


At All Costs

by I_msorrymylove



Series: The Notes [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 16:27:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 72,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16705897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_msorrymylove/pseuds/I_msorrymylove
Summary: Stan Pines, also known as Mr. Mystery, was able to keep his brother's portal open long enough that his twin was able to get through to Gravity Falls. But he was not alone. Tagging along with him was the mysterious woman who fell through with him, Susan. Who is the black haired woman and just what will her addition mean for the rest of Summer? Ford/OC. First of the Notes





	1. A Tale of Two Stans

**Author's Note:**

> This is a copy of the same fanfiction I have on fanfic net under the account I'msorrymylove.

Ford woke up first from the explosion. He always did. He smiled at the look Susan would have on her face when he realized he had woken up first _again_ when he paused. The smile turned into a frown. Looking on the ground near him, he didn’t see the black-haired woman who had been his constant companion, his friend, for so long. He quickly thought through the events, of him pulling her through the portal with a shout of, “This is our one chance!” He really should have said that it was _his_ one chance. Because that’s what it was, his one chance to get home.

Home. Gravity Falls, Oregon. The town that many would call sleepy and boring was anything but. And now that he was home, though it seemed he would have to sort out a bit of a mess first, he could stay with Susan here. She would like the forests surrounding the town.

But still…where was she? Looking through the wreckage of what had once been his most prized possession, he spotted her dress, which was a dark reddish purple first. Grinning, he hurried over to her and gently shook her awake. She took her time, as she always did, but her eyes soon were open enough to take in his face peering over her.

“Ford…did it work?” she asked groggily. One of her hands raised up and rubbed her eyes as she looked up at him.

Ford grinned and held out a hand. “I think so,” he replied. Helping her up, he surveyed the damage they had landed in. He could clearly see his twin brother, Stan, waking up along with someone that was large and wearing a question mark shirt and two younger children, a female and a male, that had been knocked out in the blast but also waking up.

“We have company,” Susan warned, looking over at Ford for directions. Ford shook his head and held up one six-fingered hand.

“I think…I think they might be family,” he told her.

Susan frowned and looked at the group and then over at Ford. They did look similar, especially the older gentlemen. And the boy as well, he had the same hair that she had often ruffled when he got to serious. The dimension they had landed in was an apocalypse, which meant that you didn’t survive well when you were too serious. So she would often help out in that regard.

Following that train of thought, her hand reached up and idly mussed Ford’s hair up, which made him pout and whack at her hand lightly. She smirked teasingly. “You sure you aren’t a man-child?” she asked him for the umpteenth time.

Ford rolled his eyes and crossed his arms with a light huff. Looking at the ground, he suddenly grinned and hurried over to a small book on the ground. It was red with a golden six-fingered hand print on the cover and a number on it. “This is mine,” he told her rather excitedly. “I haven’t read my notes about Gravity Falls in years! Of course I remember it all, but still, the written word is nice to read…”

Susan, used to his ramblings waited until Ford looked up long enough to catch the look on her face. After over twenty years together, they had learned to read each other’s expression easily, and hers was her usual, ‘shut it,’ one. Stopping in his ramblings, he gave her a small, apologetic grin, which she returned.

….And then Ford’s twin brother, Stanley, had to cut in. “Finally! After all these long years of waiting, you're actually here! Brother!”

Susan turned and looked in between the two. Yep, this was definitely the Stanley that she had briefly met, punched, and then listened to Ford rant about for the past years in the other dimension. She considered redoing the punch she had given him when they had first met, but Ford rightly beat her to it. With a swivel around, he punched Stanley squarely in the face.

“Oh! Ow! What the heck was that for?!” the man protested after he had stumbled backwards and had begun rubbing his face.

Ford gave just glared at the man. “This was an insanely risky move: restarting the portal! Didn't you read my warnings?!” he yelled at him.

“I believe _I_ wrote them in the journals,” Susan put lightly, which made Ford huff and roll his eyes.

“My journals. My warnings,” he retorted.

Stanley, however, did not have such a take on the matter. Instead, he looked at Susan for a long while until recognition flared up in his eyes and he yelled out, “You!” Making to go and yell at her at a closer distance, Ford punched him in the face again.

“Stay back from her,” he shot at the man.

Stanley stared at his brother in bewilderment, which was a very amusing look to see on his face. “Stop punching me! How's about maybe a thanks for saving you from what appears to be, I don't know, some kind of sci-fi side burn dimension?”

It shamed Susan to want to laugh at that comment, considering how serious the matter was at hand, but she didn’t have to fight amusement for long, for Ford retorted, “Thank you? You really think I'm gonna thank you after what you DID THIRTY YEARS AGO?!”

Stanley stared at him in shock. “What I did? Why, you ungrateful...” making to punch at Ford, Susan watched, bemused, as Ford easily ducked the punch and grabbed Stanley. “Don't expect me to go easy on you, just because you're...family,” the man continued to say, as if he was anywhere close to winning, as Ford slammed him into the ground. “Ah!” Stanley finally gave up and yelled, which seemed to be as close to a yield as the man would do. Susan vaguely respected that, determination was a good skill to have, but her dislike for the man really overweighed any positive attributes he had going for him.

Ford, still holding Stanley to the ground moved off the man to go back to Susan when a younger female voice called out, “Hey, hi. Mabel here. Quick question: WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!”

It seemed that the children that Susan and Ford had seen earlier decided to join the fight going on. The girl, who had introduced herself as Mabel, had brown hair and was wearing a large sweater with a key on it. The boy, who seemed to be her brother, perhaps her twin, had the same brown hair and, as Susan had noted before, the same hair Ford and, now that she thought of it, Stanley had as well. And then there was a large mole-rat type person wearing an oversized green shirt with a question mark on it.

Huffing, Ford crossed his arms and examined Mabel for a few moments. Seeming to access that she was indeed a child, he turned to his brother. “Stan, you didn't tell me there were children down here. And some sort of large, hairless gopher?”

“I thought he was a mole-rat,” Susan said.

Ford looked over at the gopher/mole-rat cross and shrugged. “I can see that,” he agreed.

The mole-rat/gopher chuckled. “I get that a lot,” he admitted.

“They're your family, Poindexter. Shermy's grandkids,” Stan explained to Ford with what seemed to be a bemused look on his face.

Ford’s eyes widened and he looked over at Susan with expression of disbelief and confusion on his face. “I-I have a niece and nephew?” he asked her, which made her laugh softly and shrug.

“How am I supposed to know? I was in that dimension with you,” she pointed out.

Ford nodded at that. No, she wouldn’t know the answer to that question. And even if she didn’t she didn’t really need to. It was obvious by looking at the two kids that they were related to him. So, he kneeled down in front of the girl in the sweater, Mabel, and held out his hand for a handshake. “Greetings. Do kids still say greetings? I haven't been in this dimension for a really long time.”

Mabel laughed, which was odd given the present situation but it seemed to help and the tension in the room dropped some as everyone, even Susan and Ford, smiled at the laugh. “Whoa, a six-fingered handshake? It's a full finger friendlier than normal!”

Ford chuckled lightly as he got to his feet. “I like this kid. She’s weird,” he said to Susan.

Susan grinned and ruffled his hair. “Told you, weirdness is good.” His reaction to this statement was always the same. He huffed but didn’t reply, which is exactly what he did. Susan rolled her eyes. “You’re too predictable,” she informed him lightly.

“I-I can't believe it. You're the author of the journals!” At this very sudden cut-in from the boy, for it had to be the boy because no one else in the room had such a pubescent voice with voice cracks, Susan and Ford looked over at the boy. He seemed to be hyperventilating in what was either shock or fear, Susan really couldn’t tell.

“Is he alright?” she wondered as the boy continued to stare at Ford.

Ford shrugged and looked over at Stan, who seemed rather bemused by the boy and then over at Mabel, who also looked bemused and a tad bit concerned. The words of the boy getting to him, he flipped through the journal he had picked up before putting it back away. “You've read my journals?”

“I haven't just read them; I've lived them!” Looking either really excited or insane, the boy started to walk in circles as he spoke. “I've been waiting for so long to meet you, I-I don't know what to say I have so many question I…” his voice trailed off and he doubled over, hyperventilating. “Oooooohhh I think I'm gonna throw up.” The girl, Mabel, went over to him started to pat him on the back as the boy tried to finish whatever thing he was doing.

Exchanging a look with Susan, who gave a shrug that he matched, Ford turned to address Stan. “Listen, there'll be time for introductions later. But first, tell me, Stan: are there any security breaches? Does anyone else know about this portal?”

Stan waved his hand, which made Susan relax slightly. Thank god that he could get something right when it came to the portal….and then he said, “No, just us. Also maybe the entire U.S. government.”

_“What?”_ Susan snapped at the same time as Ford. Stanley gave them a look for that but Susan ignored it. Instead, she turned to Ford. “Do you think those cameras are still running?”

As if to answer, one of the screens that was on caught her attention. Susan and Ford peered over at it to see an agent clearly giving orders to a group of agents to search their house. Ford eyed where they came in before he sighed. “We still have _some_ time before they get here. That’ll give us enough time to plan.”

“I can always-“

“No. Way too risky.”

“But you didn’t even-“

“It had something to do with what’s in your cloak, didn’t it?”

Susan huffed and twitched the cloak closer to her. It was truly an amazing thing that he had made for her, or so he claimed. Some the stuff in it, like the pockets being able to hold far more than they should or the fact that it seemed to survive _everything_ made her wonder about its true origins. Still, the cloak was perfect for holding everything she needed to, much like his trench coat. She was always very aware of anything touching it, so when the girl, Mabel, jerked the lower part of it, she nearly went on a rampage before Ford placed a hand on her shoulder, which instantly soothed her…to a point.

“Yes?” she asked the girl in a hopefully calm manner. No one touched the cloak, not even Ford’s family.

“Well, it looks like we're stuck down here for a while. Who wants to tell us their entire mysterious backstory?” Mabel asked with a wide grin on her face.

Susan blinked at her for several minutes and then looked over at Ford. He, of course, looked over at Stan and crossed his arms. “Yes, I have some questions about this myself, Stanley.”

Mabel and the boy instantly seemed to turn on Stan. “Stanley?” the boy asked, his arms crossing in a defensive manner.

“But your name is Stanford,” Mabel put in.

“Wait, you took my name?!” Ford cried out, frowning. “What have you been doing all these years, you knucklehead?!”

The boy seemed to be on Ford’s side as well, and even Mabel seemed very upset, which given what Susan had seen of her of their short time together, that just made everything else seem worse. “Yeah, Grunkle Stan, no more lies! You owe us some answers: What's the deal with this portal? Why did you keep this a secret?”

“Grunkle?” Susan asked softly, not really interested in hearing what everyone else said about Stan hiding stuff.

“Great-uncle, family tradition,” Ford replied back just as the mole-rat/gopher put in something about fanfics…whatever those are.

Stan sighed and looked down. “Okay okay okay, I have a lot of explaining to do. It all started...a lifetime ago...nineteen sixty something. Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey,” he started. “I lived with my ma and pa in the Lead Paint District in the family pawn shop. Dad was a strict man. Tough as a cinderblock and not easily impressed.”

At this, both Stanly and Ford smiled at something, most likely a memory of their father. Susan grinned, though it was a sad one, as she recognized the smile to be the same one he wore whenever he was up late at night and writing down something in a black journal he bought. She had never asked about it, because it wasn’t any of her business. Instead, if it was very late, she would go over and ruffle his hair and say, “Whatcha thinkin’ about Fordy.” He would always groan and lean his head back so that he could see her face.

“I’ll be in bed soon,” he would promise. Susan would roll her eyes but go back to the bedroom. About ten to twenty minutes later, Ford would join her. For yes, they shared a bed. They weren’t going to bring it up until they explained to Stan _just_ how close they were, but Susan and Ford had become a force to be reckoned with together. They were truly two parts of a whole. Ford loved Susan because she cared about him. She would listen to him, and she would point out new perspectives. She would always have his back, and she protected him. Susan loved Ford because he took care of her, he was always there when she needed him, even when she didn’t know she would need him. He would do small gestures, like hold her hand when nothing was going on. She knew that if she needed to, she could fall on him because he would always be there and he would always protect her.

Smiling softly, she leaned against him as she listened to his brother talk. Ford, grinning, wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. The two listened as Stan spoke about their childhood, how they had found an old boat and name it the Stan O’ War. The two young boys had planned to sail around the world. They relied on each other because they were twins, that’s what twins did, and they also had no friends. Ford was picked on by the other boys for being so smart and having six fingers. Stan was picked on for being too stupid. So they were each other friends.

“Those were the good times. Those bullies may have been right about us not making many friends, but when push comes to shove, you only really need one,” Stan said. “Ford's brains seemed to get more impressive every year. So did our pet project. Sure I got in more than my fair share of trouble, but when your brother's the smartest kid in school, you've always got a leg up on the competition. The future was lookin' bright. For both of us. Till one day...” His voice trailing off, Stan looked down at the ground and then at Ford. Sighing, he started back up.

“Standford and I were called to the office. They always called us both because both our names were Stan. Anyways, I sat outside as genius went in. Of course I listened in on their meeting. And I heard the principal of the school telling my parents that my brother should go to some fancy school for nerds while I stay in New Jersey by myself. And when I asked him about it, he said he was going. Without Ford I was just half of a dynamic duo. I couldn't make it without him. And now, thanks to that dumb college, I was gonna lose my brother forever. So when I was walking through the school, I somehow came across the sci-fi projects.” Stan shook his head. “I don’t know what happened, honestly! I pounded on the table and something came off from the machine. I put it back on and I thought I had fixed it but I guess not…”

“I lost my pa, my ma, and my baby sibling that night. But what’s worse than losing them is that I lost the only one who really meant something to me. I lost my twin brother. Thanks to one dumb mistake I had no brother, no home, no nothing. But I had a plan to fix everything.”

“Oh! This story's so sad!” Mabel suddenly cried out, causing every head to swivel over to look at the girl. She didn’t seem to care and continued to talk. “I know what you two little broken teacups need: to hug it out! Hug it out! Hug train's comin' in the station. HUGAPOLOOZA! TWO THOUSAND!”

Susan blinked and looked at Ford, who looked completely stunned by this. “It ruins in the family,” Susan said in a soft voice.

Ford shook his head. “Shermy,” he responded.

“Sure, put the blame on the younger sibling,” Susan said with a roll of her eyes.

Thankfully, Stan seemed to be use to Mabel’s outburst. “Kid, will ya knock that off? I'm tryin' to tell my life story here,” he protested. Shaking his head, he continued on with his story. “I had decided I wasn't gonna show my face at home until I made something of myself. Unfortunately, the treasure-hunting business was slow going. Apparently gold was some kind of...rare metal. Luckily I struck a different kind of gold....in _sales.”_ Stan grinned widely. “I had made my mark, all right. Unfortunately, so did the Shammies. Apparently the cheap dye I used to color them only made stains worse. Customers went crazy about that. Fortunately they were using Stan Co. brand pitchforks. I was officially banned from New Jersey, but with a quick name change, Steve Pinington was ready to take on Pennsylvania.

“I made the Rip Off and said they didn’t give you rashes…it gave ya rashes. I traveled the whole country, sometimes outside of it, always one step ahead of the law, looking for something that would be my big break.”

Mabel stared at her Grunkle it what appeared to be awe and relief. “Whoa. So that explains all the fake IDs.”

The boy crossed his arms and looked over at Ford. “But, wait, what about you? Did you end up going to your dream school? And who is that girl with you?”

“Susan,” Susan said promptly, which caused the boy to look over at her. “My name is Susan.”

Ford gave her a small grin and then looked at the boy. “I didn’t get to go to my dream school…not exactly. I want to a smaller and lesser known college called Backupsmore University.”

Susan smiled widely. “That’s where we met,” she put in. Everyone turned to look at her, except for Ford who was looking at the ground, hoping to God she wouldn’t tell the story…“He studied far too much, everyone knew that. If you wanted to meet a quota of people coming to a party but not have them come, invite Ford.”

Ford pouted at this. “I wasn’t that bad,” he huffed.

Susan rolled her eyes. “Yes you were.” Ignoring Ford’s sigh, she continued with her part of the story of the two Stans. “I was at Backupsmore because it actually had a surprisingly good Old English program. It wasn’t the best but it was recognized. I was trying to finish up a paper and Ford decided that he needed the electricity from the dorm room next to me. Suddenly everything was off and I had lost about five hours of work. I went over to yell at him only to find him standing in the middle of an impressive smoke plume. He had blown up whatever he had made. Since it had failed, he figured he had nothing to do so Ford went over to my dorm and proceeded to not only get my paper back but also made it to where it ran faster than ever.”

Ford nodded. “Anything she needed help with became a side project to school. She was just fun to hang out with. But I still worked twice as hard as everyone else. I went from undergrad to PhD three years ahead of schedule, wrote a thesis that was nationally ranked, and was awarded an enormous grant for my own scientific research!”

“And then, one day,” Susan started, “he decided to ask the main question of his entire life. ‘What should I study next?’”

“My whole life I'd been teased for my six fingers. But that got my thinking about anomalies: things that were odd, unusual, statistically improbable. And according to my investigations, there was one place with a higher concentration of these things than anywhere else. A small lumber town in roadkill country, Oregon: Gravity Falls.”

“He packed up all his stuff, gave me a hug, and wished me luck for the remainder of my college time. And then he was gone.”

Stan rolled his eyes and, crossing his arms, started his portion up. “Meanwhile, your old uncle Stan was doing great. I had come up with a sophisticated new business strategy. I was in great shape, living on my own, and the best part was: I didn't need help from nobody,” he said in a proud voice with a sharp look to Ford.

Seeing the look, Ford sighed and shook his head. “I was heading out on my own as well. I set to work using my grant money to investigate the strange properties of this town, but what would I find here? As soon as I arrived, I got greeted by car getting stolen by a giant tree-hand. Bingo. I began to investigate at once. I knew I'd have to record my findings. I began to keep a journal...”

Suddenly, Ford got cut off by a girlish scream that made Susan jump. “THE JOURNALS!!!” the boy squealed. Then, when he looked up and saw that everyone was staring at him he blushed. “Sorry, sorry,” he apologized and then cleared his throat, “just got excited there...About the journals...Keep-keep talking.”

Very slowly, Ford nodded. “I began to keep a Journal...” he started up again, only for the boy to scream wordlessly once again.

“Just ignore him,” Susan recommended while giving the boy a worried look. She was starting to wonder if he was mentally sound. Judging by his behavior, the answer was debatable.

“Right, well as I was saying; there were anomalies everywhere. And the more I looked, the more I saw. It was finally a place where I felt at home, but something nagged at me: where did it all come from? It seemed to me the answer must come from outside of our world, a dimension of weirdness leaking into ours. I realized the only way to understand Gravity Falls would be to build a gateway: a portal to the source of its weirdness. But I couldn't make it alone. I decided to call up my old college buddy, Fiddleford McGucket, a young but brilliant mechanic, who was wasting his talent trying to make personal computers in some garage in Palo Alto. I decided to also call up Susan, because some of the ruins I was finding were just fascinating. Plus, if I came across something old that I couldn’t understand, Susan would know.”

“Fiddleford and Ford would work on the portal and I started to encrypt the journals. Ford took a break at one point and got some invisible ink from a wizard. It made anything it touched turn invisible so Ford added a few ingredients and I was able to write in the journal using it. The only thing that could make the ink show up was a black light.”

Ford gave Susan a grin. “Those were good times, despite the many long nights were spent perfecting the machine. It would be a crowning achievement of my studies. An answer to the source of this town's anomalies. And then the time had come to test it.”

At almost the same time, both Susan’s and Ford’s smiles fell. “But something went wrong,” Susan said with a shake of her head.

“Fiddleford got pulled into the portal and when he came out there was something very, very wrong. I was told to destroy it and when I refused, Fiddleford left. Susan nearly left as well, but I convinced her not to.”

“Actually, you said that you would destroy the portal, so I stayed,” Susan corrected with a pointed look.

Ford sighed and then nodded. “It would be the right thing to do, to destroy the portal. I was in over my head, and feared I was losing my sanity. I needed help. Someone other than Susan that I could trust. So I sent a postcard to Stan.”

“I got the postcard and went. When I knocked on the door to their house, I got some girl, apparently it was Susan, giving me a crazy eyes and pointing a gun at my face.”

Susan shrugged. “We couldn’t trust anyone,” she defended.

Stan rolled his eyes. “When I said who I was you _punched_ me in the face!”

“Ford talked about you a lot. I figured you needed to get punched. When the opportunity presented itself to me, I punched you in the face.” Susan shook her head, “It’s very simple Stanley, please do keep up.”

Stan glared at Susan while Ford ran his hands over his cheeks. “Susan, be nice,” he scolded half-heartedly. This made Stan give him a glare as well before he huffed.

“Can I keep going?” There was no protest so Stan gave nod. “Anyways, Ford showed me the weird sci-fi portal thingy he had built and then shoved a journal into my hands. He told me to sail far away from him with the journal. My own twin brother, the one I wanted to sail around the world with and we used to be so close was telling me to get as far away from him as possible. I made a stupid mistake and decided to try and burn the journal. Ford and I fought.”

“I tried to break it up, tried to stop any damage, but nothing worked. Stan got burned on his shoulder and showed Ford towards the portal. I tried to pull him back, but Ford shoved me out of the way. I hit the lever that controlled the portal and then fell over the safety line. Ford tripped over it and suddenly we were holding hands and getting pulled into the portal with Stan calling after us. Ford made the decision to throw the journal at him and then we were through the portal and in an apocalypse.”

Stan stared at Susan, his heart breaking all over again as he relived losing his brother all over again. Susan, feeling Stan’s gaze, looked down. Ford instantly took her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Everything was better now, they were back in Gravity falls.

Taking a deep breath, Stan finished his tale. “I didn't know if he was dead or alive in some distant galaxy, but I knew his journal must have the answer to getting him back. Somehow. I didn't get much sleep that night. Or the night after that. I tried for weeks to turn that dumb machine back on. But without the other two journals it was hopeless. Finally I ran out of food. I had no choice but to go into town. I had no money and I needed it badly. People somehow recognized that I was my brother, so I took his name and invited them back to the shack. People loved the idea of going through and seeing weird stuff and I got the money I needed.

“So I came up with a plan. I couldn't leave my brother's house until I figured out how to save him, but I needed to pay his mortgage somehow. For once in my life, people were actually buying what I was selling. And so the Murder Hut was born! Later renamed the Mystery Shack. Finally I found something I was good at. For once being a liar and a cheat paid off. The old me was dead, and I'd faked a car crash to prove it. By day I was Stanford Pines: Mr. Mystery. But by night I was down in the basement, trying to bring the real Stanford back.”

Nearly done, Stan shook his head and gave the two kids a sad look. “I couldn't risk anyone learning the truth and sabotaging my mission, so I lied to everyone: the town, my family, your parents, even you kids.”

Susan looked over at Ford, who was studying Stan. She could clearly tell what he was thinking. He could see that Stan was truly regretful when it came to all the lies and deceit that he had done. The only thing Susan couldn’t tell was if Ford would forgive him.

However, it seemed that the two kids didn’t need to have to think much on whether or not they would forgive Stan. “So all this time you were just trying to save your brother. Grunkle Stan, I'm so sorry I didn't believe you,” the boy said.

Stan looked truly touched and gave the boy a smile. “That's okay, kid. I probably wouldn't have believed me either,” he admitted with a small shrug.

For a moment everything was peaceful, but then the moment was shattered as an agent’s voice from upstairs called out loudly, “I heard talking! It was coming from downstairs!”

“Oh no, it's too late, the agents are comin' for us!” Stan yelled with a worried look towards the two kids, a worried look that Susan noticed.

“What do we do?!” Mabel cried out, her eyes wide.

The mole-rat/gopher shook his head. “Aw, man. I was so spellbound by your dramatic tale I forgot all about those dudes,” he complained.

The boy’s eyes widened and he grinned. “Wait, forget. That's it! I think I know a way we might be able to defeat those agents!” Grabbing his backpack, he pulled out a very familiar gun. Susan instantly grabbed it from him, her instincts taking over to keep that gun, that horrible gun away from the boy.

The boy stumbled backwards a few steps and Mabel instantly went to her side. Both kids stared at Susan and the boy weakly said, “Okay…not the reaction I was expecting.”

Ford, however, fully expected that reaction from Susan the moment that gun was pulled out. The gun was a powerful memory gun that Fiddleford had created. After using it on himself to forget things, he started to lose his mind. At one point, when Susan was walking through the woods to just think about stuff, Fiddleford had tried to use it on her, had tried to wipe her mind with the gun. He had tried to hit her with the gun but something had gone wrong, it had backfired. But she still had ended up passed out. When she awoke, disoriented and confused, she stumbled back to their house. She had been terrified of going out to the woods and seeing that gun again had to bring up some horrible memories.

So Ford moved over to her and took the gun from her. “Sorry,” he apologized to the kids. “I have no idea how you got ahold of one of these, but...” looking over at Susan, he sighed. “I think this might be perfect.”

Susan looked over at him, her eyes wide. “Ford…” her voice trailing off, she ran a hand through her hair. “Is there any other way?”

“No.”

Susan shook her head. “I…I trust you, Ford.”

Ford nodded and started to examine the gun. “If I can just amplify the signal to a radio headset frequency...” grabbing some wires, he plugged them into the gun. Peering through some viewing glasses, he frowned at the sight of the agents running into the shack. “There. Now everyone PLUG YOUR EARS! GET DOWN! NOW!” As he shouted this, he moved to Susan and crouched next to her, their bodies pressed against each other and their hands covering their ears. A wave pulsed around them and then there was earie silence.

“We have to move, fast,” Ford said, recovering the quickest. Helping Susan up, he squeezed her hand. She stumbled slightly and he instantly wrapped his arms around her, steadying her. He looked over at the others. “I need some important looking documents. Papers, really.”

“You’re journal,” Susan suggested.

“No!” Mabel shouted. Running over, she handed Ford a stack of pages that were hurriedly colored but still fairly good drawings.

Ford blinked down at the pages. “I don’t think these would work-“

“There’s no time!” Stan informed them. Shoving Ford, and therefore Susan, he nodded to the entrance to the rest of the shack. “You two get the agents out of here.”

Sighing, Ford put the pages in the pocket inside his trench coat. Grabbing Susan’s hand, the two hurried off. Through the shack they went, which had really changed from when Susan and Ford had been there last, until they were on the porch of the shack and surveying the confused mass of agents.

“Stand down, gentlemen! I've been sent with the latest intel from Washington,” pausing he flipped through Mabel’s reports and then continued, hoping that this act was successful, “According to this very real report, the power surges in Gravity Falls were actually due to radiation from an unreported meteor shower. A total embarrassment for your whole department. Luckily I'm here to take this mess off your hands, but I'll need of all your...” his voice trailed off, he looked over at Susan, unsure of what exactly he needed to ask them for.

“Any and all of your records,” Susan put in.

A man motioned to another man who stepped forwards. “Uh, everything about this case is contained on this drive.” The other man handed Ford some sort of drive which he examined, curious about whatever it was.

Looking over at Ford to see him occupied with the drive, Susan shook her head and addressed the agents, “I suggest you leave before I have all of you court-martialed.”

One of the men nodded. “Uhh, yes ma’am and sir. Apologizes ma’am and sir.” Turning away, he whistled loudly. “False alarm, everyone!” as the agents started to loud up, Susan shivered slightly at the sight of the man tripping on his way to his car. The memory gun definitely had done damage.

Turning away, she ruffled Ford’s hair, knowing that that was the only method that would get him to stop examining the drive. He turned and then sighed. “But it’s so cool,” he whined even as he handed it to her. Seeing a goat, Susan shoved the drive in the goat’s mouth and watched as the goat ran off, munching on it.  

“I’m sure we can find another one,” Susan told Ford with a reassuring pat on his shoulder.

Ford grinned. “I think this is the first time we’ve been alone since we got back to Gravity Falls…”

“Great uncle Stanford and Miss Susan that was amazing!” at the young girl’s voice, Susan gave Ford a look for jinxing their time together. Now, Mable was running towards them along with the mole-rat/gopher, Stan, and the boy.

“Let's not go crazy; it was serviceable,” Stan grumbled.

Ford chuckled and nudged Susan, who grinned despite herself. “Thank you, kids, but please, call me Ford.”

“And Susan is fine,” Susan put in.

The boy nodded quickly. “Sure! Thanks, Great Uncle Ford and Susan. So, uh,” grabbing a notepad and pen, he started to click the pen excitedly over and over again, “would you mind if I ask you two a couple billion questions about Gravity Falls?”

Ford blinked. “Um, well I-uh...” he started to stumble.

Susan just stared at the boy as if he was an alien, which given everything in Gravity Falls that could actually be true. “I don’t think…”

Luckily, Stan came in to the rescue the two. “All right, kids, it's been a long day and me and my brother, and I guess Susan as well, have a lot to talk about. Why don't you hit the hay, huh?”

The boy looked up at Stan with wide, pleading eyes. “But, it's the author!” he protested and then clicked the pen some more. “I've been waiting so long to ask questions about-“

Stan shook his head and grabbed the boy’s and Mabel’s heads and pushed them towards the door of the shack. “I said. Hit. The hay!”

As that was going on, Susan and Ford exchanged worried looks. By the way both kids rubbed the back of their heads, Stan using that a means to shove them had to hurt, and by the way they reacted and went upstairs, one had to wonder how common that was. From what Ford had told Susan, Stan had always been rougher and more physical than him, but to act like that as an adult to two children? That was just troubling.

“I'll just...let myself out,” the gopher/mole-rat muttered, and then scurried off, which just left Susan, Ford, and Stan on the porch together.

“So…uh,” Stan said with an uncomfortable scratch of the back of his neck.

“So…uh,” Ford echoed. Seeing how uncomfortable Ford was, Susan took his hand and gave it a small squeeze, which prompted him to look over and give her a grateful smile.

“So you and her…” Stan started, eyeing the two.

Susan nodded. “Though not officially. There weren’t that many priests in the apocalypse.”

“Try any,” Ford muttered. For they had looked, quite a few times. At one point they considered going to a different part of the dimension, but the passage was always took dangerous. To them, the small bands made out of obsidian meant more to them than anything. Both wore the bands around their neck as they didn’t want to risk dropping it.

Stan stared at them for a long moment, at their closeness. He sighed, “Do you guys want some food or anything?”

Susan looked over at Ford, who shrugged. “Sure,” he agreed.

“Sure,” Susan echoed.

Stan nodded and then walked inside, leaving Susan and Ford alone. The two looked at each other. “We’re finally back.”

Ford nodded and hugged Susan. “We’re finally back.”

For a long moment, the two stood together, their arms around each other. At one point, Ford lowered his head down and kissed Susan briefly for a few moments, but then they just went back to hugging. Susan laid her head on Ford’s shoulder and sighed.

In the dimension they had been in, there were so few moments to be quiet. It was all running and fighting and trying to survive. Even though they were safe, they still wanted to be together, in each other arms, as they always were.

“I love you, Stanford Pines,” Susan said in a soft voice. She had said it once before, because she never felt comfortable using it casually. To her, love was special, and saying that she loved someone meant that she truly loved them.

“I love you too, Susan,” Ford replied. Taking her feelings into account, Ford never brought up the word love and only let Susan bring it up. He would always respond with that he loved her too, because that was the truth and he tried to be as honest as possible.

So they stood there, on the porch, for a long time.

* * *

After a silent dinner of cold pasta, Ford stood next to Stan and stared at themselves in the mirror. Susan was sitting nearby, watching them as they stared at their appearance. They had found all their old clothes, which was very nice, and now Susan was dressed in her dark green dress and Ford was redressed in his red turtleneck and tan trench coat. These clothes truly reminded them that they were home, that everything was okay, and Susan loved that feeling.

“Look at us. When did we become old men?” Stan asked suddenly with a shake of his head.

Ford grinned and looked over at Stan’s reflection in the mirror. “You look like Dad,” he remarked.

Stan shook his head. “Ugh, uck, don't say that,” he complained and then nudged his brother, which prompted both of them to laugh and Susan to grin.

Once the laugh had died down, Ford sighed. “Okay, Stanley, here's the deal. You can stay here the rest of the summer to watch the kids. Susan and I will stay down in the basement and try to contain any remaining damage. But when the summer's over, you give us our house back, you give me my name back, and this Mystery Shack junk is over forever. You got it?”

Stan glared at his brother. “You really aren't gonna thank me, are you?” after a beat with no jumping to answer, Stan shook his head. “Fine. On one condition: you two stay away from the kids; I don't want them in danger. Cause as far as I'm concerned, they're the only family I have left.” Shaking his head, Stan walked off.

Susan went over Ford and wrapped her arms around his waist. “It’s going to be okay,” she reassured.

Ford gave her a grateful grin and then rested his forehead on the top of hair. “I know we should go and see the damage the portal caused by opening, but our bed…our bed is here.”

“Tomorrow, Ford. Tomorrow we will work. Tonight, we will sleep.”

Ford grinned and took Susan’s hand. Together, the two walked to their bed and promptly collapsed.

 


	2. Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons

It had been a few weeks since Susan and Ford had returned to Gravity Falls by means of the portal that Ford had built and his brother, Stan, had restarted to get them home, and things in the Mystery Shack, Susan’s and Ford’s old home, were very, very tense.

Stan and Ford, once twins who had been closer than anything, now refused to look at each other, much less talk to each other unless absolutely needed. Susan, who was on Ford’s side, tried to act as a moderator for the two, she had even taken to sitting in the chair that was in between the two at the now very packed table they ate at for food, but she ended up having to deflect any questions Dipper asked her, which were too numerous to count, and would therefore miss whatever look that one of the twins, usually Ford, would give to the other twin, usually Stan, and make said second twin, Stan,  declare that whatever meal they were eating was over. When that happened, which had been all the meals they had had together, Ford and Susan would go down to the basement and continue working on the multiple problems that had occurred while they had been gone, like a loose Cycloptopus. The Cycloptopus was a beast they had discovered. Once they had realized how violent it became after eating any flesh, they had jarred it up to better study it. Somehow, the airtight jar that had a warning about not doing anything to it, was broken. When Ford was cataloging the creatures they had and found that the Cycloptopus was free, he, and then Susan when she had heard the news, had not only panicked but started a complete basement search. Just when they were about to see if it had escaped to the rest of the house, it latched onto Ford’s thankfully electrogloved hands.

“We need more space!” he had cried out after a struggle that Susan had tried to join in but couldn’t due to the narrow hallway of the basement.

“But the kids are upstairs!” she pointed out. Through the weeks that she had been there, she had developed a soft spot for Mabel, who was so quirky and silly that anyone who didn’t like her had to be inhuman, and a lesser soft spot for Dipper, who despite his many annoying questions had wormed her way into hers and likely Ford’s hearts by his thirst to want to know about everything.

“I’m sure they’re in their rooms,” he suggested.

* * *

They weren’t. In fact, when they banged into the main room of the house they found not only the kids, but also Stan. Susan barely held back a sigh, he would never let this occasion go, but yelled out, “Get down! It can’t get any taste of human flesh!”

Next to her, Ford was able to punch the Cycloptopus off his wrist, causing it to slither straight towards the kids. Thankfully, they, or at least Dipper, took their warning to heart. He scrambled up the barrels behind him, a hand tugging the back of Mabel’s sweater to do the same. “What is it?!” he shouted.

Mabel, on the other hand, grinned widely even while she was backing up to get away from the Cycloptopus. “Can we keep it?” she asked eagerly.

The Cycloptopus, still moving about on the floor, suddenly started to scramble up the counter Stan had been leaning on, causing the man to roll up the newspaper he was reading and whack the beast repeatedly while yelling, “Kill it! Kill it!”

Ignoring all their reactions, Ford chased the Cycloptopus into a corner, where Susan proceeded to kick a box down, trapping it. “Patience... and,” Ford muttered, his gloves held out to shock the creature as soon as its eye changed into a mouth…and then it changed, causing Ford to leap forwards with a cry of “Gotcha!” Shocking it, he held up the limp, burnt body with a grin.

Smiling back at him, Susan ruffled his hair. “Very good job,” she commented. “Though I suggest you put that down before it scars the children for life.”

Blinking, Ford nodded. “Oh right. “ Putting his arm down, Ford just let the Cycloptopus lay there, on the ground, making Susan sigh and shake her head. When it came to kids, Ford really didn’t seem to understand that they shouldn’t see an electrocuted dead thing.

“Great. Now get it outta here. It smells like if death could barf,” Stan snapped at them.

Turning to leave, Susan closed her eyes and let out a whoosh of air as the sound of feet reached her and Dipper cried out, “Great uncle Ford! Susan! Do you two need any help with that? I've read all about these creatures in your journal, and I think I know how to—“

Ford cut him off with a shake of his head. “No! I'm sorry, Dipper, but the dark weird road I travel, I'm afraid you cannot follow.”

Susan rolled her eyes and ruffled Ford’s hair. “Don’t spoke him,” she whispered, for Ford’s speech, while very true, was way too dark for a kid to handle, especially a twelve year old.

Ford nodded. “Well, call us for dinner,” he finished. The two proceeded to go over to the vending machine and step inside of it with the door closing behind them.

“Ford…the Cycloptopus…” Susan warned. This was very needed because the Cycloptopus decided to start to wake up, making Ford have to hold it up and shock it with his other hand, making it go back to being fried once more.

* * *

Down in the basement, Susan was going through the bag that Ford had brought over with him. “Did you seriously bring this back?” she asked him with an arch eyebrow. Looking over, Ford nodded with a small grin as he saw that she was holding the plastic black case that was holding the Infinity Die.

“You thought they were pretty,” he remarked. And they were, Infinity Dies were an interesting mother of pearl color that shimmered lightly. The infinite numbers of symbols on, giving it its name, glowed purple, or blue, or black when they appeared on the surface.

Still, Susan snorted and said, “Yeah, pretty _deadly.”_

“But that’s just adds to the excitement!” Ford protested. Taking the box from her, he put it onto the counter and stared at the sheet he had set up to hide their project. “Do you think we should tell them?”

Susan got up from the counter and moved behind Ford. Wrapping her arms around his shoulder, she leaned down until her chin rested on his head. “They’re not my family,” she pointed out. “I can’t really have a say in it.”

Ford sighed. _“If_ they were your family, what would you do?”

“I would at least tell Dipper. He likes this stuff a lot and kind of reminds me of a miniature you.”

Ford gave a slight nod at that. “But what if he tells Mabel? Or Stan? They would never understand the kind of work we do down here.”

“That’s the risk you’ll have to take, Ford.” Susan shrugged. “I stand by whatever your decision is.”

Getting up the chair, Ford smiled at Susan. “I’ll go get the journal so we can catalogue the Cycloptopus.”

Susan nodded and sat down in the chair, fully prepared to wait for Ford. Leaning back, she sighed as she stared up at the metal ceiling. It was already late in the summer, which meant that Ford and Susan weren’t going to stay in the basement for much longer. Still, the laboratory needed some sort of thing to cover up the metal. At least the bedroom that they had set up had carpets on the floor.

Closing her eyes, her breathing deepened as she started to drift off…

“AAAAAHHHH!!!” at the rather girly scream, Susan jerked from the chair and pulled back until she was against the console. Her eyes widened as she looked up and saw Dipper falling from the upper level. As he fell, she winced as he hit the shelf, causing the jar with the Cycloptopus on it to fall to the ground next to him.

“Dipper!” Susan cried out as the boy looked up while fixing the pine tree hat he was wearing. “What are you doing down here? _How_ did you get down here?”

Grabbing something off the floor, Dipper held up a small but many sided die. “My 38 sided die rolled under the house. I crawled after it and…” as he got to his feet, Dipper’s voice trailed off. “Yeah,” he finished weakly.

Susan took the die from him and was in the process of examining it when Ford came in. “Dipper! What did I say about coming down here? My work is far too dangerous for a single living soul to spend even one second i- wait!” cutting himself off, Ford took the die from Susan and stared at it with what seemed to be awe in his eyes. “Is that a 38-sided die from Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons?!” he asked her.

In response, Susan pointed at Dipper, causing Ford to turn and stare at him. “Y-you know that game?” he breathed, the boy’s eyes widening.

“With pen and paper, shield and sword...” Ford started.

“Our quest shall be our sweet reward!” the two finished together, causing them to burst into laughter.

Susan, her brow furrowing, leaned back against the console and crossed her arms. She had never heard of Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons but those two clearly had. Still, it made her smile to see Ford so happy and if it meant bonding time for the Pines family, then she was glad.

“This is my favorite game in the whole multiverse! I can't believe they still make it!” Ford said with a small laugh.

Dipper nodded. “They do! And I've been looking all day for someone to play it with me!” he explained with an eager smile.

“My boy, do you know what this means? We must stop everything I've been working on at once... and PLAY!”

“Ford, look out!” Susan warned as the Cycloptopus sprang at him. Hurrying forwards, she grabbed it mid-lung, making Ford turn his head and then grin at Susan.

“Thanks!”

“Gloves?”

“Bedroom.”

With a nod, Susan hurried to the bedroom while holding the Cycloptopus.

* * *

A few hours and one very, very dead Cycloptopus later, Susan walked back into the lab only to step on some sort of crunchy thing. Looking down, she picked up a crumpled piece of graph paper and examined the writing. It had to be Ford’s because when he was writing quickly, he would often smudge his writing with his sixth finger. Placing it back down on the floor, Ford disliked it when his things were moved, she carefully walked, it was more of balancing, through the cracks on the floor where there wasn’t graph paper until she came upon Dipper and Ford. The two were sitting across the board for the game, Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons.

Ruffling Ford’s hair, causing him to nod and look behind at her briefly, Susan got up on the console, which was mostly graph paper free, and crossed her legs as she watched the two. Ford was doing what he often did when he was holding something small in his hands, he was moving it quickly through his fingers while Dipper watched him, enamored.

“Alright. You've entered the chamber. Princess Unatainabelle beckons you. But WAIT! IT'S A TRAP!” While Dipper gasped, Susan just grinned as she saw how enamored Ford was in the game. “An illusion cast by Probabilitor the Annoying.”

Dipper grinned widely. “You know his weakness, right?” he asked him.

Ford nodded and then joined in with Dipper to say loudly, “Prime-statistical anomalies over 37 but not exceeding 51!” and then they rolled the dice.

It seemed that they got the correct number because, Dipper cheered, “Yes! Uh! In your face, you cardboard wizard!”

Taking the cardboard picture of a wizard that had been standing next to the game, Ford frowned at it. “The old boy looks a bit different than he did back in my day,” he noted.

Dipper nodded. ”Yeah, they change the art every few years. Thankfully you missed the period when the creators of the game tried to make it ‘cooler.’” And then, he explained about how, during the 1990’s, the game had changed to Diggity Dungeons and All That.

“Just…what?” Susan asked, her eyes wide as she tried to understand why anyone would want to make a game cooler, and then why they thought that changing the name to something that stupid would work.

The boy nodded and then shivered. “Must have been dark times, those 90's.”

“Yeesh. Sounds like a good time to be stuck between dimensions,” Ford said.

“I couldn’t agree more,” Susan put in with a grin.

Dipper frowned. “Great uncle Ford and Susan, I’ve been meaning to ask you two: where were you guys before you came out of that machine, and what have you both been doing down here? Are you working on something behind that curtain?”

Ford blinked at the questions and looked over at Susan, who shrugged. Both taken aback, it took Ford a moment to answer. “Dipper, it's best if you and the family stay away from that subject. Honestly, I'm not sure any of you could handle the real answer,” he said slowly.

“But, but I can handle it-“ Dipper started protest.

Knowing that Ford was already struggling with whether or not to tell anyone and Dipper had to have been reminding him more and more of himself, Susan grabbed the Infinity Die box and brought it over. “Hey kid,” she said, drawing Dipper’s attention to her, “We can show you something really cool.” Opening up the box, she took the die and then carefully took Dipper’s hand and placed the die into it. “It’s an infinity sided-die. An Infinity Die.”

Dipper stared down at the die he was now holding with wide eyes. “Woah...that's so cool. And...impossible!”

“Nothing is impossible, just very improbable,” Susan remarked. “But if the impossible was real, then an Infinity Die would be a great of example of it.”

Ford grinned at Susan and wrapped his arm around her waist. “Those things are outlawed in 9,000 dimensions. You wanna know why? Look at those symbols. Infinite sides means infinite outcomes. If I rolled it, anything could happen. Our faces could melt into jelly. The world could turn into an egg. Or you could just roll an eight.”

“It’s a bit like that spaceship in _A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,”_ Susan pointed out. “You don’t know what happens until it happens.”

Ford nodded. “Who knows,” he agreed. Taking the die from Dipper, he put it back in the case. “That's why I have to keep it in this protective cheap plastic case.” Susan took the case from him and placed it back on the console before sitting next to it as Ford said, “Now, back to the game! You've got Probabilitor on the ropes.”

* * *

That night, Susan sat on the bed, in her pajamas as Ford was brushing his teeth in the small bathroom. “You have fun today?” she asked him.

From where he was standing and where she was sitting, they could both see each other clearly, since the door was opened, which allowed Ford to just be able to nod in response and then hold out a piece of graph paper.

Getting up, Susan walked over and took the paper from him and scanned it. “Isn’t this just one possible thing that could happen?” she pointed out.

Spitting the toothpaste out and cleaning his tooth brush and mouth, he nodded and took the paper from her. “That’s the point. Anything can happen in it, no matter how much you plan.”

“Sounds like a game you would like,” Susan pointed out. Ford love planning everything, and he was also amazing at planning things when something went wrong.

Ford nodded. “You should try it with us. Dipper is the best player I’ve ever met!”

Susan grinned but shook her head. “This is your thing with him. I’ll watch, keep track of your graph paper so it isn’t a safety hazard, but you guys keep playing.”

Smiling at her, Ford gave her a soft kiss. “Do you mind if I finish writing out a few ideas I have?”

“Why wouldn’t I.” Going over to the bed, Susan sat down and watched as Ford proceeded to sit down on the floor and start writing, occasionally checking the volumes that held the notes.

Finally, at about three in the morning, Susan woke up somewhat as she felt Ford get into bed with her. Curling up next to him, she barely cracked open an eye to see him looking down at her, a soft smile on her face. “Go to sleep, silly,” she mumbled groggily.

Ford grinned and kissed the top of her forehead. “I will,” he promised.

* * *

The next day, when everyone was oddly not around, Ford and Dipper, with some help from Susan, set up the game in what appeared to be the living room of the house. Susan, who had elected herself official graph paper keeper, had eventually dragged in a trash can to try and contain all the unneeded papers. She was also trying to keep a binder on her lap as well. As there was no dividers, her only system of organization was keep Ford’s papers the correct way up but turning Dipper’s papers upside down.

Hearing sound the feet at the opening to the living room, Susan smiled apologetically as Mabel, Stan, and some giant female friend of Mabel’s came into the room with the intent to probably do what it was meant to be to them: Watch TV.

“Dipper, could you maybe move this to another room?” Mabel asked her brother. Her voice was clearly strain and could feel her heart breaking a small bit at how upset she sounded that her brother had done this.

Instead of Dipper answering, it was Ford who replied, “No dice! We ran out of room in the basement and we're going for a world record! Now, dice!” Turning back to the game, Susan crossed her arms as he rolled the dice and had them land on the board. “32, yes! 7,000 points damage!”

Dipper started to laugh. “You got me!”

Seeing Stan coming over, Susan got up from the couch and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Is there _any_ other place you can watch TV?” she asked him in a soft voice. That was really the only choice they had at this time.

Stan moved her hand off his shoulder non to gently and then shoved her lightly away, making her stumble but still stay upright. Crossing her arms, she frowned as she watched Stan start to yell at Ford. “Oh, why, why with this? You wanna break a record, Ford? You already got it with world's nerdiest old man.”

“Hey, at least I'm not all keyed up to watch a kid's show,” Ford snapped back, rolling his eyes.

Stan glared at him. “I'll have you know that Duck-tective has a big mystery element! And a lot of humor that goes over kids' heads!”

“I don't get a lot of it, but I like animals in human situations.” The friend of Mabel’s, who had such a deep voice that it made Susan barely hold back a snort and have to bite her lip to contain it, practically yelled, though that might have been her usual talking voice.

“Grunkle Stan, it starts in a few minutes!” Mabel warned from the doorway, reminding the man that he had more important things to do than yell at his brother.

Moving to the TV, he made to take off the piece of graph paper, the one that Ford said they _needed_ to keep up so they could play the game as fairly as possible, from the TV screen, but Ford stopped him by grabbing his wrist and growling, “Move that and pay the price!”

“Oh, what, fifty magical dwarf dollars?” Stan sneered.

Ford glared at Stan for that. “Don't mock our fantastical monetary system!”

“I'll mock all I want, it's my TV room!”

“And it’s Susan’s and my _house_ , you…” Susan placed a hand on his shoulder, causing Ford to calm down some. With a sigh, he said, “Listen, Stanley, did it ever occur to you to if you joined us you might actually have fun?”

Stan stared at Ford, his mouth wide open. “What? Now you listen to me!” Grabbing the bag that Ford carried everything in, Susan realized with horror that she had put the Infinity Die in there. “As long as I live I will never…”

“Stan!”

“…ever...”

“Stan give me the bag!”

“Play your smartypants nerd game!” And then Stan threw the bag down.

Susan, Ford, and Dipper watched in horror as the Infinity Die rolled out of bag and onto the board. Stopping completely, the symbol glowed brightly along with the die and a power of some sort traveled over to the Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons characters on the cardboard stand, causing the four characters to appear.

Backing away from them, Ford pulled Dipper behind him and then tried to do the same from Susan, causing her to smack his arm. Wincing, he looked at the characters as one of them, Probabilitor, addressed them. “Mortals of dimension 46'\, kneel before me and,” kneeling down, he rolled the die and looked at the number that it landed on, “snivel!” he nodded and rose back to his feet to glare at all of them. “I am Probabilitor! The greatest wizard in all of mathology! Give or take an error of 0.4.”

“Eh, is this normal?” Stan asked, looking at the players to answer.

Ignoring him, Dipper asked in a soft voice, “Have you come to send us on the quest of a lifetime because we're the smartest players you've ever met?”

Probabilitor shook his head. “You _are_ the smartest players I've ever met! That's why I'm going to eat your brains to gain your intelligence. It's what I do.”

Next to him, an ogre nodded. “It's his thing,” it remarked.

Dipper’s eyes widened in horror. “What?!”

“Seize them!” Probabilitor ordered.

Ford grabbed the gun that was strapped to his hip and pointed it at the wizard. Next to him, Susan grabbed the gun from her hip, the one she hardly used, and also pointed it at the wizard. Briefly, Ford looked over at her and nodded. Then, he turned back to the group of characters. “Your math is no match for Susan’s or my gun, you idiot!”

“Math ray!” Probabilitor cried out. Turning away, he sent a beam straight to the wall behind him, causing it to blow out and leave a hole to the woods. “I'm not here to play games!” Grabbing Ford and Dipper, and then, after a momentary pause, Susan as well, the wizard flew out followed by the other characters. “Now to the forest, for the ultimate game!”

* * *

Having been tied to a large tree, Susan glared at Probabilitor as he measured Ford’s and Dipper’s heads. “But I wasn’t even playing! Why did you grab me?” She pointed out.

“You’re very organized. You can keep track of all the brains I’ve eaten. And with each brain I eat, I shall increase my enchantelligence,” the wizard explained with a grin that made Susan want to barf.

Ford struggled against the rope. “If my hands were free, I'd break every part of your face.”

“I’d help,” Susan put in.

Ignoring them, Probabilitor turned to an elf with a bow and arrow and ordered, “The time has come! Hot elf! Ready the brain-cooking pot!”

The elf sighed. “Yes, Probabilitor.” Shaking out his white hair, he turned to the pot and shot a flaming air, igniting the wood under it.

As the liquid in the pot started to boil, Probabilitor started to laugh. Dipper, his brow furrowing and eyes widening, shook his head. “What do we do? What do we do?”

“Stop thinking, Dipper! The more wrinkly your brain gets, the more he'll want to eat it!” Ford ordered.

Susan frowned. “I don’t think that’s how it works,” she muttered.

Going over to them, Probabilitor sneered at Dipper and Ford. “And now, a little math problem: when I subtract your brain from your skulls,” taking the staff, he hit Dipper and then Ford on the skull, causing them to wrinkle their brows in discomfort. “Add salt, and divide your family, what's the remainder?”

“YOUR BUTT!!” At Mabel’s familiar voice yelling out from behind the bushes overlooking the clearing they were in, Susan grinned widely and nudged Ford and Dipper.

Probabilitor was less pleased. He turned towards the bushes and called over, “What? My butt isn't part of this particular equation.” It was at this that the giant girl, Stan, and Mabel all jumped out of the bushes and all holding odd weapons. “Drat! How did you make it past my one guard?” Probabilitor shook his head. “Very well. There's only one way your family can save you. YOU must defeat ME in Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons: REAL LIFE EDITION!” Creating a game board, the wizard started to laugh loudly.

Stan shook his head. “What? Oh, come on!” he protested.

Probabilitor laughed. “I choose my characters...” three ogres appeared on the board, causing Susan to wince as she realized whatever was going to happen, she was joining in. “Vs. yours.” holding out his hand, Susan closed her eyes as she felt herself shrink and then get transported onto the board across from the leering ogres. Looking down, she frowned at the outfit she was wearing of a long, dark red dress with matching heels. That would be impractical to run in, as she was sure she was going to have to.

Ford reached up and tapped his ears. “Ah! My ears! They're so pointy!” he wailed.

Susan ruffled his hair. “They look fine,” she reassured. Ford grinned at her.

Dipper looked down at his tunic and shook his head. “There better be something protective under this tunic.” Turning around, he proceeded to check under the tunic. With a cry, he turned back around. “Oh, no, there isn't!”

Above the board, Stan crossed his arms. “Seriously, can't we just, like, arm wrestle or something?” he asked.

Probabilitor rolled his eyes. “Come on, this game is a lot of fun. I had my mom pack me a lunch.” Grabbing a paper bag, he took out a bag of apple slices and made a face. “Ew, apple slices? I'll eat you last.”

Stan sighed. “Uh, just make with the rules, ugly.”

“The game is a battle royale. We help our characters by casting spells determined by rolls of the dice. If you win, I'll go back to my own dimension.” At that, Mabel clapped her hands and exchanged a happy smile with Stan. “But if I win, I eat their brains and get this girl to be my organizer.”

Susan frowned. “I don’t think that’s a fair-“

“DEAL!”

Dipper shook his head. “Oh boy.”

“Let the game...BEGIN!” the wizard rolled a die, which seemed huge to the trio, they scattered away as it landed on the board and rolled until it ended with 13 on top. “Attack!” Probabilitor cried out. At the command, the ogres started to go after Susan, Dipper, and Ford with their hammers in one hand and their clubs in the other.

“Run!” Susan shouted.

Hearing her, Ford ran over and grabbed her hand. “Come on!” he yelled back at her as they sprinted on the board. “It’s just like Space Rio!”

“I wasn’t wearing heels! Screw it!” Pausing briefly, which caused Ford to drop her hand and stare at her, Susan quickly yanked the heels off and threw them behind her, which distracted the ogres for a few moments until it realized that the heels weren’t very good weapons.

Watching the chaos unfold on the board, Stan yelled to the miniature players, “What do we do? What are our moves?!”

Dipper, who was being chased by an ogre of his own, called back to him, “There are no moves; you make them up!”

“What? Really?” Stan asked, his eyes widening slightly.

Ford, who had grabbed Susan’s hand and was now trying to evade the two ogres that were chasing him, rolled his eyes but nodded. “Yes! I tried to tell you: this game involves math, but also risk, and imagination!”

“Risk?” Stan wondered, a sly grin forming. He was good when it came to things with risk.

“Imagination?” Mabel echoed, her eyes wide and a large smile on her face. She turned and nudged Stan. “Grunkle Stan, make something up! It's just like lying!”

Stan frowned and picked up the die from the ground. “I cast, uh...shield of...shielding!” Stan tried, and then rolled the die and let it land on the board. It came up as 14, causing a red Shield of Shielding to appear in front of Dipper, Ford, and Susan, who all grinned and cheered as they used it against the ogres to block their attacks.

“Shield of Shielding Reversal Spell,” Probabilitor called back before rolling the die himself. Whatever number it landed on, Susan wasn’t able to see it, was high enough to take out the shields, forcing everyone to start running again.

Not to be left out of the fun, Mabel rolled the die and then cried out, “I cast: Giggle Time Bouncy Boots!” These Giggle Time Bouncy Boots, which were a bright pink that slightly hurt Susan’s eyes, had springs attached to them which allowed the trio to jump over the ogres that had now been chasing them. “Hot flamey sword!” At this cry, a red sword that was on fire appeared in everyone’s hands. “Super hot flamey sword! And then the sword got even longer.

“I like how she thinks!” Susan yelled over at Ford as she hopped over an ogre. Turning towards it with this new sword in hand, she slashed through the ogre’s stomach and grinned as it fell forwards, disappearing.

Letting the tip of the sword hit the ground, Susan looked over to see Ford and Dipper killing the ogres. When all three of them had disappeared, leaving only Susan, Ford, and Dipper, Susan figured that Probabilitor would call defeat and realize that fighting them wasn’t worth his time.

That wasn’t what happened.

Instead, he snatched the dice and started to shake it in his hand. “No! Drat you! You'll never outrun my,” throwing the dice down he grinned widely, “Ogre-nado!” And that appeared. An ogre-nado, a literal tornado with ogres instead of wind, started to head towards the group. “It is what is sounds like!”

Exchanging worried looks but readying their swords, they let out cries of shock as their Super hot flamey swords flew from their hands and into the ogre-nado, leaving them defenseless and their only option to back up until their backs were pressed against the wall.

Taking the dice, Mable cried out, “I cast: CENTAURTAUR! YAH!” Throwing down the dice, the miniature trio watched as a horse with another horse’s body for its mouth appeared.

“Mabel, I am so confused and so proud right now,” Stan commented to the girl, and Susan had to agree. Never in her life as she been more confused than when she was getting onto a horse along with Dipper and Ford, but never in her life had she been more proud of someone, even if it was just conjuring up freaks of nature like a Centaurtaur from their imagination.

The Centaurtaur turned and started to gallop away from the ogre-nado. Above the board, Mabel cheered, “Go go go, Dipper go! You can do it!” as the horse started its run.

Next to her, Stan joined in to the cheering as well with, “Come on, you guys! Go! Go!”

Susan just hooked her arms around Ford tighter and buried her face into his shoulder as they rode horribly fast to a smaller room on the board and then turned around. Behind them, the ogre-nado was trying in vain to get to them, but its width and height would not allow it. After much trying, it ended up blowing itself apart, causing the ogre heads it was made up with to go flying and the trio to get off the Centaurtaur and cheer.

Thinking the game was over, Mabel and Stan also cheered. “Yeaahh!” Mabel said.

“Yes!” Stan put in.

However, a large hand suddenly grabbed Susan, Dipper, and Ford and squeezed them together, causing them to gasp. Ford and Dipper, upon seeing what had grabbed them, exchanged horrified looks and Susan felt Ford grab her hand.

“Hahaha yes! I was saving the worst for last!” Probabilitor informed them gleefully.

“Oh no!” Dipper moaned with a shake of his head.

“The Impossibeast! Hey, I thought they banned this character!” Ford protested.

Probabilitor just sneered at him. “Think again! I'm playing the controversial 1991-1992 edition!”

The Impossilbeast, which was a giant brown creature with horns and glowing red eyes, slammed the trio against the wall, in the process forcing Susan’s and Ford’s hands to let go of each other. Once they were against the hard surface, however, both reached out the hand closest to the other to grab them, but only their fingers touched.

“I'll think of some weapons!” Mabel said from above the board, the dice was still in her hands and she was shaking it, but the touch of uncertainty did not bode well with the group.

“You don't understand. This is the most powerful monster in the game! He can only be defeated by rolling a perfect 38! But the odds of that are—“ Ford tried to explain but allowed himself to be cut off by his brother, Stan.

Having taken the dice from Mabel, Stan was now rolling them in his hands. “Hey, long odds are what you want when you're a world class gambler!” He closed his eyes and let out a slow breath before opening them, determined to get the number they needed. “Alright, Stan, you can do this...Papa needs a new pair of...TWINS!” at the last word, which he yelled, he threw out the dice and all watched as it rolled until it landed on a perfect 38, the number they needed.

“NOOO!” Probabilitor yelled, defeated.

From across the board, Stan smirked. “Sorry, nerd-wizard. All your smarts are no match for dumb luck.”

“I cast DEATH MUFFINS!” Mabel cried out.

Now armed with muffins that had glowing sticks of dynamite in them, the three threw the muffins into the beast’s mouth, causing it to drop them and frown. “Huh?” he wondered, but then he exploded into muffins.

As everyone cheered, Susan grinned as she felt herself grew back into her usual height. Looking down, she breathed a sigh of relief as she saw that her actual, much more practical, clothes were back. Dropping the muffin she was holding, she turned to Ford, who was dressed normally and was gingerly feeling the tips of ears, which were no longer pointy. Running to him, the black haired woman hugged him tightly and buried her face into his shoulder. He smiled and returned the hug with the exact same amount of tightness.

“It’s good to be back,” Susan breathed into his air.

Ford grinned. “I think I’m done with D, D, and more D,” he remarked softly.

Susan laughed and pulled away some. Turning to the others, who were all reunited and hugging, she smiled and wrapped her arm around Ford’s waist. He, after a moment to make sure that the characters were truly gone, did the same.

“Guys! We can watch the second showing of Duck-tective! It's not too late!” the giant friend of Mabel’s cried out as she squeaked a duck toy she had.

“We’ll clean up here, if you don’t mind,” Ford said as Dipper looked over at them, a clear plea in his eyes to have them come watch the show with them.

Dipper frowned for a moment and looked around. “But there’s nothing-“

“Guys! Duck-tective!”

Looking a bit puzzled, Dipper turned and followed the others, leaving Ford and Susan in the clearing, alone.

Susan leaned against Ford and looked up at the trees. “Are you going to tell him?” she asked.

Ford frowned and twirled a strand of Susan’s hair around his finger absent-mindedly. “I think I might,” he said. “He’s like me, almost too much like me. It must drive him crazy to not have anyone, I knew it did me.” He paused and then grinned down at Susan, “Until I met you, of course.”

* * *

So later that night, in the basement, while Susan was locking the Infinity Die up, Ford showed Dipper his secret. “You asked me earlier what we were working on. Well,” he pulled the sheet down from the window, revealing that the portal was gone. “We’ve dismantled the portal. An interdimensional gateway is too dangerous for the world it feeds into. That's why I was mad at Stan for using it. He saved me, and Susan, but, as I feared, the instability of the machine created this:” grabbing a transparent sphere, he held it up to show Dipper the blob that looked remarkably like space that was floating in it. “An interdimensional rift. I've contained it for now, but it's incredibly dangerous. Dipper, I don't want you to tell anyone about this. Not Stan, not even your sister. You understand?”

“Oh-uh, of course,” Dipper breathed his eyes wide.

Hearing the shock in his voice that Ford would probably not pick up on, Susan turned and took Dipper’s hat off so she could ruffle the boy’s hair as she often did with Ford before she put the hat back on. “It is as serious as it sounds,” Susan warned in a soft voice, “but we’re asking you to not tell anyone else because this information, in the wrong hands, could me a lot of bad things.” She squatted down so she was eye level with the boy. “But, we also trust you,” she finished with a smile.

Dipper beamed at this, which made Ford grin and place a hand on Susan’s shoulder as she straightened up. “Now get yourself to bed. Susan and I have much research to do.”

The boy nodded hurriedly. “Goodnight, Great uncle Ford. Goodnight, Susan.”

“Goodnight!” Susan called back to him as Ford put away the rift in a special compartment.

Ford turned back to Susan with a smile. “You were right,” he remarked.

“I was?”

“Dipper is trustworthy.”

Susan grinned and gave Ford a small kiss on the lips. “Now, we got to catalogue some more things, don’t we?” She asked, all business.

Ford nodded. “Of course.”

 

 

 


	3. The Stanchurian Candidate

Susan nearly hissed like a cat as she felt Ford sit up next to her. “What?” she heard him grumble, making her groan and grab a pillow to cover her ears.

Still, even with that extra protection, she heard Mabel say in her high-pitched voice, “Great uncle Ford, the light bulb is out in the kitchen.”

Most likely beside her, Dipper added in, “And Grunkle Stan isn’t here.”

“Is Soos unable to put in a simple light bulb?” Ford asked rather crankily, a feeling that Susan agreed with. Soos was the handy man for the shack, and he was also the gopher/mole-rat that they had met when they first arrived.

“We’re out of light bulbs,” Mabel informed him, and then there was the sound of someone hitting someone else on the arm and Dipper made a noise of protest. “ _He_ decided to make a suit for Soos.”

“It was a planetarium suit for him!” Dipper protested. “Great uncle Ford you should have seen it! It was _so_ cool, but Soos broke it.”

Mabel sighed. “Why make a suit you can’t sit down in?” she pointed out. “Please Great uncle Ford, will you make a light bulb to put into the kitchen.”

Knowing that he was going to give in, Ford had a huge soft spot when it came to these kids, Susan sat up in bed next to him. “Why do you need a light bulb now?” she asked. She had checked the time and it was about eight in the morning. Surely, the kids could wait.

“Because we’re _hungry_ ,” Mabel answered while rubbing her stomach. “And it’s bad luck to eat in the dark.” Next to her, Dipper, who had been nodding along with her, frowned at the last part but shrugged it off.

Ford sighed. “I guess it couldn’t hurt,” he gave in, which made the kids cheer and Susan to roll her eyes but get out of the bed with him nonetheless. “We’ll bring the light bulb to you two when we’re done. Go play or something until then.”

At this, the kids scampered off, leaving Susan to give Ford a glare. Grabbing the pillow she had been using to try and block out the kids, she hit him over the head with it, prompting an ‘ow’ as a cry of protest. “What was that for?!”

“You kept me up all night cataloging,” she pointed out. “Getting up at eight was _not_ part of the plan.”

Ford frowned. “But we now know we have all the animals,” he pointed out. That was very true and Susan had to admit that it was nice knowing that there wasn’t anything like another Cycloptopus scampering about while they were sleeping. “Besides,” Ford continued. “You don’t have to do anything. You can go back to sleep if you want.”

Susan shook her head. “ _Someone_ has to keep you out of trouble,” she informed him.

“I don’t get into trouble!” Ford protested.

Susan laughed and gave him a small peck on the lips. “It’s alright Ford. I like making sure you don’t die.” Ford pouted slightly at the statement, but seemed to brighten up when Susan gave him another quick kiss. “Now go make the light bulb and I’ll get dressed and make the kids food.”

About an hour late, at nine in the morning, Susan was serving up the kids, and Soos, some pancakes with scrambled eggs while Ford, on a step-ladder in the middle of the kitchen, was screwing in the light bulb he had created for the room. Dipper, Mabel, and Soos stood around him, their mouths hanging open as if they had never seen someone put in a light bulb. Though, judging by how odd Soos was, that was probably very true.

“And...we're...done!” Ford informed everyone, a grin on his face as the kitchen was illuminated by the light bulb. The trio cheered at this, causing Ford to practically beam.

“Does anyone see this? This is what a hero looks like right here,” Mabel said, pointing at Ford.

Susan rolled her eyes. “And breakfast is ready as well,” She told them while placing the plates down in the kitchen table, causing yet another cheer from the trio and a quick rush to the table to sit down and eat the food. She had cooked a few times for the kids, and they seemed to love her cooking. Grabbing a plate for herself and Ford, the latter taking it and sitting down next to her, Susan asked, “Where do you guys think Stan is?”

“I was at the grocery store,” Stan responded, causing Susan to jerk and Ford to tighten his grip on his fork while everyone else kept eating. The couple turned in their seats to face Stan, who was standing in the archway to the kitchen, a frown on his face at the sight of everything going on and the two being upstairs. “I thought we were out of light bulbs.”

Ford nodded. “Oh we were, so I invented my own! It will last a thousand years and the light it emits makes your skin softer.” At this new information, the trio paused in their eating to rub their skin. Feeling how soft it was, they all sighed.

“Never have I known such softness!” Soos exclaimed with a happy grin on his face.

Across the table from the trio, Susan just rolled her eyes. “I’m sure you have,” she remarked.

Ford grinned at her briefly before turning back to Stan. “So, why were you at the store?” Giving him a glare, Stan threw away the box of light bulbs no one had noticed he was carrying into the trash can and went to the TV room. Ford frowned and looked over at Susan. “Was it something I said?” he wondered.

Susan shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

“What?!” at the cry, Dipper and Mabel hurried to the TV room to check on their great-uncle, and after a brief moment, Susan and Ford joined them.

“Whoa, what's going on?” Dipper asked worriedly.

Stan just motioned to the TV, which was playing a news report from Shandra, the local news reporter. “Raised by bears in the wilderness, Mayor Eustace Huckabone Befufftlefumpter was best known for raising the water tower, possible starting World War I, and putting town menace Gideon Gleeful behind bars, in actual adult prison. A memorial statue is already being carved in the deceased mayor's honor,”  
the woman explained before promptly bursting into tears. Her co-host, a well-dressed man, hurried over and started to pat her on the back to comfort her. “I'm sorry. It's just been so long since we've had real news. I'm just so happy!”

Seeing that the woman was not going to stop crying any time soon, the co-host finished the report. “There will be a town hall meeting this afternoon to discuss replacing him.”

“New mayor huh? Wonder who it could be...” Stan remarked in the chair, staring intently at the screen of the TV.

Susan frowned. “How was the mayor not dead until now?” she wondered. “He was already well over a hundred when Ford and I were here.”

Dipper shrugged. “I saw him at the Northwest party. He had vultures.”

“For pets?” Ford asked, frowning. “That’s just weird.”

Dipper shook his head. “They were following him,” he corrected with a shiver. “That party was just weird.”

Next to him, Mable nodded. “That was party when I was turned to wood!”

Susan crossed her arms. “Do I want to know?”

“Nope!” Mabel informed her cheerfully.

Susan nodded and then frowned once more, a remark in the news report coming to her. “Who’s Gideon? Him being in ‘actual adult prison’ was something that was mentioned.”

Dipper, Mabel, and Stan exchanged looks at the name and Soos, who was still eating, poked his head into the room. “Be glad you never met him, dude. He tried to destroy the shack.”

“What?!” Ford asked, his eyes widening. “Why would he want to do that?”

Dipper sighed. “He was obsessed with your journals. He had one of them for a long time and pretended to be psychic while using one of the things from it.”

Mabel nodded. “He tried to date me and then when I wouldn’t he kidnapped Dipper and I when we were shrunk down.”

Ford and Susan stared at the twins in horror. “Where was Stan during this? Or the police?” Ford asked, looking at his brother.

Stan shot him a glare. “Oh don’t you start. They’re fine now.”

Susan glared right back at him. “You’re supposed to be watching them. _Protecting_ them! Not letting them get shrunk down or turned into wood!”

Stan got to his feet. “And you guys aren’t even supposed to be up here! I thought we agreed that you two would stay in the basement!”

About to retort, Dipper and Mabel jumped in between the three fighting adults. “Guys, guys!” Dipper protested. “Stop fighting! The town meeting will be in a few hours. Why don’t we all separate and meet up to go to that?”

Seeing the reason in this, Stan nodded. Susan and Ford exchanged looks but also nodded. “Alright,” Susan agreed. “We’ll go down to the basement.”

Stan rolled his eyes. “Finally,” he muttered, which earned him a reproachful glare from Mabel. “I’m going to go take a shower.”

“I didn’t need that mental picture,” Ford remarked as he took Susan’s hand and started walking with her to the basement.

“I heard that!” Stan called after them. Both ignored him, though Susan rolled her eyes.

* * *

Susan, Ford, Dipper, Mabel, and Stan all sat in a row in the town hall of Gravity Falls. Everyone in the entire town had decided to attend the meeting, as they were all anxious to know who would be the next mayor of the town. A police officer, which Dipper had hissed to Ford and Susan was Sheriff Blubs, stood at a podium in the town hall to address the citizens. “Alright. Order! Order everyone! Calm down now! We're here to choose a mayor for the first time in almost a century. According to the town charter,” pausing, he took an ancient looking scroll and unrolled it, ignoring the bat that flew out. “worthy candidate is defined as anyone who can cast a shadow, count to ten, and throw their hat into the provided ring.” A tall, skinny man that Dipper said was Deputy Durland brought out a ring and placed it onto the ground. Immediately, a straw hat was thrown into it, causing everyone to turn around and see a large man with a huge head standing there, a smirk on his face.

“Well now I do believe I fulfill all the requirements,” he stated in a southern drawl.

Next to Susan, Dipper gasped. “Wait, Bud Gleeful?”

“He looks good! Considering we threw his son in jail,” Mabel remarked.

Susan frowned and crossed her arms. “That’s Gideon’s dad?” she asked. Dipper and Mabel nodded, which just made Susan frown even more. “I don’t like him,” she stated with a glare towards the man.

The man in question, Bud, moved up to the empty podium and gave everyone a smile that made Susan shift uncomfortably. “Now folks, I now our families had its fair shares of whoopsie daisies in the past, but I'd like to make up for it by formally announcing my candidacy for the mayor of Gravity Falls! Any questions?”

“Yes, are you still in contact with Lil' Gideon?” A man, Toby, asked Bud.

At the question, Bud frowned briefly but then brightened up. “That's a great question, I'm giving you 50% off a used car.”

“Fifty percent?! FIFTY PERCENT?!!!” Toby squealed, and then ripped his notepad in half.

Susan crossed her arms and looked over at Ford, who was tilting his head. “What do you think?” she asked him softly.

Ford sighed. “Bud can’t be mayor,” he stated. “From what the kids said, Gideon is bad news, and if Bud is in contact with him…”

Susan nodded. “But what do we do?” she wondered, ignoring the chaos around them as Bud had _so_ kindly given everyone 50% off a used car.

“Well, I can’t run. I don’t have a hat and everyone thinks I’m dead,” Ford pointed out with a frown.

“And I don’t have a hat either,” Susan agreed.

Overhearing them, Dipper sighed. “It’s a shame you guys can’t. If either you ran, you’d win. And be a great mayor!”

“So since everyone's happy I'll just take the oath of office now, sound good, gavel up?” Seeing that he was about to bring down the gavel, Stan suddenly got to his feet and threw his fez into the ring, causing everyone to gasp and Ford and Susan to exchange looks of complete bewilderment.

“Hold it right there Bud! I'm taking you on!” Stan shouted, pointing at the man.

Bud blinked. “Stanford? No o-ffence but you're just some two-bit carnival barker. And your head is more ears than face!’

Stan frowned, trying to think of a comeback. “Oh yeah? Well your face is more fat...than...not fat!” That seemed to do the trick and everyone gasped.

“Oh snap!” Someone said in the back.

Seeing the reaction, Susan turned to Ford, a smirk on her face. “That’s you, now,” she pointed out.

Ford’s eyes widened and he placed his head in his hands and shook it. “Why did Stanley ever take my name?” He moaned.

Susan just ruffled his hair. “It’s fine, Ford. After summer is over, you can have your name back.”

Ford gave her a grin and wrapped an arm around her waist. Together, the two watched as Stan rallied the townsfolk into all throwing their hats into the ring. But then, Stan, who had gone to the front of the room, was grabbed by Bud. The man was speaking too quietly for Dipper, Mabel, Susan, or Ford to hear, but they all watched in horror as Bud turned and punched the image of the Mystery Shack that was on the map behind him.

Not noticing, the townsfolk all started to cheer, “Election!” Chanting that over and over again, the townsfolk left the room while the two police officers set off the canons. Soon, they left as well, leaving the Pines family.

Dipper and Mabel quickly turned to Stan, their mouths both set in grim lines. “Grunkle Stan, what are you doing?”

Stan blinked at them. “Running for mayor! Did I...did I not make that clear?”

Mabel sighed. “Grunkle Stan, it's not that we think you can't do it, it's just-“

Dipper placed a hand on Mabel’s shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile. “No no, it's okay, Mabel.” The boy turned to Stan, frowning. “We don't think you can do it.”

Behind the two, Ford and Susan exchanged worried looks. Not wanting to get into a fight with Stan, the two took several steps back, keeping themselves apart from the twins. They didn’t necessarily know what to think. Stan would not win, not without help. But since he had the habit to blurt very rude things out, the only way he was going to be able to win would be if they happened to have a mind control tie.

Luckily they did. They needed Stan to win because Bud seemed to be up to something that involved their house, and since Ford and Susan were determined to live in that house at the end of summer, then they would have to stop Bud Gleeful.

* * *

While Ford worked in the basement on the mind control tie that the twins would use on an unknowing Stan, Susan sat upstairs with the kids, helping them set up the shack for Stan’s election. She and Soos had nailed up a ‘mayor’ sign over the ‘mystery.’

Dipper, having somehow found the town charter, called the group into the room so that he could read it to them. “Okay, Gravity Falls Elections are based on two events. The Wednesday Stump Speech, held on an actual...stump, and the Friday Debate wherein townsfolk throw birdseed at the candidate they like most. At the end, they release a freedom eagle who will fly to the candidate covered in more seed and bestow a birdly kiss upon him anointing him mayor.” Showing them the corresponding picture, Dipper let the scroll roll up with a snap. “I couldn't make this up if I wanted to.”

At the phone bank that Mabel had set up, one of the phone rang and Stan came into the room. Mabel quickly went over to him along with Dipper. While Dipper had a serious expression on his face and was holding a notepad, Mabel was grinning widely. “Okay Grunkle Stan, are you ready for your first radio interview?”

Stan shrugged, something that did not make Susan happy but she didn’t comment. “I got my mouth, don't I?”

Smiling, Mabel picked up the ringing phone and spoke into it. “Okay you're on with the candidate,” she informed the other side before she gave the phone to Stan, who placed it to his ear.

Susan, grabbing the radio, tuned it to the channel that the interview was on so that they were all able to hear the computerized voice say, “You're listening to Falls Radio: 24 hour news and bear rampage alerts, and now here's the _T-man.”_

The T-man himself, Toby, spoke up. “Hello! Candidate Stan first question: How do you feel about the American flag?”

Stan shrugged. “Meh, I can take it or leave it, too many stripes. Next question,” Stan commanded.

Susan sighed and nearly banged her head. As it was, she closed her eyes and hoped that Stan would get better with Toby’s next question. “What would you do to help educate our kids?”

Stan laughed at that. “Simple. Put them on an island and make them fight for dominance. Also teach kids swears. That'll bring them to the real world.” Susan groaned at that and looked over at Dipper and Mabel, who were exchanging horrified look.

“What would you do about the crime in Gravity Falls?” Toby asked.

And then, Stan had to nail the coffin he had built shut. “Wait, do you mean crime in general, or just the specific crimes committed by m-“

Realizing how that sentence was going to end, Dipper grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the line to the phone cord. Stan, his eyes widening, put down the phone and looked over at the boy, but he just shook his head. “Okay, interview's over. Candy, what's the damage?”

Candy, who was a sweet if a bit odd Asian girl looked down at the laptop in her lap. “Your approval ratings started at zero. Now it's a number lower than zero,” she informed them.

“Let me see,” Susan requested with a frown. Candy handed over the laptop and the black haired woman stared at the screen. “That’s a bit of a setback,” she muttered as she handed the laptop back over to Candy.

“You're meme-ing fast, and none of them are good,” Wendy, the red haired teenage who worked at the shack, warned. Holding up her phone, she showed everyone the meme of Stan that had popped up from his line about teaching kids swears.

“If a meme is supposed to be a joke, then that’s not a very good one,” Susan pointed out.

Wendy blinked at her. “Do you _not_ know what a meme is?”

“I was in a different dimension, memes weren’t there.”

Wendy sighed. “A meme is ironic, but not ironic. Funny, but not funny. I don’t really know how to explain it…”

Susan waved a hand. “It’s alright.”

Mabel, who had been thinking hard while looking at the approval ratings turned to Stan. “Look Grunkle Stan, people are like smell markers, and you're black licorice! It's not that you're un-sniffable, you just need to learn when to _keep the cap on.”_

Next to her, Dipper nodded. “From now on, maybe you should read our _prepared_ remarks.” He held out a stack of flyers with ‘Your Speeches’ written on them and Mabel’s little drawings around the words.

Stan blinked at them and then shook his head. “Heh heh. Sorry kids. I always say words that come out of my brain. If my head says, that lady's got an ugly baby, my mouth says, ‘whoa, lady, you got one ugly baby.’”

No one in the room was pleased with that answer.

* * *

Down in the basement, Susan ruffled Ford’s hair as she hopped up on the console next to where he was working. Dipper, who had followed her down while muttering to himself, was pacing back-and-forth in the room, explaining the situation to a half-listening Ford. Usually he would be listening to the boy, but he already knew most of what had happened because he had been listening to the radio station. He had heard Stan completely bomb the interview and then get literally cut off. He had thought that that had been the work of Susan. She had cut different things off before, like that tentacle that had grabbed hold of his ankle. But he had pleasantly surprised when he heard that Dipper had cut the line.

Still, he understood how Dipper’s mind worked. His worked very similarly. When he was frustrated, he just had to rant it out. Susan would usually just sit there listen while stroking his hair, like she was now. So he decided to play the part of Susan, minus the hair addition. He sat there, in his chair, occasionally working on the striped tie in front of him.

Finally, Dipper finished with a plea of, “Great Uncle Ford, what do I do? He's insisting on speaking his mind!”

Ford crossed his arms and turned in his chair to face the boy. “So this _is_ an emergency,” he remarked.

Dipper nodded. “The Stump Speech is in a couple of days, and if he continues like this, we'll lose to Bud for sure!”

Exchanging a look with Susan, Ford winked at Susan, who rolled her eyes. Ford loved pulling pranks on people, except for her. He had found out quickly enough that Susan hated to be pranked, so he never did it to her. She just meant too much to hurt for a joke. But Dipper…Dipper was fair game to Ford.

“Hmm. It's a shame there isn't some device that will allow you to control someone else,” Ford remarked. Susan rolled her eyes once more. “Oh wait…no.”

Knowing that this would go on for a long time, Susan grabbed the tie that Ford had been working on, causing him to pout and slightly reach for it. Slapping his hand lightly with her free hand, Susan tossed the tie over to Dipper. The boy caught it and stared down at, blinking in confusion. “That tie can control someone else. Just get Stan to wear that and,” hoping down from the console, Susan grabbed the darker tie and handed it Dipper, “wear _that_ tie and you should be golden.”

Dipper peered into the tie that Stan was supposed to wear and stared at the blinking chip inside it with awe. “Whoa! This is amazing! And ethically ambiguous!” Holding both of them up, Dipper beamed up at Susan and Ford. “Thank you Great Uncle Ford. And thanks Susan!”

Already scampering off, Ford waved his hand. “Yes, yes. Use it responsibly and all.” He called after him.

* * *

The next day was the General Mayoral Stumpston Speeches. Susan and Ford, who were blending into the crowd, paused for Ford to peer at the sign on the tree. “’Stumpston?’ It isn’t a word,” he informed her with a frown.

Susan patted his arm. “I think you can manage, Ford.” Hooking her arm around his, she led him down to the front and sat in the row of chairs. “I have complete faith in your brother,” Susan said with a smile to him.

Ford’s eyes widened. “Really? _I_ don’t even have faith in him.”

She laughed. “The twins are going to get him to wear the tie.”

Nodding, Ford relaxed into the chair. “See, they’re using it responsibly.”

Tyler, one of the mayor runners, came out on stage to give his speech. Susan smiled widely at the sight of him. He was just so sweet looking. “Education, get it. Prosperity, get it. A Gravity Falls we can be proud of, get iiiiit!” Seeing that his speech, which was pretty short, was done, everyone clapped and Susan joined in.

“What? That’s it?” Ford complained with a frown.

Susan just rolled her eyes. “Relax Ford. Not everyone has long speeches,” she pointed out. “Now hush, your brother is in.”

For indeed, Stan was. Now standing at the podium that Taylor had left, Stan Pines looked out at the crowd and grinned. “Hiya there! Stan Pines here. Let's get real. Do you think the women of Gravity Falls wear too much makeup?” Suddenly, as the crowd shifted uncomfortably and Susan palmed her head, a switch seemed to turn in his head and Stan straightened. “Uh, what I meant to say was: you ladies all look great. And have you done something with your hair? Girl, you are _working it!”_ And then Stan snapped his fingers.

In the audience, most of the females in the crowd started to nod, agreeing with what Stan was saying, though it had nothing to do with politics. “That is exactly what I needed to hear right now,” a woman near Susan commented with a firm nod.

“Whew!” Whipping his brow, Stan started back up with his speech. “I'm Stan Pines. You may know me as the guy who accidentally let all those bees loose in that elementary school a few years back.” Like when he had commented on the women’s makeup, there was a shift in Stan itself and then he was speaking once more. “But I believe in things. America. Freedom. Ameri-freedom! Like my opponent pointed out, I may not have a pretty face, but if you want a candidate that will listen to you, well, I'm proud to be all ears.” Beaming at the crowd, there seem to be another switch in control of the tie and Stan suddenly cried out, “Now, watch me break it _down!”_ As the crowd cheered at him, Stan break danced on the stage and then got up and wandered to the back stage.

“Come on! Let’s go congratulate the kids!” Susan said. Grabbing Ford, she basically dragged the man backstage and then stood, waiting as kids took pictures with Stan.

Seeing her, Dipper tapped Mabel on the shoulder and the two hurried over. “Great uncle Ford, the tie worked!” Dipper cheered, beaming.

Mabel nodded. “Wasn’t my breakdancing skill amazing?”

Ford seemed thoughtful. “Stan sounded amazing. You guys could run for office when you’re older if keep it up,” he remarked.

Dipper seemed to nearly squeal, but a calming hand on his shoulder from Mabel calmed him down to the point where he was just shaking a bit. Susan turned to Ford. “Don’t give him a heart attack, hun.”

Ford laughed and gave Susan a hug. “Alright kids. We’ll be in the basement if you need us.”

* * *

It turned out the kids needed them about a week later. Dipper, his eyes wide, came running down to the basement with Mabel hurrying behind him. Ford, who was sitting in his usual chair writing in the journal with Susan sitting on the console in front of him, just talking to him while ruffling his hair, both jumped at the sight of the kids.

“What’s wrong?” Susan asked.

“Dipper and Grunkle Stan had a fight!” Mabel reported while giving Dipper a glare and a frown.

Dipper sighed. “He called our advice stupid so I ended up telling him about the tie. He gave it back to us.” Holding out the tie, Dipper stared down at his feet. “Sorry great uncle Ford.”

Ford looked at the tie. “Is there anyone else you can use it on?” he wondered, not taking the tie back as Dipper clearly wanted him to.

Dipper blinked at the question. “Well...Mabel and I thought about Soos but since it’s your tie-“

“Soos? The mole rat?” Susan asked.

Mabel frowned. “Soos is sweet!”

“And a blank slate,” Ford murmured. “Excellent idea Dipper. Soos is perfect.”

Dipper beamed at the praise Ford gave him. Turning to Mabel, he grabbed her hand. “Come on! If we hurry, we’ll be able to get this tie on Soos and enter the election!” And the two ran out. Even as they were gone, Susan and Ford could still hear Dipper’s excited, “Did you hear that?! The Author complimented me!”

* * *

That afternoon, Susan and Ford sat in the crowd, both holding a bag of bird seed. Around them, people talked excitedly to themselves, so very ready to elect a mayor. Stan was still high in the ranking, though Susan had a belief that that was going to change soon. Right after him was Bud, who everyone seemed to like but not love.

“Welcome all to the final debate in what sure to be on a cosmic scale a forgettable blip in human history,” Shandra, the reporter who had announced the mayor’s death, greeted everyone.

Next to Susan, Ford nodded. “She’s right, you know,” he muttered to her as the Bud, Stan, and the newcomer Soos came onto stage and moved behind the podiums that were set up.

Susan just nodded as a bell rang and Shandra announced the start of the debate. “First question. What's your position on axes! Wait, I mean...taxes!” A man with a booming voice that was only amplified by the microphone asked.

Stan grinned at the question. “Easy! Taxes are the worst. I propose we stimulate the economy by waging wars on neighboring cities. We. Have. The cannons.” Obviously the crowd didn’t like this and they booed loudly. Blinking at the noise, Stan took a step back. “What? Uh...” shaking his head, he looked desperately down at his cue cards.

“I don't know much about taxes, but I can promise you a kitten in every pot!” Soos cried out, beaming. But then, he pointed accusingly to the right. “That doesn't make sense, Mabel.” He then pointed right back to the left. _“You_ don't make sense, Dipper!” And the tie sparked.

Susan and Ford exchanged worried looks. “I’m going to go check on them,” Susan murmured.

Ford squeezed her hand. “Do you want me to go with you?” he asked.

Susan shook her head. “Keep watching. Maybe Stan will get better.”

Getting up, Susan made her way through the crowd and backstage. Finding the kids, she crossed her arms. “Are you guys alright? Because Soos just had an argument with himself about his tax policy of giving kittens to everyone.”

Dipper and Mabel exchanged ashamed looks. “Sorry about that,” Mabel said softly.

“Yeah, sorry,” Dipper echoed.

Susan shrugged. “Why are you saying sorry to me?” Before they could answer, Susan held up a hand. “Do you hear… _singing?”_

The trio poked their heads around the curtain to see Bud Gleeful singing, “Oh crime is bad! Crime is oh-so bad! Vote for Bud and there ain't gonna be no crime! Crime's bad. Vote Bud.” If that wasn’t bad enough, though his voice alone made Susan want to plug her ears, he was also strumming a small guitar.

“You may now throw your bird seed!” At Shandra’s command, the crowd all threw their bird seeds into Bud’s box.

Pulling their heads back around, Susan, Dipper, and Mabel exchanged worried looks. “We're getting eaten alive back there! Since when is Bud been...creepily adorable?” Dipper asked.

Mabel nodded. “I don't know! It doesn't make sense!  He's almost acting just like...like...”

“Wittle ol' me,” At the voice that was unfamiliar to Susan, Dipper and Mabel gasped loudly and turned around to see Bud walking towards them with a screen in hand. On the screen was the image of a young boy with _huge_ white hair and a creepy evil grin that went well with the creepy southern accent he seemed to have.

Not one to be taken advantage of easily, Susan grabbed her gun and pointed it at Bud. “Is that Gideon?” she asked Dipper and Mabel, who nodded wordlessly.

Gideon laughed. “I’ll get to you later,” he said in a dark voice before turning to address Mabel and Dipper. “Hello there, long time no see! Except in my revenge fantasies where I see you on an hourly basis.”

“Have you been controlling Bud this entire time?” Susan asked while subtly shifting the twins behind her. She knew that Stan or Ford would never forgive her if anything happened to them. And honestly, she would never forgive herself either. They were sweet and she would always protect them.

Gideon rolled his eyes. “And it seems you've been controlling Stanford!” He laughed. “I figured it the both of y'all. You've got much eviller since I last saw you. And more prone to guns. Who’s the lady?”

“Susan. I’m their…aunt,” she informed them. Truly, her being called their aunt was a bit of a stretch. She wasn’t related to them by blood and she and Ford weren’t married, though they fully intended to once they found the time. Still she technically wasn’t Dipper’s and Mabel’s aunt, but Gideon didn’t need to know that.

“Oh, did Stan get married. I wasn’t invited since I’ve been in _jail!”_ His voice rising to a shout by the end, Gideon glared at the twins.

Susan shook her head. “No, I’m with Ford.” Gideon blinked at the name. “His twin brother,” Susan added in. Briefly, she considered putting in that Ford had written the journals, but from what Dipper had told her about how Gideon knew about the journals, she decided to keep that knowledge to herself. Gideon already hated the family, he didn’t need another reason.

“Enough of this. Daddy!” Snapping his finger, Bud started to walk towards them.

“Bud, you need to stop,” Susan said, readying her gun.

In response, Bud slapped Susan in the face _hard,_ causing her to fall to the ground and gun to slide out of her hand. Reaching for it, Susan groaned as Bud kicked the gun away. Grabbing Dipper and Mabel with one hand and Susan in the other, he started to drag the trio off.

“Let go of us!” Mabel cried out, struggling along with Dipper and Susan.

Ignoring them, Bud carried them up from the stage to the top of the memorial that was being built in the mayor’s honor. Despite all of them struggling, which logically should have overpowered the man, Bud somehow was able to tie the trio up with their backs to fireworks.

“Behold, your grand view of the debate! Once I win this election, I'll finally rule this backwoods town!” Gideon cried out gleefully.

Mabel glared at him. “You'll never get away with this, you creepy little dork!” she shouted at him.

Gideon grinned at her. “Oh, I'd be happy to spare you Mabel. If you agree to be mine. I even made you this wedding dress in crafts class!” he suddenly frowned and leaned closer to the screen. “Don't ask what it's made of,” he requested in a whisper.

Mabel shook her head and made a face of pure disgust. “Eww, I'd rather die, you creep!”

Not getting what he wanted, Gideon glared at Mabel. “Fine! Have it your way. Once I win, they'll hit the plunger for the fireworks display, finishing the mountain's construction, trapping y'all inside. I've been trapped behind concrete all summer, now see how you like it!” Susan, who had been struggling it the bonds ever since Gideon had started to address the twins, stopped and closed her eyes. “Say hello to the next mayor of Gravity Falls, kids, and Susan! Muwahahahahahaha!” And then Bud left along with Gideon, the boy’s laughter echoing long after he had left.

Susan struggle in the bonds. “It’s going to be alright,” she reassured the kids as they too struggled. “I’ve been in some tight situations before. I’ve always gotten out.” What she didn’t mention was that all those times she had been a tight situation, she had Ford with her, and Ford was a genius. As similar to him as Dipper was, the boy was no Ford. She just hoped that if she was truly going to die, she would be able to save the kids…somehow.

“Heh, yeah. We’re just tied to a bunch of fireworks that are going to explode….oh my god we’re going to die!” Dipper cried out, and then started to hyperventilate”

“Focus Dipper! If we all don’t start yelling then we _will_ die.” Susan snapped, her eyes closing briefly to control the small tremor in her voice that she could hear.

Dipper nodded and took a breath. “Alright,” he breathed.

Susan smiled slightly, though it was short lived. “We need to get closer to that opening. Otherwise no one will be able to hear us. If we’re lucky, then the nose might act as an amplifier and our cries will echo.”

The twins nodded and started to move in the bonds along with Susan. The trio made it to the nose of the memorial and started to cry down to the debate. “Help! Help us!”

“We're tied to a bunch of fireworks!”

“Please help!”

Trying to move forwards, they fell out of the nose and hung their by the rope, still tied up. What made this very bad situation worse was that the rope that Bud had used was very old and already starting to fray. With the added strain of two kids and an adult woman hanging from it, the rope was quickly fraying and clearly would not last long.

Faintly, Susan thought she heard Stan yell, “Kids!” and someone else, probably Ford, yelling her name, but she had more on her mind as the rope nearly split above them, causing Dipper and Mabel to gasp in horror. “Susan, what do we do?!” Mabel screamed.

“I don’t know!” Susan yelled back. “Try not to move! The rope might hold long enough!”

“Long enough for what?!” the twins yelled back together.

“Ford and Stan!” Susan cried out.

For, across from them, Ford and Stan had climbed up one of the many towers by the memorial and leapt from the tower to the top of the nose of the memorial. They couldn’t have come at better time, because just as the landed on the nose, the rope split in half and the tied up trio started to fall. But, as Susan knew he would, Ford lunged forwards and grabbed the rope. Also jumping forwards, Stan grabbed the rope and helped his twin brother pull the rope that was binding the trio together.

“Grunkle Stan!” Dipper and Mabel cheered together at the sight of Stan.

Instead of cheering for Stan, Susan just breathed, “Ford.” Somehow, Ford heard her and he grinned down at her.

“Susan,” he breathed back.

Rolling his eyes and grumbling something about them being too sappy, Stan started to address the kids. “Kids! Look, I'm sorry I was being stubborn. I guess being the town's hero wasn't enough. I wanted to be yours too.”

Mabel sighed. “ We're sorry, Grunkle Stan. We should've supported you, win or lose.”

“Even though you probably would have been arrested without their help,” Susan pointed out.

Stan frowned at her. “I can still drop you, you know,” he remarked.

Rolling her eyes, Susan just waited and kept her mouth shut as Stan finished pulling them up. While Dipper and Mabel embraced Stan, Susan practically leapt onto Ford and hugged him tightly. “I know you would come,” she breathed.

Ford hugged her back just as tightly. “Of course. Try as hard as you want to, but you will never be rid of me.”

Susan grinned and pulled back to study Ford’s face. She had, though she would never admit it with the kids so close, but she had truly thought they were not going to make it out alive, so seeing Ford’s face again, knowing that they did, was just amazing.

Figuring out exactly what she was doing, Ford gave Susan a quick kiss and then turned to his brother, his arm automatically going around Susan’s waist and pulling her next to him. “So…how do we get down?”

Stan blinked at the question. His arms were wrapped around the kids and he clearly hadn’t been thinking about that when he had climbed up to them. “You’re the smart one,” he pointed out. “Can’t you just do some sort of physics thing?”

Ford sighed, “Physics doesn’t work that way, Stanley.” Peering down over the ledge, Ford frowned.

“What?” Susan asked, seeing his face. Moving in next to him, she also peered down. “I don’t see anything.”

“Bud…he’s. Oh no!” His eyes widening, Ford turned to the twins and Stan, Susan standing behind him with a confused frown on her face. “Everyone! Bud is going to blow up the fireworks!”

Stan got to his feet and kicked the fireworks further away from then. Going to the ledge, he wrapped his arms around the kids. “Kids. If I die, make sure I get a bigger tombstone than Ford,” he requested seriously.

Ford and Susan joined them. “If we jump right before the blast then we should be okay,” Ford pointed out.

“But when is it going to go off?” Mabel pointed out.

Ford stared down at the stage, trying to figure out when Bud was going to pull it. “Now!” He decided, seeing the man holding onto the lever.

Stan, Dipper, and Mabel jumped down and then Ford and Susan followed. The group, each hugging each other, fell harmlessly into the pile of birdseeds that the townsfolk had released. Their heads popping up, the group exchanged shocked looks and then started to laugh.

Suddenly, there was a loud caw. They looked up to see the eagle that was supposed to pick the mayor diving straight towards them. Landing on Dipper’s head, which made the boy huff, the eagle kissed Stan on the cheek, which the man looked horribly uncomfortable about.

Seeing this, the townsfolk started to cheer. As the fireworks that Gideon had planned to use to blow them up went off in the sky, the townsfolk cheered, “Mayor Pines! Mayor Pines! Mayor Pines! Mayor Pines!”

Susan grinned at Ford. “You’re mayor, now,” she said with a laugh.

Ford smiled back. “Huh. I guess I am,” he shrugged. “Stan should keep it. He knows the dirty works of politics.”

Susan nodded at that while Stan, overhearing them, shoved Ford jokingly. “It’s good that I know you respect me so much.”

Mabel smiled at the two. “Grunkle Stan, you won!”

* * *

It turned out that he didn’t. Or at least, he was disqualified. When the news report broke, with Shandra of course being the one to say it, Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Susan, and Ford all stared at the TV screen in shock. “WHAT?!”

“Despite winning an overwhelming 95% of the vote, election officials had to disqualify him due to discovery of an extensive criminal record,” Shandra explained.

Stan sighed. “Oh boy.”

“Stanley, what did you do in my name?” Ford asked, his eyes widening. He had never committed a crime in his life! But according to everyone else, he was an almost-mayor who had too big of a criminal record to be in office.

Susan ruffled his hair. “I’m sure it’s not that bad,” she remarked.

“Crimes include shoplifting, teaching bears to drive, a new crime he invented called ‘burglebezzlement,’ first-degree llamacide...”

At the last one, Stan shook his fist at the TV. “That llama knew too much.”

Ford stared at Stan in horror. “You killed a llama?!” He gasped.

Seeing that Ford was getting even more worked up, Susan ruffled his hair once more. “Hey, at least Tyler...Cutebiker is mayor. He’s sweet.”

Suddenly, Ford groaned and Susan looked at the TV screen to see a huge pile of papers that were handed to Shandra. “We will dedicate the rest of this broadcast to listing Stan's crimes,” she stated. Picking up the first paper, she started to read from it. “First-degree thermometer theft. Pug trafficking.” As she spoke, a list of even more crimes, some as normal a pickpocketing while others as outlandish as bingo fraud, scrolled across the screen.

Hurrying forwards, Stan turned off the TV screen with a worried look to the twins. “Whew! At least they didn't list any of the bad ones. On an unrelated topic, I have a lot of cheap pugs and I need to move them fast.”

Ford got up and started to head to the Stan’s room with a muttered, “I knew I heard barking.”

Susan sighed. “I’ll go calm him down,” she told the kids even as Ford yelled Stan’s name in horror. And she ran off.

Behind her, she heard Stan say, “I think we should go. Do you wanna go vandalize Mayor Tyler’s mansion?”

“Yay!”

“He-hey, vandalism!”

Susan sighed and hurried to Ford. She had no idea what she was going to walk in one, but knowing Stan it was going to be shocking. And knowing Ford, he would not be happy. But that was why she loved him. His morals were always strong. And when he was happy, he made everyone happy around him, especially Susan.


	4. The Last Mablecorn

In was the middle of the night in Gravity Falls, Oregon, the so called “sleepy town.” It was supposed to be a quiet place, one that no one went to because there was nothing there. That was not true in the slightest. Gravity Falls was home to the a huge amount of anomalies, some as fantastical and amazing as unicorns and gnomes while others were far, far darker such as zombies. To cash in on the mystical nature of the town, ‘The Mystery Shack,’ stood on the outskirts of Gravity Falls. There, the public owner, Stan Pines, sold cheap junk he had created.

If only the town knew the truth, that the shack was actually owned by Stan’s twin brother, Ford. And that Ford had written three journals documenting his time in Gravity Falls. If only they knew that there was an entire secret level under the shack that held a portal and a glass prism that held a rift that could potentially wipe out the entire universe.

But no one did, so Ford and the woman of his life, Susan, stayed away from the public. They had briefly gotten involved when the town mayor had died about a week back, but Ford had decided that it was simply too dangerous to be in the town. This decision was largely due to the fact that while Susan and Ford had been in public and helping Dipper and Mabel, Ford’s preteen niece and nephew, the two kids and Susan had been kidnapped by Bud Gleeful, who was acting on the order of his insane son, Gideon. From what Ford had gathered, Gideon knew too much about his journals for him to feel comfortable with the boy being near Susan.

However, that was a week ago, and now things had calm down some. There was still a huge amount of tension in between Ford and Stan so Susan acted as moderator along with Dipper, who was the closest to Ford due to how similar to each other they were. As the three of them often worked in the basement while Stan and Mabel stayed upstairs in the shack, it was rather surprising that they were all asleep.

So it was rather shocking when both Ford and Susan woke up in a field of very dying grass. Ford sat up first, his gray hair sticking up in different places as Susan had ruffled it often that evening. But they both could have sworn that they had gone to sleep in their bed. In fact, Ford was sure they had.

Susan, sitting up a few moments after Ford had, looked around the field they were sitting in. “Ford,” she said in a warning voice. “`I don’t like the look of this.”

Ford nodded, his eyes catching on a broken swing set, the portal Susan and he had fallen into, and a ship that, even though he couldn’t see the name of it, he knew was the _Stan o’ War,_ the ship he and his brother had fixed up a life time ago, when everything was so complicated and he and Stan didn’t fight every time they saw each other.

“This has to be a dream,” Susan muttered as she looked down at the dress she was wearing. She had dressed in her usual pajamas of a t-shirt and pants for bed and that dress did not fit her memory.

Next to her, Ford nodded. “But how are we in the same dream?” Susan pointed out.

Ford shook his head. “Maybe you’re a dream too,” he suggested.

“Well I can put that thought I at rest,” Susan said with a shake of her head. “I am most definitely _not_ a dream.”

“And if I’m not a dream...” Ford’s voice trailed off and his eyes widened.

“What?” Susan asked.

Before Ford could answer, though he hoped with everything he had that he was wrong, the grass around Susan and himself flattened against the ground. Ford looked around and hissed as he realized he was right in the middle of a triangle with an eye, a hat, two arms, and two legs. Very slowly, Ford got to his feet. Grabbing Susan’s hand, he half-dragged her up with him, for once not complaining about this action and instead stood up next to him and squeezed his hand.

An insane laughter started to echo around them, and Ford sucked in his breath sharply. “I know that laugh...Show yourself!” He commanded in a voice that was much stronger and braver than he truly felt at that moment.

The source of the insane laughter showed up. Susan’s eyes widened at the sight. She recognized the thing from the drawings Ford had showed her. Bill Cipher. And just like the drawings, he was golden with a slight glow. He had one eye in the middle of his body and a black bowtie underneath it. He also had two arms and two legs, as most things do. The triangle-shaped demon, for that was what Bill Cipher was, also had a black top hat and a black cane.

“Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well!” With each ‘well,’ his voice got louder and multiple copies of Bill Cipher appeared, surrounding the two along with the original Bill Cipher. “Aren't you a sight for sore eye!” he cried out in a surprisingly cheerful voice. “Stanford Filbrick Pines, my old pal! And, you brought a friend, or more than a friend from what I’ve heard. Susan Eliza Moore, the woman who figured out the message of my doomsday. Nice to meet you.”

Ford moved in front of her, his eyes firmly fixed in a glare on the original triangle. “Bill Cipher,” he growled. “Keep her _out_ of this. It’s me you’re after. What do you want?”

“Oh, quit playing dumb, IQ!” The original Bill snapped. A few Bills down, another one floated over. “You knew I'd be back!” he pointed out, and then flicked the man’s nose, which made Ford flinch away and glare at him. “You think shutting down that portal could stop what I have planned?” Without warning, all the Bills joined into one giant Bill that floated above the two. “I've been making deals, chatting with old friends, preparing for the big day! You can't keep that rift safe forever.” Snapping his fingers, a copy of the dimensional rift that Susan and Ford had showed Dipper only a week earlier appeared in his hand. “You'll slip up, and when you do...!” With a laugh, he threw the copy of the rift down and onto the ground. A massive portal appeared in the shape of Bill if he was upside down and started a fire around Ford and Susan.

The two jumped back, instinctively trying to get away from the fire. “Get out of here! You have no dominion in our world!”

Bill probably would have smirked at the two had he had a mouth. “Maybe not right now, but things change, Stanford Pines and Susan Moore.” As if his eye was a mirror, the image of Ford and Susan, their eyes wide and their faces pale in fright, appeared in Bill Cipher’s singular eye. “Things… ** _change,”_** he ended this repeat with a much deeper voice.

With a maniacal laugh, Bill Cipher flew away from the couple. As the field of dead grass burned around them and the dream faded away, Ford and Susan both experienced the same flashes of Ford’s six-fingered hand, one of Ford’s eyes behind his glasses, and what appeared to be an extended version of the Zodiac.

And suddenly, with a jerking start, Ford and Susan sat up in their bed. Both of them breathing hard, the two exchanged horrified looks. Susan leaned over to the bedside table, as she was closer to it, and grabbed Ford’s glasses. Handing them to him, he put them on quickly.

“We have to warn them,” Susan breathed in a weaker voice than usual.

Ford nodded, his eyes fully on his strange, six-fingered hand. “He’s coming.

* * *

It was far too late, or early depending on the person, to go to the family as soon as they had woken up. But as no surprise for either of them, Ford and Susan did not sleep for the rest of the night. Ford spent most of it working all the writings he could into an essay that was understandable and truthful about Bill Cipher. However when Susan read it, she informed him that he should probably rewrite it and leave off the bit about how Bill could kill them all if he wanted to and the specific examples of a situation like that. Ford had argued about that, protesting that they should make sure the kids were as prepared as possible. Susan agreed with that, and she told him so, but she also reminded him that they were _kids._

Of course, she had gotten her way. Ford had rewritten that part of the essay and a few other parts that Susan disagreed with, because according to her, kids didn’t need to hear that they were up against, ‘a demon from the literal pits of hell.’

When it was about eight and the floorboards were creaking above their heads a small bit as a sign of movement, Ford and Susan were ready. Ford grabbed his bag of everything and stuffed the essay along with all his information on Bill into the already full bag. Susan just sighed and grabbed her own bag, which held a spare pen for Ford, a pen for herself, and own journal.

Going into the elevator, the two gave each other a brief smile. Susan took Ford’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “The kids are mature enough to handle it. And if Stan starts getting angry then I’ll _talk_ to him.”

Ford sighed. “We used to be so close,” he muttered. “What happened?” With a shrug, Ford leaned against the wall and quickly left the elevator, Susan behind him, and went into the kitchen. Putting his bag on the table, he placed a few scrolls under his arm for easy access. His journal was at the top of the pile in his bag and Susan was already trying to figure out how much was in there.

“Are you against organization?” she grumbled as she lifted up the journal to find a stack of papers that were wrinkled. Already feeling hopeless, she placed the journal back down.

Ford shook his head. “I’m just bad at it,” he replied. Looking over a few more notes, he snapped the book he had been reading shut and called out, “Family meeting! Family meeting! Family meeting! Family meeting!”

Pleased with himself and his shouting, Ford sat down in the seat behind him and picked up the book. Next to him, Susan sat down as well and started to flip through her journal. She hadn’t looked through the thing in ages and it made her smile, though it was slightly sad, as she remembered just how young they had all been before everything had gone wrong.

Before she could get too sucked into her memories, Dipper and Mabel came into the kitchen. Seeing them before Ford, Susan shut her journal and shot them a grin, which they returned. Then, looking over to see Ford _still_ reading, she sighed and kicked him under the table. He jerked and, looking up, spotted the kids. Putting his book away, he placed the scrolls onto the table. “Ah, children. Come in, come in!” he invited rather needlessly.

Mabel hopped into a chair and instantly started to look into Ford’s bag. “Ooh, mysterious scrolls and potions! Are you going to tell us we're finally of age to go to wizard school?” she asked. Reaching inside the bag, she started to shuffle through it. “Is there an owl in this bag?”

Susan quickly took the bag away from Mabel, not wanting the girl to get hurt by some unknown thing in the bag. “There could be,” she said with a shrug.

“But he’s probably long dead,” Ford cut in, shutting down any smile Mabel was forming at Susan’s words. With a sigh, Susan kicked Ford under the table, causing him to jerk, make a face at Susan, and then turn back to the kids. “Now, children, do either of you recognize this symbol?” he asked, holding up one of the scrolls to show the kids the image of the extended Zodiac, the one Susan and Ford had seen before they had woken, that was on it.

The extended Zodiac had a picture of Bill Cipher in the middle of it and then a circle was around it. However, that circle was then split up into sections, and in each section was a different symbol. Some, Ford and Susan knew for certainty what they were, while others they had no clue. In her journal, Susan had a running list of who could be what symbol, but she and Ford were largely still in the dark about it.

Still, the extended Zodiac was something no one else had known about beside Ford, Susan, and Fiddleford, so when both kids reacted with a gasp of clear reaction, and Dipper _said,_ “Bill,” Susan and Ford exchanged shocked looks.

“You...you know him?” Ford gasped.

Dipper nodded. _“Know_ him? He's been terrorizing us all summer! I have so many questions and theories...”

Mabel, who was so used to her brother’s ramblings, easily cut in, “Dipper's been pretty paranoid since Bill turned him into a living sock puppet.”

“What?!” Susan cried out, her eyes widening. “Does Stan know this happened?”

Mabel shrugged. “I think he was filming the fight I had with Bill when he was in Dipper’s body.”

Susan’s brow furrowed and crossed her arms. A firm scowl was forming on her face as she started to realize that speaking to Stan about how he had been treating these kids this summer was definitely in order. They were _twelve_ and one of them had been turned into a living sock puppet without him knowing!

Dipper’s voice brought her out of her raging, which was very good for the breakable object around her. “The important thing is we defeated him twice.”

Mabel nodded rather enthusiastically. “Once with kittens and once with tickles!”

Dipper sighed. “ It was a lot more heroic than it sounds,” he protested lightly.

Ford frowned at the twins. “The fact that you've dealt with Bill is gravely serious,” he pointed out.

Next to him, Susan nodded. “It means that Bill knows who you are,” she elaborated a bit.

Suddenly, Dipper asked, “So how do you two _know_ Bill?”

Knowing Dipper well enough because he was so like himself, Ford had already come with a satisfactory white lie to answer with. “We’ve encountered many dark beings in our time, Dipper. What matters is that his powers are growing stronger, and if he pulls off his plans, no one in this family will be safe!” At the end of this, Mabel gasped and her eyes widened.

Susan closed her eyes and shook her head. “There is a way to Bill-proof the Shack. Taking out the map of the blueprint of Ford’s lab that they had already prepared, she pointed out the different spots to the twins. “All we have to do is place moonstones here, here, and here, sprinkle some mercury…” her voice trailed off and she frowned. “Ford, what’s the last ingredient? I forgot.”

Ford grabbed the first journal and started to flip through it. Finding the right page, he made a face. “Ugh,” he groaned. “Unicorn hair.”

Susan turned to Ford, her eyes wide. “Seriously?!” she shook her head. “Why don’t we just give up now,” she asked with a groan.

Dipper stared at the couple. “That's not, like, rare, is it?” he asked, anxious about their response to hearing about Unicorn hair.

Ford sighed, “It’s hopeless.” Adjusting his glasses, Ford looked down at the first journal. “Unicorns reside deep within an enchanted glade, and their hairs can only be obtained by a pure good-hearted person who goes on a magical quest to find them.”

With a sudden shriek that made Susan jerk out of her chair and reach for her gun and Ford to jump back and also reach for his gun, Mabel jumped out of her chair and ran in front of the two while Dipper stayed seated with a look of mild annoyance at the fact that Mabel had literally screamed right next to him. “Grunkle Ford, Susan, can I _please_ go on this quest? I am literally obsessed with unicorns! My first word was "unicorn," I once made my own unicorn by taping a traffic cone to a horse's head.” At this statement, Dipper hit the palm of his hand against his head and Susan could have sworn she heard him muttering something about being banned.

Still, Mabel kept pleading. “Are you even _looking at the sweater I'm wearing right now?!”_ She cried out with a motion to her sweater, which was bright pink and had a unicorn on it. “Not to mention that I'm _probably_ the most pure of heart person in this room.”

Susan and Ford had to nod at that last statement. “She makes a valid point,” Susan said.

“I can't argue there,” Dipper agreed with a shrug.

Mable looked up at the two adulted. “So can I go on a mission to get that hair? Please please please? I'LL GIVE YOU MY _BLOOD!”_

Susan, her eyes wide, quickly nodded. “Yes, yes you can go. For god’s sake, though, don’t give us your blood!”

Mabel whooped and hugged Susan, who awkwardly patted her on the back. Once Mabel had released her, Ford handed the girl the first journal. “It won’t be easy,” he warned. “Take this,” he added in as he handed a _crossbow_ to the girl.

“Oooh!” Mabel cried out while staring at the deadly weapon.

Susan shot Ford a glare, who shrugged. “It's okay to give children weapons, right?” he wondered lightly.

Very slowly, Susan shook her head. “No,” she grounded out. “It is _not_ okay.” Huffing, she turned to Mabel. “I’m going with you,” she stated. “If Bill is truly after us then I want to make sure you have someone with you. Besides, the woods aren’t safe.”

Mabel shrugged. “Come on, dawg,” she agreed. And then, she somehow shot the crossbow directly out the window, which shattered it, and hit Stan’s car with the arrow.

Instantly, Stan’s car alarm went off, and the older man cried out, “AH! IT'S THE COPS! GUN IT!”

Susan sighed and turned to Ford. “Be safe,” she said in a soft voice. Giving him a quick hug, she turned and followed Mabel out of the shack.

“Candy, Grenda, Wendy, clear the afternoon!” Mabel was already shouting into her phone.

Susan sighed and hurried after her.

* * *

The group of girls all met in the woods. Mabel had handed Susan the journal and she had been casually flipping through it, a faint smile on her face as she remembered finding some of these creatures with Ford. When Mabel had prompted her into the discussion, she had closed the book and said hello once more to Grenda, who was the large, deep voiced friend of Mabel’s. She also met Candy, who was a very strange Asian girl, and Wendy, who was apparently a worker at the Mystery Shack and really didn’t take no for an answer.

The group of five started to walk through the woods, Susan using the crude map in the journal as a reference. The younger girls were very animated about the idea of meeting an _actual_ unicorn, but Susan and Wendy were fine with walking in peaceful silence.

“It's nice to finally be out on a mission, just us gals!” Mabel cheered while turning around to flash a grin that was just so bright that Susan and Wendy had to return it.

Grenda seemed to not agree. “Forget the gal talk! I'm here to meet, touch, and/or become a unicorn!”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” Susan muttered, a bemused expression on her face. Mabel certainly had entertaining friends.

“I hear if you lick a unicorn's neck, it tastes like your favorite flavor in the world!” Candy cheered in a soft voice.

Susan shook her head. “That is definitely not true.”

Wendy laughed lightly. “You sound as if you believe they’re real. Honestly, I stopped believing in unicorns when I was like, five years old,” the ginger shrugged. “I’m just here to make sure those kids don’t step in a bear trap.”

“Oh no, unicorns are real,” Susan agreed. “They’re just horrible creatures.”

Wendy raised an eyebrow and looked over at the kids before she lowered her voice a bit. “Are they dangerous?”

At the question, Susan’s hand automatically went to her waist to check that her gun was indeed there. “We’ll be fine,” she promised in a soft voice. “Despite my age I have some tricks up my sleeve.” Looking down at the journal, the black haired woman grinned and called out to the girls in front, “Guys, we’re in the magical part of the forest. Hang on a moment!”

The trio of girls who had been walking in front rushed back. Mabel went over to Susan’s right and peered at the page of the journal. “Let's see, the gnome tavern is over there, the fairy nail salon is over there, but where’s the unicorns?”

Susan read the page quickly. “’One must bellow this ancient chant droned only by the deepest-voiced druids of old,’” she recited with a frown. “I don’t think anyone has the type of voice necessary-“

“On it!” At Grenda’s cry, Susan let the girl take the journal and start to read the chant that was written down carefully in Ford’s pen ship. “Oy-oyoy-oyoyoyoy...”

As the girl chanted on, Wendy leaned over to Susan with a small smirk on her face. “I bet you ten bucks nothing happens.”

Susan arched an eyebrow. “I’ll take that bet. Easy money,” she replied with a shrug.

To the left of the older woman, Mabel gasped and pointed ahead. A literal fortress was rising from the ground. Giddy with excitement, Mabel took Candy’s and Grenda’s hand, the latter shoving the journal back to Susan, and ran to the door. The trio pushed open the doors to the fortress as Susan and Wendy walked after them. The younger girls stepped inside first and Wendy and Susan followed. The group of five stared at the sight ahead of them.

“The paintings airbrushed on the sides of vans were true!” Mabel squealed as they stared at the piece of heaven that they had walked into. Fairies were dancing about, the landscape was a lush green, and there was a rainbow in the sky that had not been outside. Suddenly, a unicorn, its mane rainbow, stepped into the gleaming sunbeam that was shooting down onto the ground. It neighed loudly and rather gracefully and its horn sparkle in the sun.

“Mother of mothers!”

“Queen of dreams!”

“No way.”

Not saying or doing anything except for smirking, Susan held out her right hand, and Wendy sighed but handed her a ten dollar bill. The older woman quickly pocketed it and placed the journal on the inside of her cloak.

Throwing her head back and then moving it forwards, the unicorn seemed to only _now_ notice them despite the fact that the five girls had been standing there for at least a few moments. “Hark! Visitors to my realm of enchantment!” the unicorn cried out a lilting voice.

Mabel gasped and then started to jump up and down. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! What's your name?”

“I am Celestabellebethabelle, last of my kind. Come in, come in. Just, take off your shoes. I have a whole thing about shoes,” the unicorn introduced.

With a frown on her face as Susan took in the animal’s words, she crossed her arms but after a moment took off her own shoes along with the younger girls. When Wendy refused to, Susan sent her a sharp look and hissed, “If we don’t then we might not get the hair.”

Wendy huffed at that but took off her own shoes as well. Now that their shoes were by the door, the group of five walked up to the unicorn. “Celestabellebethabelle, we have journeyed far and wide—“ Mabel started in what sounded to be like a bad impression of a knight.

“About an hour!” Grenda put in oh-so-helpfully.

Mabel ignored her. “On a mission to protect our family with your magical hair!”

There was a plopping noise as Candy, who had somehow silently moved to the side of Celestabellebethabelle, fell into the little stream next to her. Susan shook her head. “There is an evil in the world that our family is in danger from. We require a lock of your hair to help protect our home.”

The unicorn seemed to ponder what Mabel and Susan had said for a moment. “Very well. To receive a lock of my enchanted hair, step forth, girl of pure perfect heart.”

Beaming, Mabel took a step forwards. “ Presenting: bum buh da bum bum ba bum bum!” and then the girl knelt. “Mabel!” she finished with a cry.

However, Celestabellebethabelle turned up her head at the sight of Mabel. “What? You? A unicorn can see deep inside your heart, child.” Her horn glowing, she pointed it at Mabel’s chest to reveal the girl’s heart, which was a dark black instead of the red that a pure of heart person should have.

Mabel covered up her chest with a cry of “Whoa!” and then she shook her head, almost as if to deny what the unicorn was saying.

“And you have done wrong. WRONG I say!” Celestabellebethabelle cried out.

Mabel frowned and looked down at the ground. “I guess I _do_ make fun of Dipper a lot. And I _did_ just shatter a window with a crossbow,” she admitted in softer voice than usual.

However, the unicorn wasn’t done yet. “Your bad deeds make me cry.” To drive this point further, Celestabellebethabelle’s eyes welled up with tears and one rolled down her cheek and hit a flower, killing the plant instantly.

“NOOO!” Mabel screamed as Wendy rushed forwards and helped the girl to her feet with a glare thrown to the unicorn for good measure.

The unicorn just tossed her head. “Come back when you're PURE OF HEART. NEEEIIGGGHH!” As the group of five exited, Celestabellebethabelle called after them, “Exit is that way. Shoes, shoes, take your shoes. This isn't some...some...shoe store.”

As soon as they had left the fortress, the doors closed behind them. The group instantly turned to Mabel, who looked _so_ sad at what the unicorn had said that Susan’s heart nearly broke. “Don’t let what that pesky horse said get to you,” the black haired woman said in a soft voice.

“Yeah, don’t let it get to you!” Grenda echoed.

Wendy nodded and crossed her arms. “Yeah, I wouldn't trust a horse that wears makeup.”

Mabel, however, shook her head. “No, girls, she's right. I used to be one of the sweetest people I knew, but recently I've been slacking in the whole goodness department. Well, today we're gonna fix it. From this moment forth I'm gonna do so many good deeds, I'll have the purest heart in Gravity Falls!” At the end of her speech, Mabel punched her arm into the air and accidently knocked a bird that happened to be flying overheard. The group watched as the bird crashed to the ground. “That...that bird is fine.”

“I’m sure it is,” Susan agreed with a small nod.

* * *

Having walked out of the forest, the group circled in on one of the main sidewalks in Gravity Falls. “Alright, Mabel, it's time to strengthen your heart,” Mabel said with a grin.

What followed was one of the weirdest days that Susan had ever lived through, and she had been in an apocalypse! Mabel seemed intent on following some crazy list she had written up on her way out of the forest and it was just…odd. Still, Susan followed Mabel as she: moved snails from the sidewalk to the grass, dug a hole and then plopped a tree into it, putting a giant smiley face sticker onto Stan’s face while he was sleeping, donating several pints of blood and then promptly fainting, stopping traffic for ducks to cross, paint glitter on the statue of Nathanial Northwest, fill up Lazy Susan’s tip jar, and help a woman with her groceries.

Of course there were many, many more that Mabel did, but Susan found that they had all run together and was leaning against the wall, breathing hard, when the younger girl cried out, “Boom! A thousand good deeds!” All the girls cheered and Susan joined in weekly. “When that unicorn scans my heart, she's gonna say I'm absolutely, one hundred percent, bona fide-“

* * *

“Not pure of heart!”

They were in the fortress once more and Susan was about to strangle the unicorn. Candy, Grenda, Mabel, Wendy, and Susan had walked into the fortress with Mabel shouting out how she had completed a thousand good deeds and that Celestabellebethabelle needed to scan her heart because it _had_ to be pure now. She had stood in front of the unicorn and closed her eyes as it pointed her horn at her and announced the state of her heart.

What made the entire thing even worse was that it took a moment for it to register in Mabel’s eye and she had already jumped up in the air and shouted, “Booyah!” when it hit her. Dropping down, she stared at the unicorn with wide eyes. “Wait, what?”

“How is that even possible? Mabel's a straight up saint, you judgmental hoofbag!” Wendy snapped at the unicorn, which caused Susan to place a hand on her shoulder to try and calm her down.

Ignoring the red head, Mabel threw herself to her knees in front of the unicorn. “Please, tell me what I'm doing wrong!”

Celestabellebethabelle sniffed judgmentally. “Doing good deeds to make yourself look better isn't good at all. Not to mention you're crushing, like, ten dandelions right now. Those are basically children's dreams.” With a horrified gasp, Mabel leapt off the dandelions and stared at the unicorn. “I'm sorry, Mabel. It's not my fault you're a bad person,” it just had to say.

Wendy, Grenda, and Candy gasped while Susan sent a furious glare at the animal. However, it was Mabel’s reaction which was the worse. Shaking her head, the girl ran off sobbing.

“Mabel, come back!” Susan shouted after her. With one last glare, she turned and ran after the girl, leaving Wendy with the other two.

Mabel, however, ignored her and flopped down onto the grass outside, her face buried in it. Shaking her head, Susan sat down next to her and placed a hand on her back. “It’s okay,” she soothed. “It’s just a dumb horse with a horn and the longest name ever.”

Hearing the footsteps of the girls, Susan looked over to see them all looking very angry about the treatment of their friend. “Can’t we just do something else to protect the shack?” Wendy asked.

Susan nodded and gave Mabel a smile, though she didn’t see it. “Don’t worry Mabel, we’ll think of something that doesn’t involve stupid unicorn hair.”

At this, Mabel sat up and shook her head. “It's not about the hair anymore, guys. It's about me. Being kind and sweet is what makes me who I am. If I'm not a good person, who am I? I'm not leaving this spot until I think of a deed that makes me as good as Celestabellebethabelle.”

“But, Mabel…” Candy protested.

“Just leave me be,” Mabel said with a shake of her head.

Getting to her feet, Susan motioned to the other girls to follow her. They quickly did and formed a bit of a huddle around her. “This is so completely and utterly a sham. I’ve worked with unicorns before and they _never_ said anything about being able to test if you’re pure of heart.”

Wendy frowned. “Why didn’t you say something about it until now?” she asked rather crossly.

“I wasn’t sure, but this has gone too far. Now she’s hurt Mabel.” Susan shook her head. “We’ve tried to do it the ‘good’ way but that hasn’t worked. Now it’s time to do it _my_ way.”

“Are you suggesting violence? Sabotage?” Grenda asked excitedly.

Candy frowned slightly. “Mabel's not going to like that.”

“Mabel doesn’t have to know,” Wendy pointed out.

Susan sent her a grin that was perfectly wicked. “Exactly. We’re going to do things dangerously and we’ll get what we want because we’re woman, and that’s what we do!”

“Yeah!” The other cheered.

Susan smirked and got out the journal. “Now, here’s the plan…”

* * *

Their first stop was the gnome bar, Gnasty’s. Wendy kicked down the door with a growl and the group marched in, Susan and the red head crouching some while Grenda and Candy stood up to their full height. Susan was pointing a gun at the gnome who had yelled, “It's the cops! Hit the deck!”

Moving her gun off of the terrified gnome, she pointed it around. “We need someone who can take down a unicorn!”

“No tricks or games!” Wendy added in with a growl.

Grabbing a bottle, Candy smashed it. “We are human! We take what we want!”

“Yeah!” Grenda shouted.

A gnome in a dark corner was the one who spoke up. “Fairy dust. A whole magic bag's enough to put a unicorn out cold. But if I do you a favor, you gotta do somethin' for me.”

Susan stalked over and knelt in front of the gnome so she was about eye-level with the gnome. “Spill it, half-pint, or else I’ll move my finger,” she threatened as she placed her gun on the table, still pointing it towards the gnome.

The gnome stared down at the weapon and then shrugged. “Butterfly trafficking is illegal in this part of the forest, but I like butterflies. They tickle my face and make me laugh. Bring me a bag of butterflies and we got a deal.”

Susan looked behind at the girls, who gave a firm nod. Turning back to the gnome, she nodded as well.

* * *

Grenda was the one who did the deal because her voice was the loudest. Susan handed her the bag of butterflies she had caught and made sure the girl was ready. Going out into the planned clearing, she stood there in a black hoody and handed the gnome the bag.

“Two bags of fairy dust, just like we agreed,” the gnome replied while handing the two bags to Susan.

Grenda weighed the bag carefully and then looked over at the gnome. “Where do you get this stuff?”

“Everyone likes sausage, but no one likes to know how it's made.”

Grenda shook her head and scoffed loudly. “You disgust me.”

The gnome rolled his eyes. “You got your poison; I got mine; we made a deal.”

“Yeah, well, the deal is OFF!”

The signal shouted out, a group of gnomes that were also policemen ran out into the clearing and circled around the guilty gnome, who was shaking his head and protesting, “These butterflies aren't mine! I swear! I've been framed!”

The policeman who had grabbed him and was now handcuffing the gnome just rolled his eyes. “Tell it to the adorable owl we've dressed as a judge.” Pushing the gnome to one of the others, the policeman turned to Grenda and held out his small, gnome hand. “My cut,” he requested.

Grenda nodded and handed the gnome one of the bags and then walked to Susan. “We did it!” she said in her normal voice, which was a shout for most people.

Susan smirked. “Now comes the fun part.”

* * *

It was easy to sneak past Mabel who was still writing down good deeds to do. Not paying her any attention, Susan opened the girl door and waved the other girls in before walking into the fortress and closed the door behind them. Taking a childish joy in keeping her shoes on, Susan tossed the fairy dust onto the unicorn who was reading ‘Whinny, Pray, Trot.’ Breathing it in and then shaking her head, the unicorn cried out, “What the hey?!”

Seeing this, the faun who had been playing such nice music before started to nervously play S.O.S. in Morse code on his pipes. With a quick nod from Susan, Grenda went over and knocked the faun out with a cloth.

Susan and Wendy made their way over to the sleeping unicorn. Wendy took the hair and held it out while Susan took out some scissors and was about to cut the hair off when Mabel burst through the doors and cried out, “No wait! Stop!”

Wendy turned and shook her head quickly. “Mabel! Shh! You'll wake her up!”

Mabel hurried forwards and took the scissors from Susan with a pained look on her face. “But this is wrong, guys!”

Susan sighed and knelt down in front of the girl. “But protecting Ford, protecting yours and my family, is _right.”_

Before Mabel could reply, the unicorn got up and stared at the girl in horror. “What? Doth mine eyes deceive me? Thief! You shall never be pure of heeeaart!”

Mabel fell back and casted the scissors away. “No! You don't understand! I just want to be good like you!”

Everyone froze at a new voice calling out, saying, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, you gotta be kidding me.” A blue unicorn with a more masculine voice then Celestabellebethabelle trotted in along with a red unicorn. “Yo, C-beth, are you seriously pulling this "pure of heart" scam again?”

The red unicorn nodded. “That is messed up, man.”

Susan crossed her arms and faced the new arrivals. “Scam?” she asked in a surprisingly calm voice given how angry she actually felt.

The red unicorn shrugged. “Unicorns can’t see into anyone’s heart. All our dumb horns can do is glow, point towards the nearest rainbow and play rave music.” To show them, his and the blue unicorn’s horn glowed and started to briefly play rave music.

“Yeah, the whole ‘pure of heart’ racket is just a line we use to get humans to leave us alone,” the blue unicorn said once they were done.

Celestabellebethabelle looked down at the ground and shook her head slightly. “Guuuyys. Shut uuupp.”

Furious at how they had been played, Susan turned to see how Mabel was reacting. To her surprise, she seemed completely frozen. After a few seconds, Mabel seemed to tear herself out of whatever she was feeling and _ripped_ up the notepad she had carefully written good deeds on. “All this time. All this time I thought I was a bad person. But you're even worse than I am!” Practically shaking, the girl threw the book down in front of the unicorn, causing her to be forced to see the ‘Mabel Sin’s’ which Mabel had written down. Behind the girl, Candy, Grenda, and Wendy gasped and Susan raised an eyebrow.

Celestabellebethabelle huffed as if this was all just _too_ much for her. “Okay, fine. So you learned our secret. We're jerks, okay? We have more hair than we know what to do with, and we keep it to ourselves just to tick humans off.” She shrugged and then leaned forwards. “What are you gonna do about it, huh, huh? What are ya gonna DO?” the female unicorn taunted.

In answer, Mabel reared back and then _punched_ the unicorn squarely in the face.

“Nice punch, Mabel!” Susan cried out gleefully.

“WHOO! Go Mabel!” Wendy cheered loudly.

“Join the dark side!” Grenda added in.

Growling, Mabel ripped the unicorn that she had carefully sewn onto her sweater. This action prompted the younger girls to start to chant, “Fight, fight, fight!” and Susan, with a shrug, joined in.

Celestabellebethabelle backed up and joined her unicorn friends, who looked utterly bored but would clearly fight alongside her. “Oh. So it's a fight you want. Well, then it's a fight you're gonna get!” she declared loudly.

Susan took out her gun and, along with the others, started to yell as the charged the neighing horses for what was going to be a very, very, long and drawn out fight.

* * *

So very pleased with their success, Susan and Mabel walked into the shack, arm in arm. “You did will, Mabel,” Susan praised with a grin to the younger girl.

Mabel beamed and looked back at Candy, Grenda, and Wendy, who were carrying their spoils. “Yeah, I did,” she agreed. “ _We_ all did,” she corrected in an afterthought.

Susan grinned at her. “Seriously though, I can’t believe we got it,” she said with a slight smirk as she made sure that they walked directly past Dipper and Ford, who were sitting and drinking Pitt Cola.

“Got what?” Ford asked, his eyes wide as he eyed the treasure chest which was overflowing with jewels. No one answered as Grenda, Wendy, and Candy placed it on the table and Grenda made sure to show off her new unicorn eye lashes. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Ford breathed.

Susan grinned and nodded to Mabel, who held up the unicorn hair they had gotten. “Did someone say ‘unicorn hair?!’”

Dipper and Ford blinked and even Susan looked a bit confused. “No…?” Susan asked in an unsure voice as if she thought it was a trick question.

Mabel blinked at the question. “Oh yeah, sorry. I wasn’t paying attention. I was trying to get the unicorn tears off my face.”

Susan nodded sagely, as if this was a normal answer, and promptly handed the girl a rag. “Use this,” she offered.

Mabel wiped off her face and then handed the unicorn hair to a confused and stunned Ford. “Here ya go.”

Ford stared down at the rainbow locks and shook his head. “How did you…” shaking his head once more, he ruffled Mabel’s hair. “You did very well today, Mabel. You helped to protect your family. You’re a good person.”

Mabel just shrugged. “Thanks, Grunkle Ford, but today I learned that morality is relative.”

Having heard them come in, Stan took one look at the jewels on the table and snatched it up with a cry of, “MONEY!!”

No one really knew how to react to that as Stan ran off with the spoils.

* * *

Later that night, long after Dipper and Ford had put up the barrier around the shack, Susan and Ford were sitting on the bed. They had cleaned up the mess that Ford and Dipper had made earlier when Dipper had placed the helmet on Ford’s head and Ford had ended up acting as if he was possessed so that he could see if he could truly be trusted. The answer was very simple to Ford. Yes, he could be trusted.

“What happened?” Susan asked softly. She had seen the burn on the floor where a laser had hit it and she knew it had to be from the memory gone.

Ford sighed. “I told him everything,” he admitted.

Susan bit her lip. “My part?” she asked in a low voice.

Ford shook his head. “Never,” he vowed.

Susan just lowered her head and placed it in her hands. The shame was hitting her harder than usual. “I should never have gone to that cave,” she breathed.

Shaking his head, Ford sat down next and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “Susan…you had no way of knowing.”

“I summoned him!” Susan protested, her voice cracking in her emotion. “And instead of going for me, as he _should_ have, he went for you! I practically signed a death warrant for you!”

As her emotions overcame her, Ford wrapped both arms around her and started to rock her slightly as she sobbed. “Susan, I know you blame yourself. I know you think that it’s your fault. But it’s _not._ You couldn’t have known.” Susan shook her head wordlessly. “I love you, Susan. And I do _not_ blame you in the slightest and I trust you.”

He held her like that for the rest of the night.


	5. Roadside Attraction

It had been a few weeks since they had put the barrier up around the shack, and each and every night Susan had bad dreams. At first, she thought they were just nightmares, but as the same dream repeated every time she was able to sleep long enough to dream, the black haired woman started to get worried.

It always started out the same. She was in the garden that Celestabellebethabelle lived in. The group of girls, Grenda, Candy, Wendy, and Mabel, were all charging the three unicorns along with her. The three unicorns, naturally, started to charge back. Now, when that had actually happened to the group of girls and Susan, they had won and the unicorns ended up begging them to go. But that wasn’t what happened in the dream.

Susan watched as Grenda, Candy, and Wendy died. She had screamed out their names when they had fallen, and the horrified shock that she felt was echoed on the girls’ faces. She would then, always, turn to Mabel just in time to see her too die. An accusatory look was in the twelve years old eyes and it stayed there even when she was dead, her body turning pale from her blood leaving.

Susan would always fall to her knees and just look at the girls’ lifeless bodies. She was supposed to protect them! Ford had trusted her…and she had failed. In her dream, Susan sobbed helplessly as the unicorns ran off, refusing to kill her. They rightly assumed that killing her would be too nice. This way she would have to live with herself. She would have to live with Ford knowing she was a failure, knowing that she couldn’t do something like protect a few kids. She was worthless, and he would know that. He would always know and he would _never_ forgive her and-

“Susan! Susan please, please wake up! Susan!!”

Susan bolted awake with a cry. Her black hair was stuck to her forehead, which was slick with sweat. There were tears she could feel sliding down her face. She was a right mess. Looking about, she saw Ford’s anxious face peering at her. She looked at him and then down at his six-fingered hand that was clutched around her upper arm.

“Susan,” Ford repeated, though this time it was a sigh of relief and not a worried-filled shout. “You were having a nightmare.” He left out the ‘again,’ but lingered in the air.

Susan gave Ford a grateful smile, but didn’t speak. What would she say? She already knew what Ford would reply with if she ever told him about what happened in her dreams. He would tell her that he loved her, and he would never think she had failed him. But those were just words, and words could never make up for the image of a horrified and broke Ford that haunted her, because that image would be because of _her._

“I think you, and the children, would benefit from a trip,” at Ford’s startling statement, Susan’s head whipped around to look over at him. Her mouth opening to protest, Ford quickly held up his hand. “I’ve looked into unicorn hair and it should be able to leave an imprint on the kids. No one will be possessed if we leave.”

“But Bill could possess someone and take over the shack with them,” Susan pointed out quickly.

Ford shook his head. “Bill could do that even if we are in the shack.”

Susan sighed. “So what are you going to do? Tell Stan we need to leave for a bit and take the kids too?”

“I actually overheard Stan talking the other day,” Ford started slowly. “He’s going on a pranking trip and I think him bringing the kids and us along would help a great deal.”

Susan crossed her arms. “And if something bad happens?” she pushed.

Ford shrugged. “Something bad could happen even if we stay,” he pointed out. “This way at least we have some fun.” Ford’s brow furrowed with concern and he placed a hand on her shoulder. “You _need_ this, Susan. These nightmares are not healthy and I’m worried about you.”

Closing her eyes as Susan felt the tiredness from nights of jolting awake taking their toll, the black haired woman nodded. “Alright,” she agreed, “I’ll do it.”

Ford grinned and kissed her softly on the nose. “Go to sleep, Susan. I’ll talk to Stan in the morning. For now, you need to rest.” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “I’ll watch over you,” he vowed.

For the rest of the night, Susan slept fitfully, but at least she slept.

* * *

The next afternoon, Susan stood outside along with the kids. For two people who had _not_ wanted to go spend time outside, Dipper and Mabel seemed remarkably happy standing the sun along with her, watching as Ford, Stan, and Soos loaded up the RV Stan had from his time running from the law. Mabel had held up her hand to act as a shield and kept making comments when Soos was carrying her bag. Apparently, Waddles’ food was in there and if it spilled then Mabel would _not_ be happy.

“Don’t forget bug spray,” Susan put in to Ford as he surveyed the RV.

Ford held up a bottle of bug spray with a grin. “After that time running from those giant mosquitoes, I never go anywhere without it,” he stated proudly.

Susan grinned, though it was strained. Despite having tried to calm her about the entire trip, she didn’t feel like it was a good idea at all. If the unicorn hair failed, or if Bill somehow possessed them anyways, or if the kids got injured, or _something_ then she would never forgive herself.

Not noticing how worried Susan was, which was making his own brother nervous, Stan came over to the kids with a map of the state of Oregon. “This year we're visiting every tourist trap along the Redwood Highway, and I'm gonna prank back every single one,” the man explained.

Grenda and Candy, Mabel’s friends, suddenly walked out from the shack with huge grins on their faces. “Bow wow! Time to let the road dogs bark!” Grenda bellowed, which made Susan smile despite her grim attitude.

The exact opposite of Grenda, Candy gave a soft smile. “That is us. We are the road dogs,” she agreed in a quiet voice.

Mabel beamed at her friends and the turned to Stan. “Thanks for letting me bring Candy and Grenda along for our road trip, Grunkle Stan.”

Stan just shrugged. “The more the merrier. Just sign these non-disclosure agreements. None of your parents are lawyers, right?” Asking questions about the girls’ parents’ jobs, Stan led Candy and Grenda into the RV.

Ford turned to Dipper, Mabel, and Susan. “Now, as I’ve already said to Susan, we have no reason to worry about Bill. The unicorn hair has been around us long enough to leave an impact.”

Dipper nodded sagely, his hand he wrote with shaking slightly in a way that Susan had seen many times on Ford, he clearly wanted to write down everything Ford was telling him and then ask the man a million other questions about the unicorn hair.

Mabel, on the other hand, just nodded and then turned to Dipper, a shoebox in her hand. “When I was helping to pack your stuff I went to the trouble of getting the stuff you kept in that secret box under the bed.” Holding it out to her embarrassed brother, the twelve years old girl accidently dropped the box. The lid popped off and pictures of a ginger that Susan recognized to be Wendy spilled out onto the ground. “Whoa. What the...? Ugh, _what's that?”_

Blushing scarlet, Dipper started to scramble to pick up the photos. Not wanting to make him even more mortified, Susan nodded to the RV. “We’ll just be over there,” she said. Grabbing Ford by the hand, she quickly led the man along with her so that they were outside the vehicle.

“I still don’t think this is a good idea, unicorn hair or not,” Susan stated as soon as they had both stopped.

Ford sighed and shook his head. “I promise you, Susan, Bill Cipher will _not_ be getting ahold of us.”

“How are you sure?” Susan hissed, her voice dropping some as she glanced around to see if Dipper and Mabel were watching. Seeing that the twins were not, she let her voice raise a bit in volume. “Bill Cipher is a dangerous demon and he could _kill_ those twins. Should we really risk _unicorn hair?”_

Reacting to her worry as he always did, Ford took Susan into his arms and hugged her tightly. “It’ll be okay, Susan,” he promised. “Let’s just forget Bill and focus on having a fun, okay?” Pulling back some, he used two fingers to lift her chin up so she would meet his eyes as she had been refusing to do so. “Can you do that, Susan?”

Susan slowly nodded. “I’ll try,” she said in a soft voice. “But I can’t make any promises.”

“As long as you try your best, we’ll be good.” Giving her a soft peck on the lips, Ford turned to the door of the RV and opened it. Gesturing for Susan to step inside, she hesitantly did so. Sighing slightly, Ford turned and called over the twins. “Dipper! Mabel! Come on! It’s time to go!”

At his summoning, Dipper practically sprinted to the RV while Mabel shook her head and followed at a much slower pace, a calculating expression on her face.

* * *

They drove off without a hitch, a rare thing for any of the adults in the car. Stan was driving and Soos, who had also come along but had not been noticed until Ford nearly sat on him, was sitting in the passenger seat next to Stan and was sticking his head out the window. If that wasn’t odd enough, he was also allowing his tongue to hang out and he was _panting_ as if he was a dog. However, Ford was used to Soos, or at least used to him being weird, so he decided to ignore it and instead sit with Dipper on the two seats facing each other. Dipper seemed to be happy while reading a book he had brought so Ford just watched Susan.

The black haired woman was sitting at the table along with Mabel, Grenda, and Candy. She had a slight smile on her face, but the more Ford analyzed it, the more he knew that the smile she wore was a fake one for his benefit. He sighed and shook his head, he would have to talk to her at the next stop.

Unaware of Ford’s eyes on her, Susan let her smile drop for two seconds as she looked over at Mabel, who was quickly writing something on a notepad with a sparkly pink pen. Before she could ask the girl what she was writing, she close the pen and flipped the notepad shut before pocketing both. Then, the twelve year old gave the brightest smile and Susan smiled back.

“I am so excited!” Mabel said with a grin.

Grenda nodded from across the table. “RVs are amazing. I can't believe we're sitting at a table in a moving vehicle!” the girl cried out with a loud voice, and then slammed her fist down on the table for emphasis on this belief.

Seeing a stack of paper, Candy grabbed it and flipped through them. “Ooh! Informational travel pamphlets.” Oddly enough, the girl pressed the pamphlets to her cheek and then sighed. “I want to read them all and gain their travel knowledge.”

Overhearing from the front, Stan called back to them, “Kid, those useless pamphlets have never helped a single person. The only wrinkly old travel guide you'll need is me. Now look alive! We're coming up on an attraction run by the most black-hearted proprietor in all of Oregon.”

Looking out the window, Susan’s brow furrowed as she saw a sign on the road. “’Granny Sweetkin’s Yarn ball?’” she read off with frown.

Ford looked over at his brother. “That doesn’t sound like a black-hearted person,” he noted. “Just what have you done to this person, Stanley?”

Ignoring him, Stan pulled into the parking lot for the yarn ball and ushered everyone out of the RV after some well-placed threats. The group stared up at the ball of yarn, which was giant and…well…made out of yarn.

“I don’t know what I’m staring out,” Susan admitted with a frown. Sharing this belief, Ford nodded.

Mabel, however, felt differently. “I'm going in, girls. Waaah,” the cry echoing back, she ran in and jumped into the ball. Giggling, Candy followed. And then, with a bellow of her own, Grenda leapt into the yarn ball as well.

Susan looked over at Ford, who was watching the yarn was a carefully guarded expression. He looked over at her and their eyes met briefly. Both said nothing for two seconds and then promptly fell into laughter. The black-haired woman had to admit, it felt good to laugh and just be carefree after so long of being stressed out.

When the two were done, Susan wiped a tear from her, though this was tear from mirth, and gave Ford a grin. “That felt really good,” she admitted.

Ford nodded. “See, the trip is helping.”

“The trip _isn’t_ helping me,” At Dipper’s grumble, the two turned to see the boy wiping ice cream off of his hand and onto his shirt.

“What happened?” Susan asked, a frown on her face.

Ford, however, simply said, “Girl troubles?”

Dipper stared at the man with wide eyes. “How did you-“

“Dipper, I’ve had a bunch of food dumped on me. I recognize that look.”

His eyes widening, the twelve year old boy eyed his uncle for a long time. Before he could respond, the walkie talkie Stan had forced Dipper to bring and spoke over it. “Dipper, stop talking to my brother and his girl and hup to! This ball a' yarn ain't gonna prank itself.”

Rolling his eyes, Dipper went over to the ball and tapped on it, causing Mabel to thrust a strand of yarn out for him. Taking it, he dragged it to the RV and tied it to the back bumper. His shoulders slumping, he got into the RV.

While he was in there, the trio of girls popped out of the yarn ball and Mabel and Grenda high-fived. Turning around, the three started to unravel the yarn. Susan shrugged and went over to the ball and started to help, and, also with a shrug, Ford went over and started to help the girls as well.

The walkie talkie Mabel had been carrying suddenly crackled to life. “Everyone! Now!”

Hurrying to the RV, Susan yanked open the door and ushered everyone inside. Hoping in herself, she called over to Stan, “Drive!” Not waiting to be told twice, Stan slammed his foot down on the gas and he sped off. The girls and a less sullen Dipper ran to the back of the RV and peered out the window. The kids let out a cheer as the yarn ball completely unraveled.

* * *

They drove for about an hour until they got to their next destination. During the drive, Mabel, Dipper, Grenda, and Candy all spoke in softer tones because anytime there voice rose above a whisper, Ford would glare at them and then subtly shift Susan’s sleeping body.

When they arrived and Susan had been gently shaken awake, Stan held open the door to the RV to reveal the upside down house that was their destination. “Ah, Upside-Down Town. The nausea capital of the state. Whatever you do, don't use the bathrooms.” All the kids beamed widely as they ran out of the RV and started to prepare to go into the upside down house.

Ford took Susan’s hand and the two followed at a leisurely pace.

“So do we just put Velcro on our shoes and hope for the best?” Susan asked while eyeing the process the kids were going through to get into the attraction.

Ford nodded slowly. “It appears so.”

Sighing, Susan waited for the wheel the kids were standing on to turn upside down and for the kids to move off it and into the house. Once they were gone, Susan got onto the carpeted wheel and started to put the Velcro on the bottom of her shoes.

“Demons, unicorns, gnomes, but this I draw the line,” Ford grumbled, but he still put the Velcro on.

Rolling her eyes, Susan took Ford’s hand and the two held their breath as the wheel turned. The Velcro worked, thankfully, and the two looked down to see the ground above their heads.

“This…this is weird,” Susan admitted. Ford could only nod.

The couple walked slowly into the house. Each step, the Velcro ripped up and they both held their breath in worry that the Velcro would fail and they would fall onto their heads. But they didn’t, and they were able to make it into the upside down house.

Inside, the ceiling, which was the floor to them now, was carpeted. Objects were bolted down onto the floor but appeared as if they were the wrong way up due to the effect of standing on the ceiling. Around them, people walked around with wide eyes and gaping mouths, though some did look a bit green.

Susan looked around and quickly spotted Mabel, Grenda, and Candy walking through the house along with everyone else. Nodding to them, which earned her a huge wave and a smile from Mabel, the black haired woman started to look around for Dipper. She quickly spotted the boy. It took her a bit to realize what he was doing, but when she did, she gasped loudly.

“What?” Ford asked urgently, her gasp setting off alarm bells in his head. “Is something wrong?”

Shaking her head, Susan pointed wordlessly over to Dipper. Ford looked over at the boy and grinned. “He’s flirting!”

“He’s _twelve.”_ Susan stated. “He’s too young to be flirting!”

“I think it’s great. He’ll build confidence!”

Susan sent Ford an astonished look. “He’s twelve,” she repeated.

Ford nodded slowly, “I am aware of the age of my nephew.”

Susan growled and crossed her arms. “I’m going to go talk to someone who has a brain,” she grumbled. Without a backwards look, she headed over to Mabel, Grenda, and Candy.

“Susan!” Mabel cried out happily. “Isn’t this amazing?”

The black haired woman nodded and plastered a smile on her face. She didn’t want to make the girls awkward by alerting them to Dipper’s flirting. Nor did she want to upset them by revealing that she and Ford had had a fight.

So instead, she said, “Oh yes! Really just amazing.”

Mabel beamed and grabbed her hand. “Come on, Susan! The gift shop has upside down EVERYTHING!”

Before Susan could get another word in, she was dragged by Mabel to the gift shop. The brown haired girl was freaking out over all the upside down things, and it truly seemed that the store had an upside down item for everything.

Letting out a sigh, Susan leaned against the side wall by the entrance and closed her eyes; She was just starting to wonder if she should have stayed in the RV and napped when the sound of Dipper whooping and then dropping down next to her made her open her eyes some.

“Hi there Aunt Susan,” Dipper greeted in a… _different_ voice.

Susan raised an eyebrow. “Aunt Susan?” she asked while her eyes zeroed in on the writing on Dipper’s arm. It seemed that the girl he had been speaking to wanted a way to contact him.

In response to her question, Dipper just shrugged. “That’s what I’m gonna call you now.” Dipper did a twirl and winked at his sister. “Mabel, hi. There's my Grenda. Candy, looking great, looking great. Is that a new pair of glasses? Very shiny.” Grinning, he laughed loudly and then walked out of the shop.

“Maybe it's the blood pooling in my head, but Dipper seems different,” Grenda boomed, and then groaned and fell onto her head as she had been standing on the ceiling of the shop despite it being right-side up.

“Yes. Good different,” Candy said while blushing a dark red.

Susan shook her head and checked her watch. “Mabel, Grenda, and Candy, _we need to go,”_ she ordered. Stan had told them all that if they were in any of the attractions then he would still do his prank.

As if to add to her order, Stan yelled from somewhere outside, “Now, Soos!”

Hurrying out of the shop, the four girls sprinted into the RV to watch as Stan and Soos finished flipping the house from its upside-down state to a state that resembled a normal house. Ford, who looked horrified at the destruction that his brother had caused, yelled at him as they headed into the RV. Stan just rolled his eyes and got into the car with Soos getting into the passenger seat, and Ford, still grumbling to himself, slumped in a seat.

Choosing to not talk to him just yet, Susan sat with the girls at the table while Dipper went up to Stan and proceeded to show off the email he had gotten from the girl.

* * *

What followed was a trip of pranking that Susan was not proud that she joined in. They went to Log Land and set beavers on the attraction and then they went to Corn Maze and poured weevils into the maze. And throughout the entire time, Dipper flirted, Ford argued, and Susan was not there to calm the two siblings down.

But since dusk was setting in and the tourist attractions were closing down, Stan drove the RV into Septic Ridge RV Park and parked it for the night. Instantly, Stan went into the hot tub that was set up there and Dipper, with a shrug, joined his great uncle.

Ford gave Susan a mournful look as he set a fire up for Mabel, Grenda, Candy, and Susan to sit at. Susan tried to ignore the look, she truly did. She was not in the mood to talk to the man, but another sad look made the black haired woman quickly excuse herself and go over to Ford.

“Susan,” he sighed. “I’m so, so sorry.”

The black haired woman held up a hand as she saw that he was about to go into a long-winded apology that would leave them both standing there the entire night. “I forgive you, Ford. And,” Susan took a deep breath before blurting out, “I was wrong as well.”

“What?” Ford blinked at her almost owlishly.

“I was wrong. I mean, look at Dipper.” She nodded over to the boy who was sitting in the hot tub with his great uncle and was laughing at something the older man had said. “You were right. Dipper is much more confident and…it’s just harmless flirting.”

Ford stared at Susan for a long moment. “Yes,” he finally said. Reaching up, he fiddled with his glasses despite them not being crooked in any way.

Shaking her head but still smiling fondly at him, Susan leaned forwards and kissed Ford on the lips For a much longer time than she usually did, when a noise that sounded like a cat get strangled came from somewhere in the distance.

Susan pulled away, horrified at the noise. “What was _that?”_

“Coyotes?” Ford suggested with a shrug.

Nodding, Susan leaned back in the couple shared another long kiss.

And this time, they were not interrupted by any weird coyote noises.

* * *

The next day, they were driving through the mountainous highway. Susan was laying her head on Ford’s shoulder, Dipper was sitting up front with Stan, and the trio of girls were whispering to each other at the table.

“Alright, campers. We got another day 'a breakin' laws and breakin' hearts. Everything up until now has been a walk in the park compared to our next attraction,” Stan called back to the group.

“Is it a walk in the world's biggest park?” Mabel asked eagerly.

Stan shrugged at that. “Eh, sort of,” he admitted. For the next few moments, they drove in silence, until Stan called out once more, “There she is, kids. Mystery Mountain. Five times the size of the Mystery Shack, and what's worse: she has real attractions.”

Candy jumped in her seat at this and pulled out a travel brochure and flipped through it briefly, her eyes widening even more behind her glasses. “Oh! I have read about this place. It has sky tram. And a mummy museum. And sight things of half human, half spider creatures.”

Stan shook his head. “Even their made up legends are better than ours. Today, the mountain falls.”

“Question. The back seat makes me car sick. Can I sit up front today?” Mabel suddenly asked.

“Also question. I'm the size of two people. Can I have a whole seat to myself?” Grenda boomed along.

Susan and Ford exchanged surprised looks as Grenda moved in front of them and Mabel pushed Dipper out of his seat before Stan could even finish saying, “Eh, I don't know, sure.”

“Whooo! Change up!” Mabel cheered as she forced Dipper into the back.

Due to how the car was set up, the only other seating arrangement was at the booth, and Dipper quickly realized that. “But wait! That means it'll just be me and—“ he protested even as he was pushed into the booth next to Candy.

Susan had to hold back a laugh at the sight of the boy blushing and starting to clam up as Candy introduced herself with, “Candy Chiu! 6th grade!”

“Whoa! Hey,” Dipper swallowed and looked away.

Shrugging, Susan laid her head back down on Ford’s shoulder and the two sat in silence along with the forced couple until Dipper suddenly _squeaked,_ “              You're sitting close.”

Susan looked up to see that Candy indeed _was_ sitting close and Dipper was starting to press himself against the wall on the booth.

“So, Dipper. I was wondering, would you maybe want to walk around the Mystery Mountain with me today?” Candy asked suddenly.

Dipper swallowed hard. “Ssssure, I mean, wasn't that already the plan?”

Candy shook her head. “I mean, just us. You and me. Candy and Dipper.”

Before Dipper could respond, and if Susan had to guess by his shocked expression the answer would a firm ‘no,’ Stan slammed on the breaks of the RV, nearly throwing Susan out of her seat if it weren’t for Ford wrapping his arms quickly around her, but judging by a loud bang and a “My face is okay!” from the front, Grenda was not so lucky. Ignoring this, Stan practically leapt out of the RV, leaving Ford and Susan to be the ones to lead the kids out.

“Alright, road dogs! I got five bucks for whoever can tip the big blue ox! Go, go, go!” Grinning, Mabel and Grenda hurried off.

Candy turned to Dipper. “I will see you in there!” she giggled and then blushed before leaving as well.

Dipper stared after her, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly hanging open.

Susan turned to Ford with a worried expression in her eyes. With a sigh, he nodded and started to go over to the tween, but Stan got their first. “Hey, what's up with the mopey mug, kid?” Stan asked while clasping his hand on Dipper shoulder. Briefly, his eyes met Ford’s and he shook his head. Despite all their arguing, the two men wanted what was best for the kid, so Ford backed up and went back over to Susan.

“He’ll take care of it,” he said in a low voice.

Susan crossed her arms and moved in slightly so that she was able to hear Dipper saying, “Stan! You gotta help me! Everything you taught me worked too well! I think Candy just asked me out on a date!”

Stan grinned. “He-hey!” He punched Dipper in the shoulder and nodded in approval. “Look at this little champion!”

“What? No! I-I mean, Candy's great, she's sweet and she's smart, but I've never thought of her like that! Th-th-this is all moving way too fast.” Seeing the boy start to get work up, Susan started to head over as he sat down on the bench and shook his head. “Okay. I just need to be honest with her and tell her I-I'm not ready for all this.”

Stan laughed and shook his head. “Don't you see what's happening here? That's your dumb obsession with Wendy gettin' in the way of your future! If you wanna move on, you've gotta say yes to whatever comes your way.” Looking behind him and seeing Susan, Stan sighed and started over to the ticket booth. “Speaking of which...” she heard him say.

Rolling her eyes, Susan sat down next to the upset Dipper and gave him a smile that he didn’t return. “Dipper…I think you should try this date with Candy. At worse, you can say that you work better as friend.”

Dipper blinked at this. “But…I don't wanna lead her on!” he protested.

“Then don’t,” Susan replied with a shrug.

Suddenly, with a girl that had a cheap fake tan and short shorts and a tight tank top hanging onto his arm and laughing loudly at every word he was saying, whether or not it was funny, Stan came over and hissed to Dipper, “Take my advice or don't, but _clearly_ I know what I'm doing.”

Dipper watched forlornly as Stan headed off with the girl.

* * *

In the end, Dipper decided to go on the date with Candy, which led Susan and Ford watching as the two entered Mummy Town U.S.A. However, it seemed to not go so well because, only about ten minutes after the date had started, it seemed to end abruptly with Candy storming out of the museum and heading over to Mabel and Grenda, who led the girl off to speak with her about what had happened. Moments later, Dipper ran out, his eyes wide as he scanned the group.

“Great-uncle Ford! Susan! I messed everything up!” the boy cried out as he ran up to the couple.

Ford and Susan exchanged worried looks and then both looked down at the kid. “What happened Dipper?” Ford asked.

“I was talking to Candy and then all the girls from the tourists traps came…and…and…” Dipper shook his head. “Where’s Grunkle Stan?” He’ll know what to do!”

Ford seemed taken aback by the question, so Susan answered for him. “The last time that either of us saw him was when he headed off with that girl who works here.” Dipper’s face fell and he started to look around widely, as if Stan might pop out of a shrub. “We could always ask someone else. Stan certainly stands out.”

Brightening up, Dipper hurried off to, if Susan had to guess, the direction of the information stand that was at the entrance. With a sigh, Susan quickly followed, which truly left Ford no choice but to follow the two.

“Uh, have you seen an old guy around here? Uh, big ears, orange nose…” Dipper was asking. His voice trailed off near the end of his sentence as he tried to think of any other things to describe Stan with.

“A real know-it-all?” Ford suggested, which made Susan shake her head.

Wordlessly, the bored teenager at the desk pointed to an animatronic that was proudly displayed as Fire Retardant Raccoon. “Ah, ah, ah! Flame Retardant Raccoon says: don't hug forest fires,” it advised.

Shaking his head and groaning, Dipper walked over to the very entrance and looked out at the RV in the parking lot with Susan and Ford joining him on either side. “I need his advice!” Dipper moaned. “Stan was the one that got me into this mess!” From his bag, a blast a static came, which made Dipper pause and then take out the walkie-talkie and stare at it. “Grunkle Stan?!”

“Heeey, buddy boy. So remember how we were talking about my technique? Well, sometimes it leads to unexpected consequences,” Stan said from over the machine.

Dipper nodded at that. “Yeah, you can say that again. Where are you?”

“The good news is, I've solved the mystery of where Oregon's mummies come from. The bad news is...” Stan sighed, “...I'm about to become one. Turns out Darlene is one of those spider people. But beyond that, the date's been okay.”

“What?!” Ford grabbed the walkie-talkie from Dipper and glared at it. “Darlene’s a spider person? Who is that _possible?!”_ Gleefully, Ford turned to Susan and beamed. “Imagine if I was able to study her-“

“Great-uncle Ford!” Protesting loudly at his behavior, Dipper took the walkie-talkie back. Susan, however, just whacked the man on the back of the head, making him wince and rub the wound with an injured expression on his face.

“I’m going to choose to ignore that, Ford,” Stan grumbled over the walkie-talkie. “Anyways, one minute Darlene and I are having the perfect date, and the next minute she's growing extra legs and encasing me in webbing. Women, right?”

“How could you not tell that she was a spider?” Susan asked from over Dipper’s shoulder.

“I was blinded by flattery! Also, this acid she spit in my face,” Stan sighed. “I'm up the mountain at Widow's Peak.”

Dipper shook his head. “Alright, we’re gonna find you. Stay put!”

“And keep Darlene there as well…if you can!” Ford added in, only for Dipper and Susan to both give him looks. “What?” he asked.

Over the walkie-talkie, Stan snorted. “You got it.”

Putting the walkie-talkie back into the bag, Dipper looked around. “Where are the girls?”

Susan sighed. “Probably with Candy.”

Dipper’s face fell. “We could probably do this by ourselves…” he suggested weakly.

Ford placed a hand on the twelve year old’s shoulder and leaned down so they were eye level. “Dipper,” he said in a soft voice. “We need your sister and her friends. So you’re going to have to be brave.”

Dipper sighed. “If you think so…” his voice trailed off

Susan nodded. “I do.”

* * *

It turned out the girls were very easy to find, and it was all because of Grenda’s voice. “There, there! Let my calming voice soothe you!” she cried out.

Just be following that, the trio were able to quickly find the girls. Looking back at Susan and Ford desperately, Dipper took a deep breath and then hurried towards his sister, Grenda, and Candy while Susan and Ford stayed behind.

“Girls! There you are,” Dipper said instead of greeting.

Mabel jumped to her feet and pointed her finger at her twin. “Betrayer!” she cried out.

Candy looked up and scowled at the twelve year old. “Oh, you. What do you want?”

Dipper sighed. “I need your help,” he admitted.

Candy glared at him. “With what, some sick jealousy trap?”

Smirking in a not-so-nice way, Mabel high-fived Candy. “Yeah, sing it, Candy!”

“Testify!” Grenda agreed.

Dipper looked down and then back at Ford and Susan. Ford gave him a thumbs-up and nodded while Susan just nodded. Smiling slightly, Dipper turned back to the girls. “Look, I'm so sorry about everything. But Stan's in trouble! You can totally kill me later, but right now he needs us. I'll explain on the way.”

Beckoning the adults over, the group took off with Dipper and Ford hanging in the back and Susan right in front of them. “How did I do?” Susan heard the boy ask.

“It’s a start,” Ford replied, “And that’s always good to have.”

* * *

The group ran through the mountains with Susan leading by using a little miniature map she had picked up. They successfully headed into the cave that Stan was being kept and started to run towards him to get him down from the cocoon of webbing he was in, but before she could shush the girl, Grenda yelled, “Mr. Pines!”

Stan turned in the webbing to see the group and he beamed. Grenda, with another yell, ripped through the webbing that was holding the man up, causing him to fall to the floor. “Quick! Before the rest of the venom sets in!” Stan warned as he started to try and tear through the webbing. Dipper, Mabel, and Candy hurried forwards and started to help him out of the webbing.

Once he was, the group ran for the entrance. By the sounds coming from behind them, Darlene, the spider-lady, was about to be hot on their heels, for she had just wailed, “No! Where are you?” And then, she started to crawl after them.

“The sky tram! Everybody on! I have a plan!” Candy instructed, and with no other option in sight, the group hopped into the Trambience and slammed the door.

Mabel beamed. “Haha, yes!” She cheered.

“Perfect!” Grenda boomed.

“Ride like the wind, sky tram!” Stan cried out just as the sky tram lurched and started to go…very, very, _very_ slowly.

Susan stared at Candy. “You’re plan was this?!” She snapped.

Candy did not reply, which just left an awkward silence that was interrupted with: “Welcome to Trambience, the world's slowest treetop tram ride. Enjoy the sights at 0.1 miles per hour.”

At the speed limit, Grenda started to repeatedly stop her feet on the floor of the car. “Move, move, move!”

“No it can't. This is Trambience,” the recording said from before.

Peering out the window, Susan felt her blood run cold as she saw the spider-lady mid-jump to the top of their sky tram, and then, judging by the thud that came, Darlene had successfully made it. “Enjoying the view?” The recording asked. “Take a picture!”

Darlene’s spider head suddenly appeared upside-down outside of the window that Susan was next to, causing the occupants of the tram to yell and Susan to scream and scramble back until her back was against the tram wall on the other side.

“We're doomed!” Stan yelled.

“We're all gonna die!” Dipper added in.

Candy, however, took out her pamphlet. “Listen carefully! This sky tram has an emergency drop switch. Below us is Oregon's largest Paul Bunyan statue! And Old Reliable goes off in 5...” Moving to the wall, she checked her watch. “4...” she placed her hand on the lever.

“Candy…” Susan warned in a low voice.

“Kid, are you crazy?!” Stan snapped.

Ignoring them, Candy continued to count down until she cried out, “Now!” And then, Candy pulled the lever.

For a moment, it felt as if they were still connected, but then Susan felt her stomach drop, and then they were falling. Somehow, Susan and Ford grabbed onto each other and Susan automatically placed her face in the crook of Ford’s shoulder and neck. They stayed in that position as the tram fell and then got hit by what had to be Old Reliable, which sent them rocketing through the air and then, with a thud, it landed on the surface of Mystery Mountain itself and then started to roll down along with several rocks, all of which hit the ticket booth and Paul Bunyan statue. There was a snap from outside, a loud creak, a thud, and then a wail before everything was still.

“My only weakness! A giant boot! A giant newspaper or a giant cup would've also been pretty bad,” Darlene complained from outside. Ignoring her, Ford kicked down the door of the tram and helped the group out. They all straightened and surveyed the damage. Darlene was stuck under one of Paul Bunyan’s boots, her legs splayed.

Stan turned to Candy with a grin. “Kid, that was ingenious! How'd you know that would work?”

“Useless travel pamphlets,” Candy said smoothly.

From under the boot, Darlene suddenly whined, “Staaaannnyyy...” Everyone turned in time to see the spider-lady pull the human top over her head, making her look just as she did before. “I'm sorry. I dunno what came over me. You'll let me out, right?”

Stan stared at her, his mouth falling open a bit. “What?! After all that? Seriously, do I look like an amnesiac?”

Darlene just laughed. “You're so funny. Have you ever considered becoming a comedian?”

Stan blinked at the spider-lady. “You know, I actually have. Comedy is too subtle these days. My style involves more over-sized props.” The man started to walk towards her. “Here, let me get you out from there—“

Ford, realizing that his brother wasn’t joking and he was actually going to _help_ the spider-lady, grabbed his brother by the arm, spun him so that he was facing him, and punched him in the face. Stan stumbled back some while behind him Darlene growled angrily and her false face fell off. Stan turned and frowned.

“Oh, yeah. Right.” He turned back to Ford, who was smirking smugly. “Thanks,” Stan said gruffly.

Ford just waved his hand.

Darlene, however, was not as pleased with the outcome. “You win this round, Stan! But mark my words, as long as there's men like you out there, with their dumb one-liners and pickup moves, I'll never run out of prey!” Surprisingly, she started to spit acid at Stan’s feet, causing him to hop back.

“Aah! Get the car, get the car!” Stan cried out.

Not needing to be told twice, the group ran into the RV and Stan tore off with Dipper joining him in the front seat. Susan and Ford took their usual seats in the back and the girls sat at the booth. Ford looked over at Stan and Dipper to see them talking and he sighed.

“Go and talk to him,” Susan suggested with a shrug as she watched the twelve year old wipe the numbers and emails of all the girls he had met.

Ford shook his head. “I’m not good with that sort of stuff,” he admitted. “Stan was always better.”

Susan gave him a small smile. “And yet you have me,” she pointed out, “And Stan doesn’t.”

Ford chuckled lowly. “The idea of you with Stan…you’d kill each other in two seconds.”

Susan rolled her eyes. “You mean he’d _try_ to kill me and I _would_ kill him.”

Ford had to nod at that, and the two fell into a comfortable silence until Dipper walked past, a small pamphlet in hand. Susan raised an eyebrow at him and then watched as he went over to Candy. “Hey,” he greeted her. “I found a pamphlet I don't think you've read yet.” With a sincere but awkward smile, Dipper handed the girl the pamphlet.

Candy took it and read it over before looking up with a smile on her face as well. “It's okay, Dipper. The open road makes people do crazy things. Plus, after seeing you flee that spider like a baby, I kind of lost interest.”

“Yep! Yep. I deserve that,” Dipper said almost wirily with a shake of his head.

* * *

As the group drove into Gravity Falls, the kids cheered. Stan rolled his eyes but even he seemed more pleasant than usual as he dropped Candy and Grenda off before driving to the Mystery Shack.

“I still feel a little bad about wrecking those tourist traps,” Dipper admitted.

Stan shook his head. “Ah, come on. Everyone loves my pranks! And the best part is, I never have to face any consequen--SWEET LORD!” The RV jerked to a stop and Stan scrambled out with Ford, Susan, Dipper, and Mabel quickly following. The group stared in a mixture of horror and shock at the sight of the Mystery Shack, which was in the process of being ruined.

The owners of the other tourists traps, it seemed, did not like the pranks that Stan had pulled, so they had taken revenge. They had all converged on the Mystery Shack and were spray painting it, breaking the windows, and generally making it a mess.

“Aw, come on!” Stan whined.

Suddenly, a man who was dressed like a corn and therefore was most likely from the corn maze, came over with a baseball bat and smashed one of the RV lights. “That's what you get! That's what you get!” he shouted before he and all the other owners ran off.

Stan stared at the Mystery Shack in shock. “I don't understand. I completely don't deserve this.”

Dipper just sighed. “Oh, man. Are we gonna have to help clean this up?”

“Couldn’t the gopher do it?” Susan wondered, which made Mabel frown at her. “What? I’m bad with names.”

_“Soos,”_ Mabel said pointedly, but she then nodded. “I’m sure he’ll do it.” She frowned and looked around at the group. “Where is Soos, anyway?”

 


	6. Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future

Susan was cooking breakfast when she heard the high-pitched and girly scream from upstairs. She hummed lightly to herself and just continued to whisk the scrambled eggs she was making. At the kitchen table, Ford looked up briefly from the newspaper, which he had grabbed from his brother while declaring that the subscription was under _his_ name so it was _his_ by right.

Stan briefly popped his head into the kitchen and looked around before heading upstairs with Soos following him. Susan, noticing this out of the corner of her eye, brought the temperature of the eggs down some. If the kids were going to take a long time then she could relax a bit.

“Did you catalogue this morning?” Susan asked as she went over to the table to grab a chair to bring by the stove.

Ford frowned. “Was it my turn?” he asked.

In response, Susan took out her journal and read it. “I catalogued yesterday. See?” Handing him the journal, she watched as Ford read her handwriting and how his face fell.

“I’ll go do it now,” he said with a pout. Putting down the newspaper, he headed out of the kitchen before pausing in the doorway. “Will you send Dipper down after breakfast?”

Already turning back to the food and raising the temperature, Susan just hummed. Ford, taking that as a reply, headed to the basement to look over everything and make sure that nothing was about to kill anyone. Once he was gone, the black haired woman grinned and peeled off the fake page she had put over the statement that it was her turn to catalogue. She carefully crumpled it up and then, just to make sure, she wrapped some paper towels around I before she threw it into the trashcan. If all went as planned and if he looked at one of the shelves, he would find her surprise.

Smiling at the expression she imagined Ford would make, Susan dished up the eggs and put the plate into the middle of the breakfast table just as Dipper, Mabel, Stan, and Soos all trooped into the kitchen.

“Auntie Susan!” Mabel greeted cheerfully. “It’s nearly a week before our thirteenth birthday!”

Susan looked over at the girl and smiled back. “Is that why you have a googily-eye on your chin?” she asked with a point.

Mabel took off the eye and then winced. “Ow, glue,” she murmured. Then, as Susan expected her to do, the girl plopped the eye into her eyes, carved a face with her fork, and said, “It’s a Cyclopse!”

Dipper winced and shook his head. “Cyclops,” he corrected.

“Cyclops!” Mabel cheered, thankfully pronouncing the word correctly.

Dipper nodded and ate his food while reading something in one of the journals while Mabel scribbled something down on a notepad.

Susan, figuring that everything would be okay with the kids, made to leave, but Mabel had to make a noise. “Auntie Susan! You _have_ to help us plan our thirteenth birthday party!”

The black haired woman held back the urge to scream. She loved Mabel a lot, but she knew if she got wrapped up with working on the party, she would never be able to go check on Ford. Still, the puppy-dog eyes that Mabel was giving her made her heart break and she sighed and said, “Alright.”

So she followed the kids into the living room of the shack and sat on the ground, her back to the wall. Mabel made sure she was standing in the middle of the room and was looking over the notes she had written while Soos sat on the couch and Dipper sat cross-legged on the floor.

“Alright, party planners. In one week we become teenagers, and our summer vacation winds to an end. So we need to throw the greatest party of all time! I'm talking piñatas with tinier piñatas inside,” Mabel explained with a nod to Soos.

For some reason, and Susan would probably never know the answer, Soos had a bag of miniature piñatas. Taking the bag, he started to pour the miniature ones into one large one. “Boom, dreams comin' true!” he cheered.

Mabel nodded sagely. “I'm talking inviting everyone in town. Let's see, where do we stand with the gnomes?”

Before anyone could reply, Stan’s voice carried over as he walked into the living room. “Not so fast, goofus and girl-goofus. After that zombie incident, no one's throwing another party at my house. I keep finding little bits of the undead in the couch cushions.” To make his point, Stan lifted up one of the cushions of the couch and took out a gray arm.

Susan looked over at Dipper, who had an odd look on his face. “Do I want to know what he’s talking about?” the black haired woman asked him in a low voice.

Dipper shook his head. “You really don’t.”

Susan sighed and shook her head before letting it fall against the wall to watch as Mabel turn to Stan with a large frown on her face. “But Grunkle Stan, we need some roof to raise,” she protested.

“Dude, you could rent out the Gravity Falls High School gym, and have your party there. That place is empty all summer long,” Soos suggested from the floor.

Mabel whirled around to face him, the frown that was on her face replaced by a radiant smile. “The gym's a great idea, Soos. To the high school!”

Suddenly, the entire house started to quake, causing everyone to jump and Susan to get to her feet and look to the opening of the living room. “Susan! Dipper! My face is on fire!”

Susan sighed and hurried out of the room while behind her, Dipper quickly made his excuses before following her as well. The two hurried to Ford, who was patting his face with a towel.

“Great Uncle Ford, are you okay?” Dipper asked.

Ford nodded. “Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly,” he explained with a shrug.

Susan sighed and walked over and wiped some of the smoke that was coming off of his face. Dipper just frowned. “But your face _is_ on fire,” he pointed out.

Ford shrugged. “Yes, it's much faster than shaving.” Putting down the towel, Ford turned to face Dipper and Susan fully, becoming much more serious. “Now listen, Dipper and Susan. I have a very important mission. Susan, I know you’ll come, but Dipper, you are only one outside of Susan that can help us and this is a three person job.” Dipper nodded eagerly, which made Ford smile some even as he dug into his pocket and pulled out the rift, which had a very clear, hair-line crack going down the side. “Remember the rift in dimensional space-time I showed you? It's cracking,” he explained while needlessly pointing to the crack. “This is what Bill has been waiting for. If it breaks, it will cause reality as we know it to completely unravel. A hypothetical and catastrophic event I call Weirdmageddon.”

Knowing what he was going to show him, Susan walked over to a chalk board and flipped it around, showing the drawing that Ford had drawn up that showed what Weirdmagddon would entail. For the most part, the name gave it away. Unlike a usual apocalypse, Weirdmageddon would be plain weird as well. Bill Cipher would take over the universe and destroy it because he lived off of chaos. Weirdmageddon would be Bill’s end game, and it could not happen.

Ford pointed to the chalk board with all this neatly shown on it. “Bill is out there, and he'd use any trick, from deception to outright possession, to make this happen. But for the sake of humanity, we mustn't let it.”

Dipper swallowed hard and paled. Clearly, the idea of Bill controlling the universe was something he did not like. “What do we do?” he asked after a pause.

“We patch the rift. I'll explain on the way.” Not waiting for a reply from Dipper, Ford took out a protective case and busied himself with putting the rift into it securely.

Dipper, however, frowned, which made Susan look over at him with a frown of her own. Usually, the boy would be jumping up and down and running to get his backpack, but now his brow was furrowed. “Wait, what about Mabel?”

Mabel suddenly cleared her throat, causing everyone to look over at the girl. She was standing the doorway, for how long Susan did not know, but she seemed to still be in good spirits. “It's okay, Dipper. You should totally go with Grunkle Ford to save the world or whatever.”

Dipper looked over at his sister, a gleam of hope going into his eyes. “Are you sure?” He asked eagerly.

“We're going to be doing birthday junk all week. Plus, I packed us walky-talkies. Here's one for my party mission, and one for your smarty mission.” Holding out the walkie-talkie, Dipper laughed and took it, which made Mabel laugh as well.

Ford cleared his throat pointedly. “I did mention that the fate of the universe is at stake, didn't I? Hurry, we haven't much time. Susan and I will be waiting in the car.” Taking Susan’s hand, Ford practically dragged her out of the room while Dipper stayed behind for a few moments.

For the first time since breakfast, the couple was along. Susan looked over at Ford and saw an odd look on his face. “I found the reason why you sent me down to catalogue,” he started slowly.

Susan swallowed hard. “I’m glad you did. The box is rather small.”

Ford nodded. “It was.”

Susan took a deep breath and made to reply when Dipper’s voice called out, “Great Uncle Ford! Susan! I’m coming!”

The black haired woman sighed and looked over at Ford. Part of her was rather pleased that he looked as frustrated at Dipper’s timing as she felt. “We’ll talk about it later,” Ford muttered just before Dipper joined them and all conversation stopped on the subject.

* * *

Dipper was in the back of the car, Susan was in the front passenger seat, and Ford was driving. For the most part, the car was silent. Susan had turned on some relaxing jazz music, which had made Ford make a face and change it to classical. Susan had just sighed and looked up at one of the mirrors in the car so that she was able to look back at Dipper. The twelve year old was reading one of the journals and his lips were forming the word as he read them. Susan grinned slightly to herself before she leaned her head against the window and let her eyes close some.

It was rather quiet and peaceful until, quite suddenly, the walkie-talkie that Dipper had in his backpack crackled to laugh. The twelve year old lunged for it as Mabel’s voice came through the speaker. “Master Mabel to Dippidy Dog. We can have our party at the gym, but we gotta talk about high school. Starting to think it might not be the awesome future we were expecting. Over.”

Dipper looked down at the walkie-talkie and seemed to think about what to say, but he ended up taking too long. Ford pulled into a spot and looked over at the boy. With a sigh, Dipper pressed down on the button that would allow him to reply to his sister. “I'm going through a bad patch, Mabel. We'll talk when I get back.” Not waiting for a reply, Dipper put the walkie-talkie into his backpack and nodded to Ford.

“I’m ready,” he stated.

Ford grinned and nodded back. “Good, because we have a long walk.”

* * *

Ford was not lying about it being a long walk. By the time they had gotten to the top of the hill they had been walking up, Susan was hot, sweaty, and thoroughly not in a bad mood. Put she held her tongue and didn’t say any of her complaints, even when Ford walked right past the rock they had used to hide the entrance and instead point to the Floating Cliffs. “Listen, Dipper. In order to seal the rift for good, it's going to take an adhesive stronger than anything on earth. Something...extraterrestrial in origin.”

Dipper’s eyes widened. “W-What do you mean?”

“Look at the cliffs, Dipper. I mean, really look at them,” Susan instructed. “Do they remind you of anything?” to help, the woman grabbed Ford’s key chain and let the UFO that was dangling off it hang just so it fit perfectly in-between the cliffs. She saw a brief smile on Ford’s face as he recognized the scene. When she had first climbed up, Ford had shown her how the cliffs had been cut also using the key chain, and now they had come full circle.

Dipper, however, reacted much more strongly than she had. She had already figured that there had to be such a thing as aliens, ancient cultures depicting the same general idea for thousands of years had proven their existence in her mind. Dipper, though, seemed to have not reached that conclusion. So when he realized what Susan and Ford were saying, he gasped “Shut. up.”

“According to my research, the entire valley of Gravity Falls was formed when an extraterrestrial object crash-landed here millions of years ago. Did this craft cause the town's strange properties? Or, did the town's strange properties attract the craft? The answer is still unknown,” Ford kind of shrugged at the end. He had given up on ever really finding out when Bill started to mess with him and the portal took over.

Dipper was excited enough for both of them, though. “But, that's crazy! Where did the saucer go?” he asked while looking around a bit, as if expecting the saucer to suddenly leap out.

Susan just went over to the rock and pushed it aside. “Sometimes things are just right under our feet,” she informed the wide eyed Dipper, who was eyeing the panel that the rock had been covering up with shock.

Ford nodded. “Or under our feet,” he suggested, which made Susan frown. “What?”

“Feet was perfectly fine,” she grumbled while crossing her arms.

Ford gave her a small smile but then held out his hand. Susan stared down at it. “Yes?” she asked with an arched eyebrow.”

“Susan, you’re the last one that had it.”

“Just say the magic word.”

Ford huffed loudly. “Please, Susan, give me the magnet gun.”

Nodding, Susan placed the gun into Ford’s hand. “Thank you,” she said with a smirk.

Rolling his eyes, Ford turned to the stone and pushes it out of the way. “Now you might wanna stand back. This magnet gun can rip the fillings out of a man's mouth from 100 feet,” Ford warned.

Dipper quickly backed up from Ford and Susan did the same. They watched as Ford aimed the gun at the panel to the UFO and had the gun pull it up. He easily tossed it aside, as they could always get it later.

“Whoa!” Dipper gaped at the hole that Ford had uncovered.

Ford just shrugged. “Susan and I used to raid this thing for parts for years. Where do you think I got the materials to build the portal?” he pointed out.

Dipper stared at Ford and then at Susan and then at the hole and then back at Ford. “You...I...words... not working for mouth,” he finally got out.

Susan just patted the boy on the shoulder and handed him a magnet gun. “Now normally I wouldn’t give a preteen a gun, even one that doesn’t shoot anything, but you’re going to need it.”

Ford walked over to the hole and started to climb down the ladder that was pressed against the wall, all while talking to Dipper. “Don't worry, I've been down here countless times; all the aliens have been dead for millions of years.” His head, which had disappeared, popped back up. “Probably.”

Dipper looked over at Susan who gave him a smile. “There’s really not much down there that can hurt you,” she said in a warm voice, “Except for the select few things, you’ll be perfectly safe.”

Nodding, Dipper started to climb down the ladder and Susan followed him after a few moments so that the entire group was climbing down the ladder, which was pressed against the wall in a narrow tunnel.

“I can't believe there's been a giant UFO under the town this whole time,” Dipper breathed.

From far below Dipper and even further below Susan, Ford called back his response. It helped hearing wise that he had just hit the cavern that the tunnel led to, which allowed his voice to echo around and be amplified. “I wish my mind could be where yours is right now, Dipper. When confirmation of extraterrestrials still had that punch. Now it's just sort of ‘eh.’”

Susan heard a thud and looked down to see Ford already standing on the ground, Dipper nearing the bottom. Sighing, she sped up and soon the three of them were on the floor and walking around. “McGucket, Susan, and I used to come down here all the time to raid their tech and study their language,” Ford explained to Dipper.

Dipper just shook his head. “This is so cool!” Pausing, the twelve year old took a photo of himself grinning next to some alien symbols and then laughed.

Susan rolled her eyes. “Once we have the adhesive we can fool around later. Ford’s getting his serious face on, which means he’ll be grumpy.”

Dipper chuckled at what she had said and then looked over at Ford. “How do you know him so well?”

Susan tilted her head. “Well, we’ve worked together for multiple years and we fell through the portal together. We learned how to be a team so we could survive, and a team has to know each other very well.”

Dipper frowned slightly and it seemed that he wanted to talk more, but Ford started to speak. “The substance we need to seal the rift is an alien adhesive. Strong enough to keep the hull of a spacecraft together. Just one dollop of this adhesive should be enough to seal a crack in space-time. Also, if it touches you it will seal up all the orifices in your face,” he grinned back at the twelve year old and cocked his magnet gun before continuing, “so try to avoid that. Now, use your magnet gun and follow me.”

Backing up some, Ford let out a cry of “Hup!” and then he ran off the ledge that was in front of him, a ledge Susan only now noticed, and used the magnet gun to get down the pillars.

Dipper watched a mixture of awe and horror. Hurrying to the ledge, he called down, “Great Uncle Ford!”

Susan walked over next to the boy just as Ford called up, “Your turn! Say ‘hup,’ it helps!”

Shaking her head, she placed a hand on Dipper’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’ll be right here if you need help.”

Dipper nodded and took out the gun. “Just turn on magnet, leap down hole. Turn on...” pausing, he took out the gun and started to try and turn it on. Seeing that he needed help, Susan took it and banged it on her hip a bit before turning it on and handing it the twelve year old. He sent her a grateful look and then took a deep breath. “Magnet,” he practically whispered and then he looked out at the pillar. Taking another breath, he backed up and then jumped off the ledge with an “Ah!”

Unfortunately it did not work out quite like Dipper had wanted. The magnet gun pulled him up and he ended up hanging from the ceiling, clutching with both hands onto the gun.

“A little help?” he asked rather needlessly.

Susan just took out her own magnet gun and held it up. Instantly, she was sent up next to Dipper. Wrapping an arm around his waist tightly, she gave him a brief grin. “Hold on,” she instructed.

Dipper nodded and grabbed onto her tightly with both hands, forcing her to hold onto him with one hand. Reaching up with her other hand, she detached the magnet and they started to free fall. Part of her was slightly aware of Dipper shrieking into her ear, but Susan instead focused on attaching the gun to the pillar across from them and then slowly sliding them down. Still, she was much less graceful at this than Ford was and she and Dipper ended up landing heavily on the floor.

Susan winced as she felt her foot turn. It was definitely broken, but by the already tense and worried look on Ford’s face, the black haired woman determined that informing him of this new injury was not the way to go. So she kept her face as blank as possible.

Even though he hadn’t noticed her sudden pain, Ford still hurried over and hugged her tightly. “You alright?” he asked in a low voice while scanning her over with his eyes.

Susan nodded rather shakily, which made Ford frown and open his mouth to ask a question when Dipper hurried over to a panel and gasped, “Cool!”

Ford looked back at Susan but quickly followed after him. “This is their storage facility. This place would've been heavily guarded, but now everything's defunct. Go ahead, flip any switch. They've all been busted for millions of years.”

Tentatively, Dipper pressed one of the buttons a few times, but nothing happened. Shrugging, he looked over at Ford and Susan. “See?” the black haired woman said with a grin. “Harmless.”

Going over to one of the holes, Ford held up his hands a pile of metal plates came up. Picking one up, he look for the adhesive and then tossed it aside. Nearby, Susan did the same and, with a shrug, so did Dipper.

“The glue should be around here somewhere, so keep your eyes peeled,” Susan instructed as she too tossed aside a plate that didn’t have the adhesive they needed. Part of her was a bit worried that they wouldn’t find what they needed because they had already used so much of it, but she still looked because they truly had no choice.

Ford, who was also tossing plates aside, paused a bit to look over at Dipper. “Dipper, let me ask you something. Have you thought much about your future?”

Dipper paused some and looked over at Ford. “No, not really. I mean, beyond graduating high school with a high GPA so I can get accepted to a good technical college with a photography and media production minor to start my own ghost hunting show.”

Ford laughed lightly and Susan couldn’t help but grin at just how similar Dipper and Ford were. Evidently Ford saw the same humor because after he had laughed some he shook his head. “It's like talking to a younger version of myself. If you're so sure of what you want out of life, why wait? Why put up with the drudgery of school?”

Susan shot Ford a quick look. She knew exactly what the man was offering to the twelve year old and she didn’t approve at all. So she tried to catch Ford’s eye so that she could see her shake her head, but Ford was steadfastly not looking over at her.

Dipper, for his part, frowned at what Ford was suggesting. “Heh. Trust me, I'd love to fast-forward the whole thing, but it's not like I have a choice,” he pointed out with a shrug.

Ford turned to face Dipper fully, the adhesive forgotten for the moment. “Dipper, I've been thinking. Susan and I are getting too old to investigate Gravity Falls on our own. We need to train an apprentice to help us fight monsters, solve mysteries, and protect this town. And I think I'd--I'd like to keep it in the family,” he explained.

Dipper turned around and stared at Ford, his mouth hanging open a bit. “What are you saying?” he asked in a low, shocked voice.

Susan also looked over at Ford, wanting him to so badly look over at her and explain what he was doing, but he didn’t. Instead, he continued to look at Dipper. “I've read your additions to my journal and I'm impressed with your potential. What would you say to staying in Gravity Falls after the summer ends and becoming my apprentice?”

Dipper blinked at his great uncle for a long time. “W-what about school?” he stuttered out.

Ford laughed. “Dipper, I have 12 PhDs. Your parents would be thrilled I could give you such an advanced education.”

His eyes widening, Dipper seemed to get more and more excited, but then he sighed. “There's also Mabel. She'd be all alone in California,” he pointed out.

Ford shook his head. “Mabel will be fine on her own. She has a magnetic personality. I watched her become pen pals with the pizza delivery man in the 60 seconds he was at the door.”

“Gosh, we've never really been apart before,” Dipper pointed out with a shrug.

Ford nodded and knelt down in front of Dipper. “And isn't it suffocating? Dipper, can you honestly tell me you never felt like you were meant for something more?”

Dipper sighed. “I-I dunno. Sounds like a dream come true, but I'm not sure I have what it takes. I was tricked by Bill, I was wrong about Stan's portal. Heck, I can't even operate this magnet gun right.” Shaking his head, Dipper pulled out the magnet gun and tried to get it to even turn on. Surprisingly, the magnet gun turned on and attached itself to one of the metal plates. Groaning, the twelve year old tried to shake the metal plate off when a pink liquid started to seep out of it.

Susan cheered at the sight of it and hurried forwards, causing Dipper and Ford to stare at her until Ford also saw the liquid.

“Dipper! You did it!” Susan cried out while taking the plate gingerly.

Dipper blinked owlishly. “Did what?”

Susan flipped the plate around to show the pink liquid to the twelve year old. “You found the adhesive!”

“I did?!” he gasped.

Ford nodded and took the plate from Susan to look it over. “Hoho, you really did it, kid. Huddle in, let's get a picture of this.”

The three started to crowd together when there was a loud, very suspicious, noise from a dark tunnel. Ford and Susan instantly both took our their guns and pointed it in the direction of the noise while Dipper huddled a bit into Ford.

“Uh, Grunkle Ford, Susan, you said everything in here is dead, right?” he whispered.

Susan nodded quickly. “Everything should be dead. The only thing that it might be would be…” her voice trailed off and sent sharp look to Ford, who’s eyes had widened and had paled considerably.

“What?” Dipper asked quickly, his eyes flickering between the couple. “What?” he repeated more urgently when no answer came.

“The security system,” Ford whispered.

As if it was waiting for Ford, two of the security drones in all its glory, a machine definitely alien with tentacles and a glass cage-like item on the top, flew out of the tunnel and started to turn some as it looked for what had woken it.

“What do we do?!” Dipper gasped, his voice squeaking with his horror.

Ford moved Dipper a bit behind him and Susan did the same, the two protecting the twelve year old from him. “Listen to me very carefully: I've studied these; they're security droids and they detect adrenaline. You simply have to not feel any fear and they won't see you.” The older man explained urgently.

Dipper stared at Ford. _“What?!_ He hissed.

Susan sighed and shook her head. “Dipper, it’s okay. They detect adrenaline. Focus on calmness. Dipper, _don’t be frightened.”_

However, Dipper had a hard time with Susan’s instructions. “Huh-wha-wha-wha- that's crazy! I-“ he stammered and then shook his head.

“Follow my lead!” Ford instructed before proceeding to calm himself down by taking a deep, slow breath.

“Great Uncle Ford! Susan!” Dipper protested in a cry.

Susan shook her head. “Dipper just focus!”

One of the droids obviously looked over at Susan and Ford. Seeming to be satisfied, the drone moved over and looked at Dipper. The twelve year old stared up at the drone and shook his head. “Wha- I-uh. I-I-uh...” Very not pleased, the droid produced a gun and Dipper gasped, “I can't!”

Making the decision that Susan knew would come back to bite her, Susan tackled Dipper to the ground to dodge the beam the droid shot at the two while Ford shot his gun at the droid. In response, the other droid grabbed Ford by the arm and started to pull him into the machine.

Susan let out a wordless cry and, jumping to her feet, she started to run after the droid when she felt an arm grab her as well.

“Susan!” Ford cried out, his hand reaching for her.

“Ford!” Susan cried back. The two’s hands connected as they got slowly dragged into the droid.

Dipper started to run after them. “Wait, no!” he tripped to the ground and held out his hand, as if he hoped it was a magnet and it would pull the couple to him.

“Stay back! It's too dangerous! Sealing the rift is what's important now! Take this!” Ford took out the rift and slid it across the floor to Dipper. Even though the twelve year old shook his head, he still placed it into his backpack, which made Ford grin. “You're gonna have to do it without me! Use the adhesive! Fix the rift! Save the universe, Dipper!”

“You can do it, Dipper!” Susan added in just as they were dropped into the droid and the machine took off down the hallway it had came out of.

Clambering to his feet, Dipper cried out, “Great Uncle Ford! Susan!” He started to sprint after the tunnel. “Hang on, I'm coming for you! Don't worry! I'll get you out of there!”

The droid went behind a saucer shaped door and Dipper hurried after it. “Where is that thing taking you?!”

As if to answer, a map that made the room glow with an alien, purple light. Three almost hieroglyphic symbols appeared above the drone.

“It's an automated prison droid! And wherever it's going, I'm not coming back!” Ford yelled to Dipper.

In response, Susan heard Dipper gasp loudly. Above their drone, a circular door opened up and Susan grabbed onto Ford’s hand. He squeezed her hand tightly and she squeezed back. She knew that the gesture should have comforted her, but it didn’t. Instead, it worried her even more, because if Ford was so scared than she knew that she should be terrified.

Her terror only grew as an arm reached into the drone and forcefully grabbed her and Ford. The couple were shoved into another ship that instantly started to vibrate as it prepared to take off.

“No, no, no... don't worry, I'll think of something!” Dipper yelled to them while the new droid the couple were in started to leave the pod it was attach to and fly to the door to hover under it.

Susan looked down at Dipper in time to see him start to run to the droid. “Dipper! What are you doing?! You’ll get killed!” she screamed down to him, her eyes widening.

Dipper just shook his head and took out the magnet gun and a roll of duct tape. The twelve year old started to tape the gun to his hand and then, as if to try and make Susan feel better, he shouted up to her, “Hold on Great Uncle Ford and Susan!” Struggling with the gun he added in, “I'm getting you out of this, one way or another!”

Pulling the trigger, Dipper stared in horror at the gun when it didn’t fire and instead spark. “Oh no!” He cried out. Shaking his head, he punched the gun, which only made it spark more.

Susan looked up above her. Her eyes widened as she saw the countdown that had started hit zero. Ford, hearing her gasp, looked up as well. The two exchanged frightened looks and Susan leaned into Ford.

Suddenly, there was a very shrill scream and then a thud. Susan pressed against the glass and could barely make out Dipper attached to the metal droid via the magnet gun. Before she could yell at him for the sheer stupidity, the droid took off violently and both Susan and Ford were thrown against the back of the droid.

From outside of the droid, still attached to the droid, Dipper screamed wordlessly, “AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!”

The droid, as if it didn’t notice Dipper stuck to the outside of it, took off at break-neck speed towards the opening. Easily, it crashed through the grate that was covering the opening and flew straight into the sky.

Susan grabbed onto Ford’s hand tightly and squeezed her eyes shut. Every shake the droid made was maddening and jostled the two around. Suddenly, there was a thud from outside the droid and faintly, the black hair woman could make out Dipper yelling, “Let…go…of…them!” Susan let out a small scream as the droid shook violently and then beeped.

From outside, Dipper screamed as the droid swerved around. Susan looked out the lass to see droid not only go through the water tower but also through the waterfall. Once again, the droid bumped violently, but this time the movement had negative consequences. Next to Susan, Ford hit his head and instantly went unconscious, his now bruised head falling onto Susan’s shoulder.

“Ford!” Susan cried out, her eyes widening as she shook his shoulder, but he did not stir.

On the outside of the droid, Dipper peered into the machine to see Ford’s slumped body. “Ah! Great Uncle Ford!”

Susan looked over at him. “Do magnet pulse!” She screamed to the boy.

Dipper stared at her for a few minutes and then nodded. Using his other hand, he grabbed the magnet gun and turned a knob. Sparks went through the droid and both Susan and Dipper screamed in unison as the droid broke and nosedived towards the ground, clearly about to crash.

Thankfully, the droid leveled out just before it hit the ground, but it still forcefully slid across the dirt in the middle of the forests of Gravity Falls as it crashed. Susan, who had closed her eyes during the crash, cracked the open. Assessing what had happened, she crawled towards the opening of the droid and slid her fingers in between the cracks in the glass. Struggling, she started to try and pull the glass apart, but it seemed that it had been built to make sure that no one could open it from the outside, because it was only when Dipper, who was covered in scratches and bruises, made his way over and also helped to pull it apart did the glass slid apart enough for Susan to drag Ford’s still unconscious body from the droid.

So very tired from the entire ordeal, Susan slumped to the ground and held Ford’s head in her lap, her eyes sliding shut. Dipper started to look around worriedly, the magnet gun no longer tapped to his hand but still in it.

“Susan,” he breathed, but the black haired woman didn’t reply. The twelve year old turned quickly to face her. “Aunt Susan!” he cried out at the sight of her closed eyes.

“…hmm?” Susan hummed softly.

Dipper quickly knelt in front of her and shook her shoulder lightly, which made her eyes open some. “W-what?” she stammered.

“We gotta get out of here before-“ there was a noise behind him and Dipper whirled around, which left Susan to happily slump against the droid ship. It was much easier to just relax and let her eyes close than it was to keep them open and be alert. Still, she listened in as Dipper yelled to something, “Hey, uh, I'm warning you! I have a magnet gun!” There was a pause and then a mechanic noise. Her eyes opened some so that she could see Dipper pointing the magnet gun towards a droid ship, which was pointing a much larger gun at him.

Knowing that there was nothing she could do, Susan kept her eyes on Dipper as the boy continued to point the gun at the machine. “Oh yeah!? You think you can scare me!? Do your worst! Nothing in this universe is gonna take away my uncle or my aunt! So go ahead! Give me what you've got!”

Surprisingly, the drone seemed to look at Dipper for a few moments, which caused Dipper to glare at it in pure anger and Susan to start to close her eyes once more. And then, anti-climatically, the drone fell to the ground, no longer working. Dipper stared down at the drone, his mouth opened some.

Before anyone could really do anything, Ford started to chuckle, which made Susan turn around and literally start to crawl towards him, Dipper on her heels. “Ahahaha! Oh-“ his laughter cut off and he started to cough deeply, “Oh, I thought Susan and I were goners, kid,” he shook his head and coughed once more.

Susan reached him and hugged him tightly. “Ford,” she breathed and then nuzzled her head into his neck. Ford just kissed the top of her head and pulled her close by pressing his hand against the small of his back. Smiling down at her, he only looked up when Dipper arrived and started to ask urgently,

“Oh, are you alright? What happened?”

Slowly getting to his feet with Susan doing the same, the couple stay close together with Ford placing his hand heavily onto Dipper’s shoulder for some much needed support. “The- the orb didn't detect any chemical signs of fear. It- it assumed the threat was neutralized and self-disassembled. Hahaha!” Ford explained, with a laugh at the end that turned into another cough.

Dipper stared at his great-uncle for a few seconds until what Ford had said hit him. “I- I did it?” he breathed, his eyes widening.

Susan nodded and gave Dipper a smile. “You did it,” she told him, pride evident in her voice.

Moving away from the couple, Dipper went over to the drone and stared at his reflection in it. He stared at the height difference that it gave him and the various wounds he had gotten from his mission, but then he also saw Ford and Susan moving over, his eyes started to shine as he realized everything he had done.

“This is what I was talking about. How many other twelve-year-olds do you think are capable of doing what you've just done?” Ford asked with a nod to Dipper’s image.

Shaking his head in complete shock, the trio started to walk away to one of the sides of the trenches the droid had made to go back to the shack.

“Are you two okay?” Dipper asked as he clambered up.

Ford nodded. “I’m fine,” he replied

Susan also nodded. “I’ll be okay,” she promised with a smile.

Dipper nodded and then looked down at the two. “Let’s get you two out of there.”

“Listen to me, Dipper: this town is a magnet for things that are special. And that includes you and me. It brought both of us here for a purpose! Stay here with me, Dipper. Become my apprentice. Don't let anyone hold you-“ as yet another cough interrupted him, Susan leaned over and started to pat him heavily on the back, helping him through.

Once he had regained some sort of control, Dipper leaned down and held out a hand to Ford. “I'll do it; I'm gonna stay.”

Ford beamed and took Dipper’s hand. “Excellent.” Using it to pull him up, the two then turned and help Susan up. Susan went to the left and wrapped an arm around Ford and Dipper did the same on the right. “Now who wants to save the world, apprentice?” Ford asked with a proud note in his voice.

Shaking his head in complete shock about what had happened, Dipper started to laugh and Susan and Ford started to join in.

* * *

When they got home, Dipper ran up to talk to her sister while Ford and Susan prepared to repair the rift that Dipper still had in his backpack. When Mabel let out a faint yell and then the sound of thundering steps, Ford shook his head.

“Do you mind if I handle this when Dipper comes in,” Susan asked. She was sitting on her usual ledge and holding an ice pack to the back of her head.

Ford looked over at her with a slight frown but nodded all the same. “How do you feel?” he asked her as he came over and looked her squarely in the eyes.

Susan gave him a smile and a quick peck on the lips. “I’m _fine_ Ford.”

Giving her a peck of his own, Ford went back to his work as Dipper came into the lab. Susan looked over at him from the ledge. “How did Mabel take it?”

Dipper shook his head. “I don't know, maybe I'm making the wrong decision. I need to think about this.”

Susan nodded and placed her ice pack down before getting up and kneeling in front of Dipper with a serious expression on her face. “I know you’re scared and I know that Mabel’s opinion means a lot to you and you are completely welcome to rethink becoming Ford’s apprentice and staying here, but right now we need you to focus on the mission. Will you do that for me?”

Dipper stared at Susan for a long moment until he nodded. “Yeah, I can do that,” he agreed.

Smiling, Susan gave Dipper a pat and then got up to grab her ice bag. Turning from his work, Ford sent the twelve year old a small smile. “I've got the glue; hand me the rift and let's make history.”

Nodding, Dipper reached into his backpack to take out the rift only to pull out a crumpled piece of bright pink paper that Susan instantly recognized from earlier that day as the paper Mabel had used for the birthday flyers.

“Dipper…” Susan took the flyer and read it over and while Dipper took out another one and stared down at it.

“What? Oh no! The RIFT!”

Dipper bolted for the exit with Susan in hot purist. Ford, looking down at the flyers, quickly followed. The three made it out of the shack and stood near the porch, staring out at the wind whipping the pine trees. The flyer that Dipper was still holding easily flew out of his hand, not that anyone noticed. Instead, all eyes were on the giant rift of chaotic colors appearing the dark red sky above them.

_“The world is finally mine!”_ The familiar voice of Bill Cipher echoed and boomed around them.

“What's going on?! What is that?!” Dipper yelled, looking around at all the chaos that was happening.

Ford grabbed onto Susan tightly and held her close. “We're too late! It's the end of the world,” he breathed.

And Bill, in all his demonic glory, rose up from the woods and crackled down at the town.


	7. Weirdmageddon Pt. 1

Thing had taken a turn for the worse in the once sleepy town of Gravity Falls, Oregon. Bill Cipher, a genius but insane golden demon with one eye was floating over a giant crack in the sky. His laugh, which was already terrifying to listen to, was now doubly so as it echoed throughout the town.

“Oh, it's happening. It's finally finally happening!” He cheered in a gleeful voice. What appeared to be muscle fiber covered the once non-physical demon. “Physical form? Don't mind if I DO!” And with that echoing, frightening yell, Bill Cipher was enclosed in a metal pyramid and disappeared from sight.

* * *

Thankfully far away from the middle of the town, Dipper, Ford, and Susan all stood in a clearing, hearing Ford’s voice as he took control of the town. Ford and Susan were holding hands, and the black haired woman’s face had gone pale. Dipper was holding down his pine tree hat as the wind picked up.

“Alright, listen up you one lifespan, three dimensional, five sense skin puppets!” Bill roared to the town in a deeper voice. “For one trillion years I've been trapped in my own decaying dimension, waiting for a new universe to call my own. Name's Bill! But you can call me your new lord and master for all of eternity!” He finished in his normal tone.

There was a pause that had the trio wondering what was going on. What unspeakable horrors was Bill doing to Gravity Falls?

They did not have to wait long, though, because Bill had more to say. “Now meet the gang of interdimensional criminals and nightmares I call my friends.”

Susan looked up at the sky and felt her face go even paler as different and horrifying demons floated from the crack that Bill had come through. Ford muttered something under his breath and moved from holding Susan’s hand to wrapping his arm around her and holding her tight.

Dipper looked over at the couple and swallowed hard. It somehow just made things feel more serious by the clear display of Susan’s and Ford’s worry and likely fear.

However, Bill was just getting started. “8 Ball! Kryptos! The being whose name must never be said! Haha, what the heck. It's Xanthar. Then of course there's also Teeth, Keyhole, Hectorgon, Amorphous Shape, Pyronica, Paci-Fire, and these guys. This is our town now, boys!” And then, they all laughed.

Once again, there was a long silence from the town. After quite a few minutes of horrible wondering, their worst fears were seen to. Screams echoed from the town and Susan let out a cry of horror at the sight of an eye-bat carrying some poor soul away.

“It's time we do a little redecorating. I could really use a castle of some kind.” In the sky above the middle of Gravity Falls, a metal pyramid formed. “And how about some bubbles of PURE MADNESS!” Bill Cipher laughed gleefully. “This party never stops. Time is dead and meaning has no meaning. Existence is upside-down and I reign supreme. WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, TO WEIRDMAGEDDON!”

In the distance, the water tower came to life and roared.

Ford swallowed hard. “So this is how the world ends. Not with a bang but with a...boop-boop,” he said in a dark voice.

“Weirdmageddon,” Susan said in a soft voice.

“Weirdmageddon,” Dipper echoed.

Quite suddenly from the forests around them, birds started to caw and then fly out of the trees. They were quickly followed by a giant heard of animals running from…something.

Susan quickly grabbed Dipper and moved him to the side as the animals and strange creatures ran.

Ford moved over to them, getting a few complaints from the gnomes in the process. Susan rolled her eyes and sent them a glare. She hated gnomes.

“The rift is shattered. Bill's world is spilling into ours and every minute his powers grow stronger,” Ford warned them once he was over.

Dipper suddenly gasped and moved out of Susan’s grip. “Mabel! The rift must have cracked inside her backpack. She must be in danger. I have to go find her.” Grabbing the walkie-talkie from Mabel’s backpack, Dipper started to head in the direction that the upset girl had run off to. “Mabel! Come in, Mabel! Mabel!” he said urgently into the device.

Ford and Susan exchanged worried looks and then ran after the boy. Ford stopped him in his tracks by moving in front of him and placing both hands on his shoulders. “Dipper. Listen to me. We can find your sister soon, but first we have to stop Bill. If we can blast him back through the rift he came out of, we just might be able to stop him before his weirdness spreads across the entire globe.”

Dipper looked at Ford and then at Susan, who was standing next to him. “Are you sure defeating Bill is even possible?” he questioned them.

Susan sighed and then shook her head. “No, we have no idea if it’s possible,” she told the twelve year old bluntly. Usually she tried to give everyone hope, but with Bill in control and Weirdmageddon happening, they had no time for empty hope.

Ford took her hand wordlessly, sensing the complete worry and fear she was feeling. “But being a hero means fighting back even when it seems impossible,” he said, and Dipper nodded at that. “Will you follow us?” he asked, which made Susan smile at the fact that he didn’t even think about asking her because he knew her answer.

Dipper looked at the two and then nodded. “To the ends of the Earth,” he vowed.

“Good. Because that's where we're heading,” Ford said with a grin before clapping Dipper on the shoulder.

“We also should probably head inside,” Susan warned in a low voice. Ford looked at her so wordlessly, the black haired woman pointed towards the sky where a wave of multicolored madness was hurdling towards them. Dipper turned around and stared at the wave as well. Wordlessly, the three exchanged looks of fear before they ran into the Mystery Shack.

“Weirdness wave!” one of the gnomes yelled just as the wave crashed over the shack and Susan slammed the door shut.

* * *

Ford, Dipper, and Susan all stood at the top of the clock tower. Dipper was peering out the clock, as one of the panels was open.

“Ready to cause some havoc, boys?” Bill was asking the demonic friends he had brought with him.

Dipper turned away from the window to the sound of the demons cheering. Behind him, Ford and Susan were working as fast as they could on Ford’s special gun, a quantum destabilizer they had brought from a parallel universe. It was the one hope for defeating Bill, and they also had only on shot to do it.

Ford readied the gun and grinned. “Ah, my quantum destabilizer. I've been waiting a long time to use this,” he sighed as he moved to the clock and pointed the gun out the panel that was open.

“We're only gonna have one chance to take this shot,” Susan warned him. She had moved back along with Dipper to give Ford all the room he could possibly need to shoot the gun.

“Steady...steady...,” Ford muttered to himself. His finger slowly moved to the trigger. “And...”

Before Ford could shoot, a wave washed over them. Luckily, they were unaffected, but the bell inside of the clock tower came to life, causing Susan and Dipper to leap out of its way as it started to ring back and forth and yell in a voice filled with humor, “         Woohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoo. I'm alive now.”

And then, disaster struck. Ford, whose finger was still on the trigger, jerked at the sound of the bell. His shot fired and hit Bill’s hat and not the center of Bill as they had planned. “Oh no!”

Susan and Dipper started to back up as Ford stared in horror at the sight of Bill’s hat repairing itself. “Ford!” Susan finally cried out as the man wasn’t moving. He seemed to shake himself out of whatever trance he had fallen into and started to back up as well.

But Bill, who had been alerted to their presence, was displeased. He turned towards them and crackled. “Well, well, well, and here I thought today couldn't get any BETTER.” With the last word shouted, Susan barely registered Ford shoving her and Dipper to the ground before clock tower exploded into a rubble.

Dipper, who had been the least harmed, started to cough as soon as the dust started to settle around them. He rolled over and looked at Susan, whose arm was underneath a large piece of rubble and very, very pale. His eyes moved from the black haired woman to Ford, who had been trapped underneath a large piece of rubble as well.

“Great uncle Ford! Susan!” he cried out. Clambering to his feet, he moved the rubble that was pinning Susan’s arm. She gave him a small smile but he could tell that whatever had happened to her arm was really paining her. Without waiting for her to say something, he carefully helped her up and then turned to Ford.

“Dipper! Take my journals,” Ford instructed. Pulling a backpack from near him, he slid it over to the boy who picked it up. “Listen, I know of one other way to defeat Bill, it's-“ his face suddenly fell as he heard something and he shook his head. “Oh, no! Dipper! Susan! Run! Get down!”

Susan gave Ford a desperate look but still ran out of the clock tower along with Dipper and down the stairs. Behind them, they could clearly hear Bill mocking Ford. “Good old six-fingers. I've been waiting an,” he paused and bellowed in a deep voice, “ETERNITY,” and then he was back to his normal voice, “to have a chat face to face.”

From the sound of rubble moving and Ford’s yell of protest, it seemed that Bill had moved the stuff pinning Ford and had picked him up.

Dipper skidded to a halt and groaned at the sight of the entrance. It had never been that sturdy and it seemed that the explosion was too much for it, for it had completely collapsed.

“Window,” Susan said with a pointed look to the window that was close enough to the ground that they could easily get out. Dipper nodded and, with a bit of scrambling and huffing, climbed out of the window.

“It’s not that hard,” he hissed encouragingly to the woman.

Susan nodded as if she believed him. She had felt her bone snap in her arm and knew that this would feel horrible. But it was the only way. So she took a deep breath and tried to do it with one hand. Feeling her grip slip, she added in her other despite the screaming protest from her arm. Each moment sent a fresh shot of pain up through her and by the time she got out of the window, she felt dizzy, nausea, and thoroughly horrible.

Dipper sent her a concerned look, which she waved off with her good hand. “I’m fine,” she told him, though judging by her face he seemed to not believe her.

“This brainiac is the one who built the portal in the first place! Now don't look so sour, Fordsy. It's not too late to join me. With that extra finger, you'd fit right in with my freaks,” at Bill’s familiar voice, Susan sighed and started over to the small hill that was blocking her view, and Dipper followed. The two climbed it quickly and both surveyed the scene of the floating Bill Cipher, the demons he brought over below him, and Ford trapped in Bill’s hand despite all of his clear struggling.

“I'll die before I join you! I know your weakness, Bill!” Ford yelled at the yellow demon.

Bill seemed to smirk. “Oh, yeah?” He challenged. His eye changed to show a black question mark. “And I know a riddle. Why did the old man do this?” He wondered casually as he posed himself so that his arms were up and his hands a bit like claws.

Ford frowned, puzzled. “This?” he echoed while also doing the same pose.

This was just what Bill wanted. Without warning and with no time to react, Ford was completely taken off guard when Bill shot a laser at him. Instantly, he was paralyzed. On the hill where she was watching, Susan let a horrified whimper slip out.

“Because I needed a new backscratcher!” Bill cried out gleefully, finishing the twisted riddle he had started. Casually, he started to scratch his back with the statue of Ford, which made his friends start to laugh and he joined in.

Susan swallowed hard and turned away. “Come on Dipper,” she said in a quiet voice. She placed her hand on his shoulder to lead him away. “There isn’t-“

Cutting her off by moving out of her grip, Dipper charged up the hill and yelled at Bill, “Hand over my uncle! Or else!”

Susan followed a bit, her eyes widening as she saw Bill turn around and give Dipper a smirk. “Now isn't. This.” His eye glowing bright white, Bill flew straight up so that he was right in front of the boy. When he spoke, it was in a deeper, booming voice alongside his usual voice. “INTERESTING.” And then he went back to normal, as if nothing had happened. “My old puppet is back for an encore. You think you can stop me?” Bill punched the air and smirked. “Go ahead, Pine Tree, show me what you've got.”

Susan cursed under her breath. Shaking her head at her own stupidity, Susan ran up the hill after Dipper. Grabbing the black light from his back pack, she shined it on the pages as he flipped through the third journal.

Bill, noticing her arrival, seemed to growl, causing the black hair woman to look up. “You again,” Bill snarled at her. “Why didn’t you stay with Sixer?”

Susan “He told me to run, so I did,” she said in an even voice that hid her emotion quite well.

Growling once more, Bill turned to Dipper. “Well Pine Tree? What’ve you got to defeat me?”

“I...uh... I... uh...” Dipper was frantically turning the pages of the journal, not reading it at this point.

The black light made the ink that Susan had created oh so long ago shine next to the normal writing, but nothing came up instead of the “IF HE GAINS PHYSICAL FORM THEN ALL IS LOST!” passage she still sometimes had nightmares about. That had been a horrible day.

“I UM I,” Bill mocked. “Do it, kid. Do some brilliant thing that takes me down right now. Whattdya got, Pine Tree, everyone's waiting. DO IT,” Bill yelled the last line, his voice echoing.

Susan was taken by surprised as Dipper shoved the journal at her and then, taking a running start from the hill, she watched as he jumped and Bill, his fist aiming to punch the demon straight in the eye with a yell of, “Augh, BILL!” But Bill seemed to have been prepared for this and a force field appeared that sent Dipper falling to the ground and then hitting a tree. “Ugh…” the twelve year old groaned.

Turning around, Susan ran over to Dipper and knelt beside him to check him over while behind her, Bill and his group of friends laughed.

With a shaking hand, Dipper reached for the third journal. Susan, of course, made to hand it to him, only Bill got in the way. He levitated the journals into the air and laughed at Dipper and Susan. “That's right. Don't be a hero, you two,” he chastised in a mocking tone and then waved at Ford, which made Susan growl through gritted teeth. “This is what happens to heroes in my world,” Bill cried out before he did the unthinkable: he burned the journals.

Dipper cried out, “NO! THE JOURNALS!” and crawled towards the ashes and vainly tried to find any pages left over from what was the only way they could defeat Bill. Susan, however, just stared helplessly as the journals she and Ford had devoted their lives to writing in were destroyed. It hurt more than anything to see their hard work just…gone.

Bill laughed and shook his head. “Not much of a threat now, are you?” He mocked before he literally turned his back to them, not even caring if they tried to do something to him. Instead, he turned his full focus onto his friends. “Now can anyone remind me why we came here?”

“To get WEIRD!” one of his friends yelled out, which caused the other ones to cheer in agreement.

Bill nodded. “THAT'S RIGHT! VIP party at the fearamid. Oh, and 8 Ball, Teeth, you've earned a treat, have those two as a snack.”

Dipper and Susan exchanged shocked looks, their eyes widening at what Bill had said. Dipper slowly looked over at the two demons that were apparently going to be eating them. One of them, which had to be 8 Ball because he looked like a magic eight ball, rolled his eyes at him. Next to him, Teeth, which was a pair of teeth, laughed lowly.

“Hench-maniacs, ROLL OUT!” Bill cried out before turning one of the destroyed cars into racecar-like vehicle that they all hopped into.

“Let's get out of here, Bill!” A fire demoness cheered.

Bill laughed loudly and drove off. As he drove, he sent lasers out at different objects, destroying some and just generally causing chaos.

By this point, Dipper and Susan had pulled themselves to their feet. They exchanged worried looks and Susan wordlessly moved herself in front of the younger boy. They both breathed heavily while waiting for the demons to do something. And do something they did. 8 Ball turned to Teeth and grinned. “So, you wanna eat him, or, something?”

Teeth nodded. “Oh, definitely, let's eat him,” he agreed. Together, the two turned towards Dipper and Susan.

“Run!” Susan shouted, and the two took off with the demons following them.

* * *

Gravity Falls was a complete wreck. Cars sat in the middle of the roads, lights were out, windows were broken, and everything was usually silent except for the occasional sound of someone, or something as Bill didn’t seem to care if it was human or magical creature, was grabbed by one of the Eye-Bats and taken off to the fearamid, which was Bill’s floating black pyramid in the sky.

Somehow, though, a TV was still running in the wreckage. “We are day three in this strange cataclysmic event, which some are calling ‘Weirdmageddon,’ or the ‘Oddpocalypse.’ Weather today calls for black clouds, blood rain and frequent showers of Eyeball Bats turning people into stone. I'm Shandra Jimenez, and I ate a rat for dinner.”

As the screen went black, one unlucky fellow screamed as he was turned into stone and carried away by the Eye-Bat that had been hanging around for a bit.

Seeing that the coast was clear, Susan moved out of the garbage bags she had been hiding under and Dipper closely followed. They two exchanged glanced before looking around to see if there was anything hiding. Susan saw the Eye-Bat first. Tapping the twelve year old to alert him, the two ran as sneakily as they could into an alley way, causing them to quickly lose the Eye-Bat.

Susan leaned against the wall heavily, enjoying the brief bit of time she could just breathe. It had been nonstop running since they had escaped 8 Ball and Teeth. Both she and Dipper were exhausted as they had slept a total of six hours in the last few days. She had made a make-shift sling for her arm, which seemed to help some but it still pained her to do anything with it. At times, she could hardly sleep and instead focused on not crying. 

At this point, Susan was so tired that she hardly moved when Dipper rustled around and then spoke lowly into a walkie-talkie, “Mabel, it's me. So far I have eluded capture but I haven't been able to find you or Stan anywhere. I don't know if you can hear me, but wherever you are, whatever happens, I'm going to find you.”

An unhuman screeched sounded just as Dipper finished his promise, causing both to jump and look for the source. There, at the mall, a pterodactyl picked up the ‘A’ in the Gravity Mall’s ‘Mall’ sign.

“The mall! Maybe they're hiding in there!” Dipper pointed out, a smile lighting up his face.

Susan nodded wearily. “And at the very least it’s a warm place to sleep tonight.”

Moving away from the wall, the black haired woman poked her head out of the alley way to check for anything. Seeing that all was clear, she nodded to Dipper and the two made their way to the mall. Susan made to open the door only to find it locked.

“Oh no,” Dipper whispered behind her, causing the woman to whirl around.

Coming towards them was one of Bill’s demon friends, though this one was one of the odder ones she had seen. It was an arm with a face where the elbow would have been. It’s way of moving was by using it’s hand as a sort of claw that propelled him forwards. “Hey. Hey you two. Hey, I wanna talk to you two. I wanna talk about the two of you going inside my mouth. I – I think you both want to get in here,” the arm thing offered.

Susan quickly turned away and started to try and pry the door open, but with one hand her efforts were in vain. Noticing her struggle, Dipper turned and helped her. Together, the two were able to make enough room between the doors so that they could get through. And all the while, the arm kept talking to them. “Hey, you two, hey! I’m talkin’ to you both! You guys don’t have to make a big deal outta this! Hello! HELLO!”

Making it inside the mall with a small bit of difficulty, the two started to back away as the arm _still_ continued on talking to him. It’s hand pushed through the crack in the doors, but luckily the doors were too stiff for him to get to them. “Why are you two just ignoring me?” the arm whined. “That's seriously rude to just IGNORE someone like this.”

Ignoring him, Dipper and Susan backed away from the arm and then turned their sights to the food court. “Stan! Mabel!” Dipper yelled, but his voice just echoed into the emptiness of the mall.

Next to Dipper, Susan sighed and placed her good hand on his shoulder. “It was a long shot anyways,” she pointed out in a gentle voice.

Dipper’s face fell as he nodded and sat down at one of the benches. “I know, Aunt Susan.” The twelve year old seemed to have started calling her aunt whenever he was worried or sad. This was one of the rare times when it was both.

Frowning at the sorry state that Dipper had fallen into, Susan went over to a plate of nachos to give to the boy when, quite suddenly, a net that seemed to have been attached to the food trapped her, causing her to drop the nachos and let out a startled scream that echoed through the empty mall and had Dipper over to her in seconds.

“Aunt Susan!” the boy cried out while tugging on the net. “I-I’ll figure something out,” he promised.

Before he could actually do anything, though, Wendy poked her head out from a potted plant nearby. “Dipper? Susan?”

“Wendy?” Susan gaped at the younger girl. She had grown to enjoy her laid-back nature and from the way Dipper had spoken about her during the last few days, she had really helped the twins out.

“Wendy!” Dipper’s voice cut into Susan’s musings. “Oh no! You've been transformed into some sort of...tree monster!”

The red haired girl shook her head with a laugh. “Ha! It's just camouflage.” To prove this, Wendy climbed out of the potted plant and brushed the leaves off. “My dad made me and my brothers do apocalypse training every year instead of Christmas. Guess it's sort of cool the paranoia paid off.” At the sound of fluttering wings, Wendy shot a bat down with an arrow and grinned. “Nice! Bat meat.” Turning to Susan, she gave her a bemused, apologetic smile. “Sorry about that net. Let me get that for ya.” Using her axe, she cut the net down, causing Susan to land on the ground with a huff.

Dipper quickly hurried over to her and helped her up despite her protests. Instead, he helped her over to a chair before he ran and hugged Wendy tightly, having clearly been putting it off because of Susan’s trapped nature. But now that she was okay, the twelve year old was now able to hug the red head. “Wendy, I'm so glad to find you!” He pulled back to look up at the girl. “I thought everyone else I knew was gone,” he admitted.

Wendy knelt down some and gave Dipper a grin. “Hey, hey, it's okay. I’m with you guys now. And so is Toby Determined, who I accidentally mistook for a monster.”

In a dark corner of the foot court, Toby sighed. “This just in: this arrow in my shoulder,” he stated.

Susan sighed and looked around. “There are a lot of dark corners here,” she noted in a worried tone.

Wendy nodded. “We shouldn't stay out in the open for too long. Let me show you my hideout.” Waiting for Dipper to help Susan up, which she protested against once again, the red head led the group over to the _Edgy on Purpose_ store and brought them inside. There, she set up a fire and skewered the bat so that she could roast it over the fire.

Once they were all sitting, Wendy began her tale. “We were playing Truth or Dare in the cemetary when it happened. The eyeballs froze Nate, Lee, Tambry and Thompson.” Since she was sitting on a cash register, Wendy pressed a button to open the drawer and drew out some cash to wipe her face with before continuing, “Robbie almost got away but had to pause to take a selfie. What about you?”

Dipper sighed heavily. “I was in a fight with Mabel when it happened. Uncle Ford and Aunt Susan asked me to be their apprentice once the summer was over. But that would mean I wouldn't go back home. It would mean growing up without Mabel. She didn't take it well and she ran off into the forest. Mabel couldn't even look me in the eye.”

Susan felt her heart break as she listened to Dipper talk about the choice Ford had put in front of him, the one that _she_ had pushed Ford to do because she had underestimated the bond between Dipper and Mabel.

Wendy shook her head. “Oh, _dude,”_ she looked over at Susan. “Why did you guys offer that?”

“Dipper is an undeniable genius,” Susan started slowly. She could feel both Dipper’s and Wendy’s eyes on her and suddenly her throat was dry. She had yet to explain her and Ford’s side and she wanted to do Ford justice. She swallowed hard. “When I saw how close Ford was getting to Dipper I knew that Ford was going to pull away from him because he doesn’t trust easily. I-I suggested that Ford offer the apprenticeship because it would help Dipper in the long run and help Ford and I as well because…well Ford and I aren’t the youngest people and if anyone was to carry the research on after us, I knew that Dipper was the only one who was worthy enough.”

She turned to Dipper and looked the younger boy in the eye. “I messed up,” she admitted. “I should have realized that you were and Mabel are so close. I am so sorry.” In response, Dipper just hugged Susan, causing the black haired woman to gasp softly and hug back tightly with her good hand.

Once the hugging was done, Wendy got to her feet and broke the uncomfortable silence that had settled over the group. “Come on. Let's get some fresh air. Toby, you watch the camp.”

Toby, who had taken the opportunity to dress himself entirely in _Edgy on Purpose_ clothing, shook his head. “Don't call me ‘Toby’ anymore. Call me Bodacious T,” he requested.

Wendy sighed. “No one will ever call you that.”

Toby just sighed, “Ooh.”

* * *

Wendy, Susan, and Dipper sat on the edge of the roof of the mall, their legs swinging off. All of them looked over the wasteland that Bill had created. “The end of the world. Man, those death metal album covers got it shockingly right,” Wendy said with a shake of her head.

“You know, I used to think I could get out of anything, but this?” Dipper shook his head.

Susan nodded some. “And I’ve been through everything with Ford…but we had each other and we had the journals,” she explained with a frown.

“I can’t even find my family anywhere! Bill said it himself, there's no room for heroes out here. We lost.” Dipper hung his head and Susan felt her heart break. She so wanted to comfort him, to tell him it would all be alright, but she felt the same way and she knew that those words would be empty. So instead she just wrapped an arm around his shoulder so they could both take some sort of comfort that they weren’t alone in their sadness.

But Susan had forgotten about how much determination Wendy had, so when the red head spoke up, she was almost awed. “  Look, dude, it's not over yet. You've beaten Bill twice before, why is this time any different?” Wendy pointed out with a shrug.

Dipper sighed. “'Cause then I had Mabel.”

There was a pause as Wendy seemed to try and figure out what to say, and for a moment Susan thought that not having Mabel was enough that even the red haired girl couldn’t figure out what to reply with. Yet once again, the older woman was surprised as Wendy took a deep breath and said, “Then you need to get Mabel back. Look, this summer, I've seen some amazing things, but nothing as amazing as you and your sister. I don't know if it's dumb luck or yin and yang, or whatever, but when you two work together, there's like nothing you two can't accomplish. You just need to make up, and team up, and save the universe.”

Feeling hope start to bubble up in her chest, Susan nodded. “And Wendy and I will be right there beside you,” she promised Dipper.

The twelve year old looked at both girls and frowned. “But how will I ever find her?”

Before anyone could answer, a loud crunching noise cause the group to look over to see a monster chomping on a billboard. A giant hole was left which allowed Dipper to see…

“The shooting star from Mabel's sweater! She's in there. I know it,” he was on his feet staring at the large bubble with the shooting star and chains on it.

Susan and Wendy quickly got to their feet as well and examined the bubble.

“Whoa, it that like twin ESP?” Wendy wondered, sounding almost like she was in shock at the idea.

Dipper blinked at Wendy and then shook his head. “No, we don't have that, but we do have this thing where our allergies totally act up at the same time.” As if on cue, he sneezed. “Mabel needs us. But how are we gonna get out there without being caught?”

Susan’s brow furrowed. “I think I might have an idea,” She admitted.

* * *

The three of them, plus Toby, had snuck their way from the mall to Bud Gleeful’s now abandoned auto-mart. Surprisingly, quite a few of the cars were in good shape.

Wendy looked around and grinned. “Nice plan, Susan,” she said. “The abandoned auto-mart. Free cars right for the hot-wiring. We just found our ride to Mabel. I wonder if they have a tank. I've always wanted to drive a tank!” In response, Susan just sighed and shook her head. She would never understand other people’s love for dangerous things that would destroy stuff.

Dipper was less taken by the abandoned area. Susan had been teaching him to be more cautious and she was proud to see him following her example and scanning the area with a careful eye. “I can't believe this place is just abandoned,” he finally admitted with a shrug.

Toby, being Toby, was reaching inside a car that had its windows down. “Ooh, an air freshener. Finally I'll smell like a person. Stealy stealy...” Just as he was grabbing onto the air freshener, a tranquilizer dart hit him, causing him to wobble away from the car. “Ah! It's gonna take more than one dart to keep me from-“ Before he could finish several more darts hit him and he collapsed into a knocked out heap.

“Oh no! Tony!” Wendy cried out, and then paused. “Was it Tony? I can never remember his name,” she muttered to herself.

Realizing that they were about to be ambushed far too late, Susan only had time to pull Dipper behind her before three different cars shined their headlights  on It took much longer than Susan cared to admit for her to realize that they were  surrounded by three large monster trucks that were all packed with what appeared to be broken-out prisoners.

“Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a pair of ground walkers,” one man taunted.

“Heheh! Ground walkers! Heheh! Ain't got no wheels!” Another laughed, which set off everyone laughing along with him.

Seeing that Wendy was about to yell something, Susan shook her head subtly, causing the red head to frown but nod. Grateful that she had listened, the older woman yelled at the group of escaped prisoners, “Listen you lot! We just wanna make it to that bubble out east; we have no quarrel with you!”

“Oh, but that's where you're wrong! Hands where I can see 'em,” A voice ordered through a microphone. Exchanging looks, Susan, Dipper, and Wendy put their hands in the air. “Y'all fellers ain't goin' nowhere,” the same voice continued.

The trio exchanged worried looks. “’Y’all?’” Wendy said with a frown.

“’Fellers?’” Dipper echoed, and then his eyes widened in alarm. “Wait...Gideon!?”

“That's Sheriff Gideon!” Gideon corrected before lowering the megaphone to continue to speak, “Under the authority of Bill Cipher, I place you three under arrest! Oh, hi, Wendy! Have we formally met?”

A few prisoners quickly surrounded the trio and, giving them no other choice in the matter, led them to Gideon, who was standing on the back of the truck. He had changed his prison jumpsuit out for a baby blue suit, a white hat, white pair of boots, and a pin that displayed his new rank as sheriff.

Gideon smirked at the sight of the trio. “Wooooo-we! Look what the apocalypse dragged in! Y'all are in a twelve-piece bucket of deep fried trouble now!” Turning , he yelled over at one of the prisoners, “Ghost-Eyes! Spittoon!” The man that appeared to be Ghost-Eyes held out the spittoon and Gideon spat the gum he had been chewing into it.

Seeing that Gideon wasn’t going to speaking for a bit, Dipper groaned, “Ugh, it's Gideon.”

“Has his accent gotten stronger?” Susan asked with a frown as she tried to remember Gideon’s voice when she had met him through the screen when he had tried to blow her and the kids up so that he could control his father as mayor of Gravity Falls.

“He’s gotten folksier,” Wendy agreed with a frown.

Gideon sent the trio a glare and frowned, which made the prisoners shift around them angrily, causing the group to quiet instantly least they get killed. Pleased at the silence, Gideon continued. “Ma' old pal Bill figured you might try to rescue Mabel. So he appointed me, master of these wastelands, and keeper of the bubble! My sweet precious Mabel's trapped inside and I HAVE THE ONLY KEY!” Grinning in a way that made Dipper growl under his breath, Gideon showed the trio the key to Mabel, which was a shiny golden one with the shooting star symbol at the top. “Wrapped around my... well I wouldn't call it a neck exactly, wrapped around this little pocket of fat under ma' head?”

“Gideon, you have no right to keep her in there!” Dipper yelled.

The other boy just laughed. “Bill explained it to me nice and simple: she was always destined to be mine!” Pulling his hat off, Gideon took out a newspaper from the time when he had been dating Mabel and stared longingly down at the picture of the two of them despite the fact that when Mabel herself had shown Susan the article it was obvious to the black haired woman that the girl did _not_ want to be in the picture or with Gideon. However, Gideon didn’t seem to understand this and instead seemed, well, gleeful, at how he had Mabel locked up. “And now that I have her in a cage she'll learn to love me! I have an eternity to wait!” he laughed.

Gideon turned back to Ghost-Eyes. “Ghost-Eyes! Ready to escort our friends to Bill's dungeon?”

Wordlessly, Ghost-Eyes easily lifted Wendy and Dipper up. Susan quickly looked around, trying to figure out who was going to grab her, only for Gideon to chuckle. “Don’t worry yourself, Susan. Bill has special plans for you.”

Susan glared at Gideon. “Do you have _any_ idea who you’re working for?!” she snapped.

Gideon laughed. “Does it matter? Y’all have lost and Bill has won!”

“Oh yeah? You think we’ve lost? Grabbing us like this isn’t going to work,” Wendy snapped suddenly, making Susan turn around and stare at the girl. She inhaled sharply at the sight of the glare the red head was sending to Gideon.

Gideon rolled her eyes. “Oh? And why's that?”

“Cause after I break Ghost-Eyes' arm and steal that key from your neck, I'm gonna wear your butt on my foot like a rhinestone slipper!”

Behind Gideon, all the prisoners laughed at what Wendy had said despite the fact that she was looking down right dangerous. “Oho, and what makes you think you can do all that?” Gideon asked with a smirk.

Wendy glared. “'Cause I'm a flippin' CORDUROY!” Flipping over Ghost-Eyes’ arm, Wendy landed onto her feet and pulled the surprised man back, causing Dipper to fall on the ground and ducked, making Ghost-Eyes to trip.

Gideon started to make squealing noises that resembled a pig over his fallen hench-man. But with all the confusion, Susan and Dipper were able to make it to a car and break the window while Wendy was making her way over to Gideon. No one seemed to notice the red head until it was far too late and she had ripped the key to Mabel’s prison off his neck and was holding him by his overly large white hair.

Once this new situation of Gideon being held by Wendy became apparent to the prisoners, they started to make their way over to Wendy, but she just held him out further and raised up a leg threateningly. “Get back! Get back! Or I will drop-kick him, I swear!” Jumping down from the truck, she made her way over to the car where Susan was sitting in the driver’s seat and Dipper was sitting in the back. Wendy moved around to the other side of the car and opened the passenger’s seat, ready to get in.

“You'll never get away with this, ya hear me?!” Gideon yelled at the group, though mainly at Wendy.

The red head laughed. “ Guess what? We already DID!” With that shout, Wendy kicked the now squealing Gideon towards the group of prisoners. Taking the opportunity, she jumped into the car and slammed the door shut.

Dipper leaned forwards from the back seat. “I know, dude. Tell me about it later,” Wendy said with a causal grin.

Susan, who had been waiting for Wendy to get in the car, took no time in slamming her foot down on the gas and driving out of the parking lot. Due to their head start, they were about ¼ of the way to their destination of Mabel’s bubble before the prisoners and Gideon were speeding after them. In the back seat, Dipper started to breath heavily.

“Make a list, Dipper,” Susan instructed while she drove. She had found that Dipper, when he got stressed, seemed to like making lists. It calmed him down due to having something he could control.

Dipper nodded and started to tick his fingers off as he spoke, “Okay, all we have to do is outrace Gideon's henchmen, unlock the bubble, save Mabel, save the world.”

Susan felt her fingers tighten onto the wheel as she continued to speed. The car that she had picked out was small and not as fast as the monster trucks Gideon and the prisoners were driving. And as they continued to try and get away from them, it seemed that the head start started to matter less and less.

“Arm!” At Wendy’s cry, Susan swerved from the giant arm monster she recognized from earlier, causing the others in the car to yell out. The arm monster thankfully didn’t go after them as it instead grabbed one of the prisoners’ cars and started to gnaw on it.

“Thanks Wendy,” Susan said, only now releasing the breath she had held.

As they continued to speed on their way, now only two cars gaining on them instead of three, Susan cursed under her breath at the sight of the weirdness bubble field that was directly in front of them.

“Watch it! Go around that bubble field!” Dipper warned, leaning forwards in his seat once again to anxiously look out the dashboard.

Susan shook her head. “There’s no way around!” Tightening her fingers on the wheel once more, she thought about Ford and suddenly felt more determination than ever. “Hold on!” she snapped,  “We’re going through!”

“What's even in there?!” Dipper yelled.

They found out as they went through the first bubble. Their heads changed to birds. Dipper, from the back seat, chirped, _“For some reason, I really want worms right now.”_

_“Eat worms! Fly south! Nest!”_ Wendy put in from next to Susan.

_“Must go faster!”_ Susan added just as they landed outside the bubble. Shaking her head, she spat out the lingering feather from the sudden transformation.

“Oh, that was horrible,” Dipper complained in the back.

Susan clenched onto the wheel. “Brace yourself!” she warned as they drove through three bubbles at once. She felt herself shift into from being human, to meat, to…something else. Each transformation brought along screams from the trio.

But thankfully, they made it through. However, during the different bubbles, somehow Gideon’s truck had caught up to them and, forcefully, it slammed into their car, causing Susan’s mirror to shatter and the glass went flying. “Ah!” she automatically screamed at the force.

Dipper leaned forwards, his face anxious. “Aunt Susan, we’re almost there! We just have to make that jump!”

Susan inhaled sharply. “Ford, I will not fail you now,” she vowed under her breath. Pressing her foot down on the gas pedal even more, she and the rest in the car screamed as their vehicle flew through the air.

For a moment, Susan had time to realize just how stupid this decision had been. But then, the car landed and Susan’s head hit the back of her chair hard, causing her eyes to gloss over in pain. The car rolled a few times before landing with a thump that made the back door open. Dipper fell out of the car and, with labored breathing, started to crawl towards where Mabel was. “So...close. Mabel...I'm...almost there.”

Hearing Dipper, Susan struggled with the driver’s door until it was open. Gasping for breath, she looked over at Wendy, who seemed to be fairly okay and was getting her door open. Leaving her to it, she slowly made her way over to the twelve year old just in time to see him stop and look up at a hooded figure. Despite her trying to get over to him in time, she knew she would never make it if the figure tried to do something.

But thankfully, she had no reason to be worried. The figure offered Dipper a hand and then took of his hood, revealing the familiar face of Soos. “Heya, Dipper. How's it hanging?” he greeted casually.

Dipper quickly scrambled to his feet with the help of Soos’ hand and hugged him tightly. “Soos!” he cried out, happy to see the handyman again.

Wendy, who had finally made it out from the car, stared at Soos with wide eyes. “Soos?”

Soos grinned. “Handyman of the apocalypse, at your service.”

Susan moved forwards so that she was closer to Dipper and Wendy and looked over to the twelve year old carefully. She was grateful that he seemed to not be as bruised or scratched up as she and Wendy were.

“Soos! How'd you, where'd you-?” Dipper started to stammer.

“I've been wandering the plains like a desperado, helping strangers. I guess there's some folk songs about me now?” he shrugged at the last bit, as if everyone had folk songs written about them. Not that Susan was really surprised. Soos was the type who would get songs made about him. “Good news is that you all seem to be okay.”

Susan frowned. “What’s the bad new?” she asked carefully.

“Bad news is we're surrounded, dudes.”

The trio whirled around to see that the prisoners had surrounded them completely and, seeing that they were now aware of them, started to cheer. Gideon was, of course, in the front. “Wooowee. I dare say y'all almost had the jump on me there for a second. But this ain't your Gravity Falls anymore! Out here, I win.” Smirking, he clapped his hands and a conch was thrown to him. Raising it to his mouth, he blew hard and the cry echoed loudly. “Bill's henchbats will be here any minute to retrieve y'all,” he informed them gleefully. “MABEL'S MINE NOW! Hahahaha!”

Dipper looked around anxiously and then took a deep breath. “Is she?”

Gideon blinked. “Well, yeah. I have her trapped, ergo, Mabel is MINE.”

“Gideon, listen to me, if I've learned anything this summer it's that you can't force someone to love you.” Susan saw his eyes flick to Wendy briefly. “The best you can do is strive to be someone worthy of loving.”

Gideon laughed and shook his head. “Oh, I'm worthy o' lovin'! These prisoners love me!” As if they had been trained, the prisoners cheered.

Dipper nodded. “But Mabel doesn't,” he pointed out. “Because you're selfish. But you can change! Bill thinks there's no heroes in this world, but if we work together and fight back, we can defeat him. You wanna be Mabel's hero? Stand up to Bill, and let us save her!”

Gideon frowned, his eyes widening as he listened to what Dipper was saying. “That's crazy! You know what Bill would do to me if that happens?”

Ghost-Eyes sent Gideon a look. “What, you scared of Bill?”

Gideon quickly shook his head. “No, I ju...it's a complicated situation,” he tried to explain.

Dipper took a step forwards. “Look inside, Gideon. If all this is for Mabel, then ask yourself what Mabel would want you to do.”

Taking out the newspaper article, Gideon stared down at the picture and traced Mabel’s face. “Dipper. Will you tell her what I did?” he asked in a quiet voice.

“Of course,” Dipper vowed.

Gideon swallowed hard, “I hope you’re right about this,” he muttered before he turned to the prisoners. “Guys, new plan! Bill's minions are gonna be on us in seconds. But I'm not gonna let that dumb triangle be the warden o' me! Y'all ready for a good old fashioned prison brawl?”

Ghost-Eyes nodded. “We're behind you for life, brother!”

“Fighting children is boring, but fighting a chaos god sounds fun!” Another prisoner cheered.

“Lets do this!” Gideon cheered. The group hurried to the cars they had driven and started to race towards the fearmid, with Gideon’s cry of, “Henchmen, rollout!” echoing behind them.

Soos watched them go for a bit. “Whew! And I thought I was gonna have to throw down!”

* * *

It had been a longer walk then Susan had expected to get to the bubble, but once they were there the black haired woman wanted to still be walking. She had a horrible feeling about going into that bubble and what they would find inside of it.

“Okay, remember, guys. This is a prison bubble designed by Bill. We've got to prepare ourselves for what we find in here,” Dipper warned, practically echoing Susan’s worried thoughts.

Somehow, though, she found the strength to nod. “We’ll face it together. For Mabel.”

“For Mabel!” Soos and Wendy echoed.

Dipper looked at the three others and nodded. “For Mabel,” he agreed. Turning to the bubble, he placed the key into the padlock that was holding the chains together and turned it carefully. The padlock and chains fell off and Dipper stared at the bubble.

Seeing his trouble, Susan took his hand and Dipper grinned. Holding his hand out, he took Wendy’s hand and then Wendy took Soos’. The foursome stepped into the bubble. For Mabel.

 


	8. Weirdmageddon Pt. 2

_“We’ll face it together. For Mabel,” Susan said._

_“For Mabel!” Soos and Wendy echoed._

_Dipper looked at the three others and nodded. “For Mabel,” he agreed. Turning to the bubble, he placed the key into the padlock that was holding the chains together and turned it carefully. The padlock and chains fell off and Dipper stared at the bubble._

_Seeing his trouble, Susan took his hand and Dipper grinned. Holding his hand out, he took Wendy’s hand and then Wendy took Soos’. The foursome stepped into the bubble. For Mabel._

* * *

For a moment, all Susan knew was a bright white light, but as it faded enough so that the black haired woman could see, Susan realized that she, Dipper, Wendy, and Soos were standing in some sort of white area.

“Mabel! Mabel!” Dipper cried out, his voice echoing around. Frowning, he looked over at the others. “Okay guys, Bill has taken over the town and if his weirdness spreads he's gonna take over the whole world. Our first step to stopping him is rescuing Mabel, but he's got her trapped in this strange prison bubble.”

Susan frowned and looked over at Dipper. “And what _is_ this place anyway?”

As if this was some sort of cue, the ground under them started to crack with rainbow-colored fractures. Grabbing onto Dipper’s arm, the foursomes started to scream as the floor underneath them gave way.

“Guys, if I die, I wanna die hugging,” Soos stated in his odd sort of way. Before Susan could complain about this, Soos wrapped his arms around the other three and held on tight, smashing them together in an uncomfortable way.

“Soos, you're choking me,” Dipper managed to gasp out.

Ignoring this complaint, Soos just cried out, “Let my body be your shield!”

The foursome screamed as they fell to the ground, bracing themselves for the sure to be painful impact. Except it wasn’t, because they landed with gentle bounce in the middle of a pink and purple bouncy-house.

Susan was the first to get to her feet and she looked around. Wendy took a tentative step and raised an eyebrow. Dipper bounced on the balls of his feet and Soos seemed content to just take in the insane world around them.

“Huh? Is the entire ground a bouncy castle?” Dipper asked with a frown.

“Do you hear 80's music?” Wendy put in.

Soos suddenly took a deep breath. “And does the air smell like childlike wonder?”

Frowning as she realized that the answer was ‘yes’ to all of those questions, Susan took a step forwards and then stared at the rest of the world. Next to her, Dipper, Soos, and Wendy did the same. “Whoa,” the trio breathed while Susan remained silent, her eyes wide in what she was taking in.

“This is Mabel’s prison?” she finally asked in a soft voice.

Mabel’s prison was not what most prisons were. The outside was almost obnoxiously bright and was filled with bright pinks, and purples, and greens. Balloons were everywhere as well as fluffy white clouds, a smiling sun, and brightly colored cars. The population that was milling about seemed to be a mixture of Mabel’s crushes and cute animals. One boy in particular was wearing a green shirt and holding up a letter with a grin. “Yes. Definitely. Absolutely.”

“It's fun-o'clock everyone. Today's weather calls for rainbows with a chance of dance parties. If you are the owner of a unicorn with a top hat, please come to the ice cream beach. Your unicorn is being towed,” An announcer read out.

Soos shook his head and rubbed at his eyes. “What is this new world? Shining, shimmering, splendid.”

“I wouldn’t describe it as such,” Susan said with a frown. Unlike everyone else, seemed positively disgusted with the place. Sure, Wendy and Dipper looked horrified  and both clearly didn’t like Mabel’s prison, neither could even begin to sneer at it as well as Susan was. It was almost as if the place was a personal insult to her.

Suddenly, a scream started from the left side, causing the foursome to look over, startled. They were shocked to see a pineapple running down the road with a pink convertible following it. The car pulled up widely to the side of the street, narrowly missing the pineapple. Inside the car was a man with pale skin and blue hair. Next to him was a man with gold hair and tanner skin. Both were equally muscular and both seemed to be almost too colorful to be looked at directly. 

The one with blue hair grinned at them, his teeth impossibly white. “Welcome to Mabeland,” he greeted in a California surfer voice.

Dipper frowned deeply at the two men in the car, which made Susan look over at him with a puzzled expression. Her confusion only grew as he crossed his arms and stated, “And this is worse than the apocalypse.”

Wendy squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed at them hard. “Dude, this place hurts my eyes.”

The one with purple hair laughed loudly, as if this was the funniest thing that he had ever heard. “Oh that's normal. Mabeland's rainbows have colors only bees and art students can see.” Shaking his head, he leaned into the seat of the car. “Now who wants to go on the grand tour?”

Susan eyed the car with a dark expression on her face. “Do we have a choice?” she asked.

The two men exchanged a look and laughed loudly. “No!”

Sighing, Susan got into the car along with Wendy, Soos, and Dipper, though the black haired woman looked like this action physically pained her. Dipper bit his lip and then gave Susan’s forearm a reassuring squeeze. He hoped that the crash wasn’t getting to her.

Susan sent Dipper a slight smile and then tried to relax as much as possible as the two brightly colored individuals in the front seat of the car drove off widely.

“Mabeland is the ultimate paradise and the only rule: there are no rules,” the blue haired man called back to the foursome, who felt uncomfortable squished in the car as the vehicle swerved widely.

“Except for one rule which is very serious. But no one would ever break it, so it's not worth mentioning,” the other one said with a shrug.

Susan frowned as the two high-fived and shouted together. “I don’t really care about the nonexistent or existing rules. I just need to know where Mable is.”

Next to her, Dipper nodded. “Yeah! Where’s Mabel?”

“Our home girl Mabel lives at our next stop.” The purple haired man said as he literally turned around in his seat, despite the fact that he was driving, and gave the foursome a grin. Meanwhile, the now unmanned car drove through a building, hit a fire hydrant, and then skidded out into the middle of the street.

“No rules!” the blue haired one cried out with a grin. The foursome was less than pleased. Susan felt  the death grip that Dipper had on her forearm lesson as they drove relatively smoothly to a beach. Susan wished that she was more surprised at the sight of some penguins dressed in suits and holding trays of food and drinks.

“Now, come have rad snacks served by awesome penguins,” the blue haired man announced.

Wendy shrugged and took a drink from the tray. “Oh, score! I'm so hungry.”

On the other side of the car, Soos also took a drink from the tray. “Yeah, I haven't eaten anything except for part of my hat for the last three days.”

The two clinked the glasses together and started to drink from them with a grin. In between them, Susan and Dipper exchanged worried looks. Dipper frowned at the two others. “Can you guys just hold on a second? Do you see what's happening here? Don't forget this world was created by Bill.”

Susan nodded. “Bill is a demon. He’d enjoy tricking you with blood that looks like punch,” at this, Soos and Wendy set down the drinks. “Or glitter rain that’s made up of ground up bones of your friends.” To make her point, Susan held out her hand and gathered some of the glitter that was raining from a cloud and then let it drain from her hand.

Dipper turned to the others, a deep frown on his face. “Bill's using Mabel's own fantasies as some sick trap. We need to grab Mabel and get the heck out of here.”

Hearing them, one of the brightly colored men leaned over from the front of the car with a laugh and a grin. “Oh, Mabel? She's at the top of the tallest tower guarded by those big buff waffle guards. There's no way to get past them!”

The group looked over at the tower Mabel was in. Susan thought that it resembled the type of tower that Rapunzel would have lived in, only like everything else it was pink and purple. Getting out of the car, the foursome paused at the beginning of the path to the tower. So far, they had been unnoticed by the two men and the waffle guards, which were literally waffles with muscular arms.

Soos held out his hand. “Someone hand me some syrup.” Ignoring the fact that no one had any, Soos jumped onto a guard and started to eat him.

“Aaah! It's happening! The moment we've trained for!” The guard screamed as Soos started to eat him.

Briefly, Susan wondered what kind of training the waffle guards had done, but she soon found herself kicking through the other waffle’s face as he was assuring his friend with, “Oh, don't worry, man! I've got ya-“

“It's now or never, guys!” Wendy shouted. With the doors no longer blocked, the group ran for the top of the tower. Surprisingly, Dipper made it to the top first. He burst through the doors with the others joining him as quickly as he could.

While the group paused to take in the room and its frolicking animals, Dipper kicked one of them aside and shouted, “This is a rescue! Everyone hit the deck!”

They ran to the bed that Mabel was currently sleeping in. “There she is! Soos! Grab her! Wendy, barricade the door!” Dipper ordered.

As Soos picked up Mabel, Dipper started to try and check on his twin in the much bigger man’s arms. He gave a small smile as Mabel started to wake up and look around. “Soos? Wendy? Dipper? Auntie Susan?”

There was a sound at the doors, causing Susan to run over and join Wendy in an attempt to keep the Waffle Guards, which were now poking their swords through the cracks, out. “We gotta hurry,” she warned the group.

“Uh, guys?” Mabel asked. She squirmed out of Soos’ arms and stared at Wendy and Susan trying to keep the door closed and Dipper trying to find a weapon.

“Don’t worry, Mabel. We’ve got this,” Susan said, though it was pretty obvious that that was a lie.

Mable sighed. “But guys,” she huffed. Raising her hands, she clapped twice. Magically, the group was floated into the air before being forcibly placed into some balloon-like, colorful chairs. The Waffle Guards, no longer being blocked, shoved their way in and pointed their spears at the group, but Mable clapped once more and they stopped.

From his chair, Dipper stared at his sister in mouth-open shock. “Mabel! What are you doing? We're trying to save you from this prison!”

Mabel gave Dipper a small smile and shook her head. “This isn't a prison! I made this world!” Clapping her hands again, the lights turned on to reveal a large desk behind her and an almost sickening amount of rainbow everywhere. Spreading her arms wide, Mabel took in their shocked expression and, with a frown, dropped her arms. “Well, I sort of woke up here. It's complicated,” she admitted with a shrug.

Susan’s brow furrowed. “But you just said that you made this world,” she pointed out.

Mabel waved her hand. “Details, details.” She stepped to the side a bit, revealing a plaque that read, in gleaming gold, ‘Mayor Mabel.’ She gazed at it proudly. “This is my home now; I don’t need to be saved!”

Behind her desk, a…a bubble bear, something completely new to Susan, accidently flew into the window, bumping the windowpane. “Sorry, Mabel.”

“No worries, Bubble Bear.”

Deciding to not ask all the questions she wanted to ask about the bear, Susan turned her gaze to Mabel. “Mabel, this world-“

“Is amazing!” she cut in. “After Dipper said he wouldn’t come back home with me at the end of the summer for your ‘apprenticeship,’” Susan flinched a bit at that, despite there being no venom in her voice. “I wanted to hide in my sweater forever. But then I woke up in a place that gives me exactly what I wanted: an endless summer where I never have to grow up! Here the sun shines all day, the party never ends, and now that you guys are here, it's finally perfect!”

Dipper shook his head. “Listen, Mabel, we're not here to party. All of this is crazy!”

“Dipper’s right, Mabel. This is a prison that was created by Bill to keep you from helping us.”

Mabel, not listening, rolled her eyes. “I figured you two might say something like that. That’s why I prepared a backup Dipper with a more supportive attitude. And a backup Susan and Ford who _don’t_ try to take away my brother.”

The door behind them opened, causing the foursome to swivel in their chairs. There, on a skateboard, was something that looked vaguely like Dipper, but everything was far more colorful and bright. His vest was a lighter blue with gold stripes, his pants were insanely tight, and his hat was larger and more, in Mabel’s opinion likely, cooler. Walking him behind him were two adult figures that had to be the improved Susan and Ford.

The ‘More Supportive Susan,’ was much like the more supportive Dipper. Her dress was far brighter and shorter. Ford’s more supportive version followed the brighter color scheme and his coat was missing.

“I tried to do one of Grunkle Stan but they were all way too positive,” Mabel said with a laugh and a point to a closet.

Hearing through the doors, a chorus of voices, all belonging to Stan, called, “We love you Mabel sweetie!”

Rolling her eyes, Mabel turned to the colorful Dipper and high-fived him, causing him to grin. “Yeah! Wiggity-wiggity-what's up, dude-bros? I'm Dippy Fresh! I like skateboarding, supporting my sister, and punctuating every sentence with a high five! Hup!”

The more colorful Susan high-fived him and then smiled in a way that caused the _real_ Susan to huff and shake her head. “I’m Susan Fresh! I support the twins equally and I don’t try to split them up ever.”

Next to her, the more colorful Ford also high-fived Dippy Fresh. With his other hand, he took Susan’s and beamed at her in a way that made the actual Susan’s heart clench at the painful reminder that her Ford was locked up and being tortured by Bill. The longer they sat there, letting “Stanford Fresh” talk about how he would never separate the kids and how he had Stanley had become “best friends like the twins,” the worse condition Ford would be in when Susan finally reached him.

“Yay! Hup!” Dippy Fresh shouted, startling Susan. She looked over to see him holding his hand up, clearly inviting someone to high-five him.

“Oh! Don't mind if I-“ Soos started, only to be cut off by Dipper pointedly clearing his throat and giving him look. Soo looked between Dipper and Dippy Fresh, torn. “I'm sorry, I can't leave him hanging!” He finally protested. With a shout of, “Yus!” he high-fived Dippy Fresh.

Looking injured, Dipper shook his head. “You're dead to me, Soos.”

Mabel turned to the others, a huge smile on her face. “Trust me, you guys are gonna love it here. This world always knows what you want. Sometimes even before you do!” To prove this point, a chinchilla dropped into her arms. “Apparently I wanted a chinchilla! Right again, Mabeland!” she said with a laugh.

Susan shook her head. “Mabel, this is a trap by Bill. Please! Ford is in trouble and he needs _all_ of our help.”

Next to her, Dipper nodded. “I'm sorry about our fight, and I'm sorry things aren't great right now but that doesn't mean you can just stay in here forever!”

On his skateboard, Dippy Fresh rolled over with his arms crossed. “Hey, take a chill pill! Those grow on trees here!”

Dipper glared at Dippy Fresh. “YOU STAY OUT OF THIS, DIPPY FRESH!”

While the others flinched back at Dipper’s shout, and Soos tried to calm the situation down by saying, “Dude, calm down; Dippy Fresh didn't do anything to you, dawg,” Susan just watch Mabel. The girl looked truly sadden by Dipper and, Susan realized with a small amount of shame, _her_ behavior.

Mabel shook her head and turned in the direction of Wendy and Soos, clearly seeing Susan and Dipper as a loss cause. “I know it sounds too good to be true, but just give this place a chance! Mabeland knows just what you want and always provides!” With a clap, their clothes became clean and less ragged, and their hair straightened out as well.

A hamburger appeared and flew up to Soos’ mouth, making him grin bite into it. “Pudding center. Nice!”

Looking at Soos and then at Susan and Dipper, Wendy sighed. “Uh, actually, Mabel, I'm with Dipper on this. Gravity Falls is in trouble and I really think-“

She cut off as a truck honked outside. Going over to the window, she looked outside to the street to see her friends pulling up in a giant monster truck. “Wendy!” they chorused.”

Wendy blinked. “Wha- guys? You're safe!”

One of them called back, “We've got a monster truck full of fireworks, fake IDs, and pranking supplies.”

“Wanna drive this truck to the high school and glue this plunger to the principal's head?” one of them added.

“Yes. Yes I do.” Turning to the others, Wendy was clearly trying to not grin widely. “Sorry, guys, I've always wanted to do that. I'll be back in just a few minutes.” And then she ran off. Susan looked out to see her hop into the truck and drive off with her friends, cheering.

“Wendy!?” Dipper called frantically, hoping that she might turn around, but she didn’t.

Soos pat Dipper on the shoulder and gave him a smile. “Don't worry, dude. There's nothing in this world that could break me from our mission,” he promised.

But then, a muscular man wearing a tank top, a wrestling mask, and a champion belt that read ‘PAPI,’ entered the room. “Soos, mijo. I have returned.”

Soos turned, startled, and stared at the man. “Holy- whoa, whoa. Dad?” he gasped out.

The man nodded. “You don't remember what I look like, so I have the body of a pro wrestler and a face you once saw on a hot sauce bottle. I was never there for you, but in this world, I can be.”

Soos ran over to him and beamed at him. “You're perfect!”

Susan and Dipper exchanged worried looks. “Soos, you can’t!” Susan protested, feeling guilty as she saw the gleeful expression on Soos face as he stood next to him something that was claiming to be his _father._

“It's a trap! Don't go with him, Soos! No matter what he offers you!” Dipper added in quickly.

The man held up a baseball glove and ball. “Want to play catch?” he offered.

Soos looked back and Dipper and Susan briefly and then looked at the man and nodded. “I'm sorry, dude. Even if it is all a dream, I've gotta play just one game. Hahaha! Come on, Dad!” The man threw the ball out the door and Soos ran after it.

Susan turned to Mabel and shook her head. “Can’t you see how damaging these fantasies are? How do you think Soos is going to feel later once he remembers that his father has never been there for him? Don’t you see that only someone like _Bill_ would give hope to someone only to take it away?”

Mabel crossed her arms. “People are happy here!” she protested. “Does it really matter if it's real or not?”

“Of course it does!” Susan cut in quickly. “I would love to see Ford happy and without all the trauma that Bill has caused him, but I love the Ford I have now, the _real_ Ford who’s being _tortured.”_

Mabel’s brow furrowed for a bit, but then she turned to Dipper quickly. “Mabeland has something for everyone! Even you! In fact-“ the door started to open, much as it had for Soos, but Dipper quickly shook his head.

“Nope. Not looking. _Not looking,”_ To punctuate this, he left the room. Giving Mabel a sad look, Susan turned and left as well.

* * *

Dipper and Susan stood on a riverbank, trying to cut out the noise of the stuffed animal tree and the stuff animals on it singing nearby.

Growling in frustration, Dipper picked up a rock and threw it across the river. Instead of sinking like an _actual_ rock would, the rock skipped perfectly across the river, baby laughter sounding with each skip. “Ugh, even my stone skips are perfect!” he shook his head and looked over at Susan. “Maybe Mabel's right. It's a horror show out there. At least the air in here is breathable.”

Susan crossed her arm. “This has Bill written all over it. Only he would make a prison as evil as this. It just draws you in with false promises…”

Her voice trailing off, Susan watched in complete shock as a familiar figure walked around the animal tree and headed towards them. His clothes were tattered, his face was smoking, and he had a strong limp. But to Susan in that moment, he looked so beautiful.

“Ford,” she whispered, making Dipper turn to see. His mouth fell open as he saw Susan running towards the man and throwing her arms around his neck to kiss him. He quickly turned away, not wanting to see the two so…passionate with one another. Old people kissing was just icky.

Susan was anything but grossed out however. A thousand different replies ran through her head as she pulled back, but all she could manage to say was, “How?”

Ford gave her smile. “I escaped Bill when he wasn’t paying attention. Making it here was easy when I knew that it meant you’d be here.”

Susan felt tears start to well up in her eyes and she quickly hugged Ford once more, hiding her face against his chest. “I thought he would have killed you by now,” she admitted, her voice muffled.

Ford ran a hand through her hair. “He wants us for something. Something big. We can never leave here, I’m afraid.”

Susan took a quick step back, her eyes widening as she stared at Ford. “What?”

“We can’t leave here. Bill will hunt us down and he will never stop. You and I both know that.”

Behind the two, Dipper ran up, seeing that they were no longer hugging and being all romantic-y. “Great Uncle Ford! How did you escape?”

Already suspicious of Ford, Susan watched as he face went to one of annoyance when he saw Dipper run up to him. The Ford she knew would _never_ make that face at Dipper. So she reacted as quickly as she could. She pulled Dipper back and moved him behind him, prompting the young boy to say, “Aunt Susan? What are you doing?”

He tried to move around her but Susan stopped him. “That’s not Ford.”

The Fake-Ford took on a wounded expression. “What do you mean, Susan? I escaped Bill and made it here so we could be together, but now we can never leave.”

Susan shook her head. “The _real_ Ford would want to keep fighting; he would never try to stop us from leaving. Ford knows that I would _happily_ die to stop Bill from torturing _anyone_ else. You aren’t real!”

Reacting to her words, the Fake-Ford turned into thousands of black centipedes. The sky above them, so bright and cheerful, darkened into an angry red with black billowing clouds. Dipper screamed shrilly and Susan grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the centipedes that were crawling angrily on the ground.

The stuffed animal tree turned dark and twisted and said in a deep voice, “You shouldn't have done that, Dippeerrrr! We're watching you.”

Following this sentiment, the stuffed animals on the trees face morphed so they only had one yellow eye. “THERE ARE EYES EVERYWHERE.”

As Susan and Dipper started to back up, the world around them changed back to its original bright and colorful way. The band that Mabel liked, Sev’ral Timez rode back on a long tandem bike and called out cheerfully, “Hey, Dipper and Susan!”

The tree, now in its original form, was back to singing cheerfully, “Dup a dup dup I'm a stuffed animal treeee...”

Moving away from Susan, Dipper looked around widely. “Oh my gosh. This is crazy. Um- I'm losing my mind. We have to get out of here. We have to go back. To the real. WORLD!”

As if he had cursed, the word ‘world’ caused everyone to have severe reaction, except for Susan and Dipper. The people on the street all turned and gaped at Dipper. Mabel, who had been walking among them, let out a horrified gasp and didn’t even stop the waffle guards from tackling Dipper and pulling Susan away from him when she made to intervene.

“Leave him alone!” Susan protested.

“Under Article Smiley Face of Exhibit Squeaky Duck, you are hereby accused of breaking our one rule: mentioning reality,” the waffle guard yelled out, holding up the defeated Dipper. “Prepare to be banished from this land FOREVER.”

A portal opened up, clearly leading out to the real world. Desperately twisting in the waffle guard’s grasp, Dipper sought out Mabel’s eyes in the crowd. “MABEL! You're smarter than this! Bill has you hypnotized or something! Are you really gonna let them banish me?!”

His words shaking her out of whatever daze she was in, Mabel shook her head and stormed towards the waffle guards. “No! Of course not; that's my brother, guys! There's gotta be another way.”

The waffle guard looked at Mabel and sighed. “Very well. If Dipper wishes to stay, he must plead his case in the ultimate trial. Of fantasy vs. reality.”

The environment those words created would have been shocked and horrified, but then Soos took a bite out of the waffle guard. Annoyed, he looked over at the man. “Hey! Seriously?”

Clearly eating the piece of the waffle still, Soos pointed out a stuffed rhino. “It was him.”

* * *

Getting to the courtroom was not as dramatic as Susan feared it would be. She, Wendy, and Soos had ridden in a car behind Mabel, allowing them to compare notes on what had happened with the items that Mabeland had given them.

Wendy had explained that her friends had, in her words, “freaked out,” when she had said that she had to go get back to her friends and had started to threaten her to stay with them. She had shuddered a bit when she described the way that they had turned into centipedes when she had reminded them that they weren’t real.

Soos’ story was, in Susan’s opinion, heartbreaking. The handyman had told them that the man pretending father had asked him to stay with him in Mabeland. When Soos had refused, the man had started to throw baseballs at him over and over again. Soos had cried out something about him not being real and all the baseballs and the man had turned into centipedes. Though he didn’t seem upset and was even smiling, he had only said one or two ‘dudes’ during his story. After he was done telling his story, he didn’t really speak.

When Wendy had asked what had happened to her and Dipper, Susan told her the story. She left out as much detail as she could when it came to the interactions with herself and Ford, not because she was embarrassed, but because it hurt to think about. Ford was outside the bubble being tortured by Bill and, though it hurt to think about, what she had said to Wendy and Dipper in the mall was true: she and Ford weren’t young at all. The portal and all the universes they had traveled through had worn them down and at this point they were just tired. If they didn’t leave soon, then they might not reach him in time.

The rest of the ride, after Susan was done with her story, was a silent affair. No one wanted to think about their friends and loved ones in the real world, but no one could bring themselves to not think about them.

It seemed that Mabel was wrong; Mabeland did not make people happy.

* * *

It took about ten minutes for the courtroom to fill up. Wendy, Susan, and Soos had all sat down in the row behind the desk Dipper and Mabel were sitting at. They could clearly hear Dipper complaining to his sister about the situation.

“Seriously, Mabel? You're letting them take our argument to court?”

“Hey, I didn't make the rules in Mabeland.”

“Yes, you did! There's a tapestry of you making the rules!”

Before Mabel could reply with anything, one of the policegiraffe called out, “All rise! For the honorable Judge Kitty Kitty Meow Meow Face-Shwartstein.”

Dutifully, Susan got to her feet along with the others in the room. From a hole next to the bottom of a cat scratcher, a large and colorful cat climbed out and to the top to seat himself behind a desk. Picking up a mallet with one paw, he banged it down, causing it to squeak. “Order! Order! This trial begins right meow!” Seeing a piece of string, he broke his serious manner to start to paw at it with loud laughter.

The poliegiraffe, not looking shocked, cleared his throat. “Judge?”

Stopping in his play, the judge sat back down. “Sorry, sorry.” With a clear of his throat, he _actually_ began the trial. “We are here to try Dipper Pines in the case of fantasy vs. reality.” As if by magic, the words ‘Fantasy’ appeared in a fancy script alongside ‘Reality,’ which looked like it was stamped. “If Dipper wins, Mabel will return with him to the real world! But if he loses he will be banished forever! And replaced with town darling, Dippy Fresh!” With one of the claws, he pointed over to Dippy Fresh with a smile that showed far too many teeth for anyone to feel comfortable. “Dippy, come on out.”

Dippy Fresh rolled over on his skateboard and flashed a smile at everyone. “Flip-a-dip-dip!” As if he had to prove to be more annoying, he _posed._ Susan tried not to roll her eyes. Dipper was already in trouble; it would do no one any good if she got in trouble as well. Besides, if she did, then she would be replaced with Susan Fresh and that thought was just nauseating.

Dipper, from his seat, glared at Dippy Fresh and hit his fist on the table, which squeaked, in front of him. “I hate him. So. much!” he ground out.

The judge gave Dippy Fresh another creepy smile before turning back to the crowd, serious. “The final decision will be made by a jury of your peers.”

Mabel smiled and stood up to clap her hands. In the jury box, six different versions of Mabel appeared, all who had _something_ nice to say to the one next to them, and it was _all_ about the headband they were wearing, never mind that it was the exact same one.

Dipper sighed and looked over at the box of Mabels and then at his real sister. “Look, Mabel, this whole thing is ridiculous. But if winning a trial is what it takes for you to come home with us, then so be it.”

Mabel gave him a small smile. “I'm sorry, Dipper, but I can only speak through my legal team now.”

From a side door, Xyler and Craz, wearing suits with their sleeves cut off, walked over to stand proudly by Mabel. “We have a doctorate degree in hunkiness!” One of them informed the crowd.

“Also criminal and international law,” the other added with a wide smile, as if that made any sense.

The judge banged the squeaky mallet. “Let's hear openin' statements.”

And so it began. One of them, Susan was pretty sure it was Xyler, started to address the crowd. “Your honor, townsfolk, lovely ladies of the jury.” With the last part, he winked over at the jury box, causing a lot of them to fall over in their seats and utterly freak out.

The other one, Craz, continued on with the address. “My case is simple: this very unrighteous dude thinks that reality is better than fantasy.” A chalk board appeared behind him and a stick appeared in his hand. “But reality is bogus, lame and whack.” As he spoke, he pointed to the words with the stick as the appeared on the board.

“Objection your honor, that's conjecture,” Dipper said as he got to his feet.

The cat shrugged. “Meowverruled.”

Xyler was the one that spoke again. “I'd like to show you this ‘reality’ that Dipper loves so much, and show you how it has wronged my client, and Dipper, their entire lives.” From Craz, the colorful man took a book entitled _‘Mabel’s Memories’_ from a case and held it up for all to see. “Mabel's scrapbook.” He opened the pages and read the date, “Second grade. October tenth.”

“Photo day,” Dipper whispered from his seat.

* * *

_Dipper and Mabel, only in second grade, were sitting in chairs as they waited to get their picture taken. Even then Mabel had braces, long hair, and a strange obsessions with clothing, only at this point it was those silly plastic slap bracelets. From nearly her shoulder to down to her wrist, the sleeves of her shirt were covered with the bracelets. She was smiling excitedly._

_Dipper, however, was not as excited. He had a blue hat pulled down on his head and a green zipped up sweater. His nose was red. He sniffled and then sighed. “Darn allergies.”_

_Mabel, holding a new slap bracelet, slapped it onto her wrist. “Boom! A million slap bracelets! I'm gonna have the best photo ever! And how d'you like my new pigtaaailllls?” she asked as she waved her head back and forth, causing the pigtails to swing back and forth._

_A larger kid suddenly walked behind them and snorted. “Have fun, brat!” With chewed-up gum in hand, he put the sticky item into Mabel’s hair, causing her pigtails to get caught in the substance._

_While the other kids laughed, Mabel’s eyes filled with tears. She quickly felt behind her head and turned to Dipper, worried and upset. “Ah! Gum! You ruined my hair! Dipper, what do I do?”_

_Dipper blinked at her and then sniffled. “Um, well, I, um. I don't,” he couldn’t think of anything to help Mabel. And when her tears starting to fall and Mabel ran off, crying, Dipper only jumped to his feet and cried out, “Mabel!”_

_“Mabel's fantasy was having a great school photo, but reality had other plans.”_

* * *

Back in the courtroom, Susan jerked as she was suddenly assaulted with the bright colors. She looked around to see Wendy blinking and Soos rubbing at his eyes, and then she saw Dipper, still in front of them, and his body posture was one of sadness, matching the overall emotion from the memory.

“Look, that was one bad day!” He protested, but it sounded too weak.

Xyler shook his head. “One of many,” he corrected. “February fourteenth, fourth grade. Valentine's Day.”

“Oh, come on, man, you can't,” but even as he said that, Susan felt herself get pulled into the next memory.

* * *

_Dipper and Mabel, now in fourth grade, were sitting at their side-by-side desks in their classroom. Mabel, who was wearing a pink shirt with a high pony tail, was clearly well-liked by her classmates. Her white bag decorated with a purple heart was full of brightly colored cards._

_But Dipper’s bag, which Mabel had made to match hers, was quite the opposite. His was nowhere near as full as his twin’s, but she had yet to notice._

_“How many valentines did you get, Dipper?” She asked happily as she dumped her bag out to look at all the cards and, most importantly, all the candy attached to them._

_Turning his bag upside down, Dipper watched as nothing, not even a piece of candy, fell out. He frowned and shook his bag, hoping that something had been caught and just needed a little extra help. He couldn’t have gotten nothing…right?_

_Dipper’s cheeks blushed and he started to sink into his seat. But that had to be the moment that the meanest boy in their grade noticed his plight. “Oh, hey, haha! Dipper didn't get any! Oh, man, I thought I was the class loser! Hey, everyone, Dipstick didn't get any!”_

_The kids in the classroom took up the last sentence as a chant. All of them, laughing and mocking him, all of them chanting, “Dipstick. Dipstick. Dipstick.”_

_Tears starting to fall, Dipper rushed to his feet but tripped out a waste basket. Gathering himself, he heard the leader of the mockery say to Mabel, “I can't believe that kid's your brother.”_

* * *

Back in the courtroom, Susan shifted as she looked over at Mabel. The girl looked sadden by the memory, and she didn’t seem to agree when Dipper protested once more.

“Hey, what's the point of all this? That was in the past!”

Xyler shrugged. “Is your life any better now, bro?”

Memories in quick bursts flashed before Susan’s eyes.

* * *

_Dipper was sitting on a log in the forest as dawn broke behind him._

* * *

“Heartbreak.”

* * *

_Dipper and, surprisingly, herself on the hill when they had watched Bill take Ford away._

* * *

“Disaster.”

* * *

_Mabel, tears gathering in her eyes, was yelling at Dipper by the shack._

* * *

“Broken promises. That's reality for you,” Xyler finished.

“Out there, it's nothing but heartbreak. But in here, who wants pug sundaes?!” Pug sundaes appeared in all of the jurors hands, causing them to squeal excitedly as they dug into them.

“Hand me a microphone, Xyler,” Craz requested. When Xyler handed it to him, Craz held out his arm and dropped it.

“Totally righteous, bro!” Xyler praised.

“Are we brothers?” Craz asked.

“I don't know!”

Having gone back to batting at the string, the judge said lazily, “Well, I think we're ready for a verdict.”

Dipper clambered to his feet. “Wait! I haven't even presented my case!”

The judge looked at him. “Do you even have a case?”

Dipper looked over at the real Mabel, who was rocking in her chair and singing, not even bothered by how he might never see her again, and nodded firmly. He stormed up to the judge and looked up at him. “Yes, I do, your honor. I call as a witness: Mabel Pines!”

The crowd gasped while Susan smiled at Dipper encouragingly. If anyone could convince Mabel that Mabeland was wrong, it was Dipper, and the trial would give him the time to do it.

Mabel frowned and looked at the cat questioningly. “Uh, objection?”

The cat shrugged. “I'll allow it. Us cats are famously curious. Meow meow.”

Looking confused, Mabel walked over to the witness stand and sat down in it. Dipper stepped in front of her and sighed, thinking carefully about what he was going to say. This was his only chance to get Mabel on his side; he had to do it right.

“Mabel, listen. I might not have all the answers,” he looked around the courtroom and gestured to Xyler and Craz. “I'm not stylish,” he paused and found Dippy Fresh, crowd surfing, and gestured at him, “and I'm not cool. I can't make pugs appear out of thin air.” He snapped his fingers and nothing happened.

The jurors, their pug sundaes long gone, started to boo and claim that he was guilty, but Dipper ignored them to instead focus on the actual Mabel. “But I know one thing well, and that's you. And I know that although you might act like it, you don't wanna be in this fantasy world.”

Susan could tell that Dipper was getting to Mabel. The girl was clearly uncomfortable and crossed her arms. “Uh, pffsh, yeah right,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

“You're scared. Of growing up. And who could blame you; I'm scared, too,” he admitted with a shrug.

Mabel shook her head quickly. “Uh,” she looked around and then covered her ears. To prove she wasn’t listening, she started to shout, “LALALALALALA I'M NOT LISTENING!” Letting her hands fall, she yelled to the waffle guards, “GUARDS!” she clapped her hands and the straightened to attention. “The FINGERS!” As if they had done this before, the guards stuck foam fingers into Mabel’s ears.

But Dipper kept going, knowing that his sister could hear him. “Look, real life stinks sometimes, okay, I'm not gonna lie. But there's a better way to get through it than denial, and that's with help from people who care about you. It's how we've gotten through our whole lives.” Grabbing the scrapbook, he said gently, “Just look.”

* * *

_Back in second grade, Mabel was sitting, crying, as she gingerly felt her ruined hair. Dipper, smiling, ran up to her and sat down next to her. “Mabel! I figured out a way to fix your photo!”_

_Mabel looked at her brother, utterly miserable. “What? You have a wig?”_

_Dipper shook his head. “No! But, I have a razor!” Holding the razor up, he used it to shave a line right down his hair, cutting away a rather impressive chunk of it._

_Mabel started to laugh as she saw the mess he had made. “Haha! You're crazy!” But even as she pointed that out, she still took the razor and shaved a large line down her hair as well, cutting out the gum in the process._

_Together, the two posed for their picture. Though their hair was horrible and their teacher was shaking her head in disapproval a mere few feet away, the twins laughed throughout the entire process._

* * *

In the courtroom, Susan smiled as Mabel knocked away the foam fingers. Seeing the positive response, Dipper kept going with the memories.

* * *

_Fourth grade Dipper was hiding in the janitor’s closet as he cried because of the kid’s bullying and because of his lack of Valentine’s Day cards. But something poked his back. Still sniffling, he looked down to see that Mabel had glued together her cards in the shape of a heart and had written on it: ‘For My Favorite Brother.’_

* * *

Now Mabel was smiling as well. “We've always been there for each other,” Dipper reminded her.

* * *

_In the shack at night, Mabel sat with her sweater tied around her waist. She smiled at her brother as he placed a Band-Aid on her scraped knee._

* * *

_Dipper and Mabel, the former exhausted and wearing a suit for some reason, first bumped his sister. Both were smiling._

* * *

_Mabel and Dipper, hugging each other for dear life, were lowered down by Mabel’s grappling hook._

* * *

“Mabel, I thought you were living a fantasy, but look at me! I actually thought I was gonna stay here and be Ford's apprentice! Spend my entire teens cooped up in a basement with a labcoat? No offense Aunt Susan,” he added with a small smile to the older woman, who waved her hand with a smile, “but how ridiculous is that?” He sighed and gave his sister a huge smile. “I don't know what's gonna happen in the future, but whatever it is, you don't have to fear because we'll do it together. I'm not taking Ford's apprenticeship. We've traveled to Heck and back to get you and we're goin' back together. Leave this fantasy world. Let's beat Bill and grow up together.”

The crowd started to talk to each other loudly, all seeming to agree that this was not a good idea and Mabel shouldn’t go out to beat Bill. It was dangerous and they didn’t know what was going to happen! It would be far safer to stay in Mabeland where everything was predictable.

The judge, getting fed up with the talking, banged the squeaky hammer down onto his desk, causing it to loudly squeak. “ORDER! ORDER! ORDER IN THE COURT! DANG IT why is this hammer squeaky?!”

Mabel got out of the chair and stood in front of her brother, a smile on her face. “You mean it? You're really coming home with me?”

Dipper beamed at his sister. “Yes. Definitely. Absolutely. Awkward sibling hug?”

At the last three words, the crowd shrieked in horror. Several people stood to their feet and cried, “Don’t do it,” Craz in the front doing the same.

“You do this and it's all over!” the judge warned.

Mabel held out her arms for a hug. “Sincere sibling hug,” she corrected.

The two hugged, much to the happiness of Susan and Wendy and Soos and much to the horror of the occupants of Mabeland. “DON'T DO THE PATS!” the judge screamed.

The twins patted each other on the back with a happy, “Pat pat.” At these actions, a ripple came out of the spot, causing the judge’s wig to be swept away and all of the Mabel jurors to disappear. Susan jumped to her feet and hopped over the small and inflatable wall in front of her.

“You did it, Dipper!” She hugged the boy tightly, causing him to squirm in her grasp.

“I guess I did,” Dipper said with a small laugh once Susan had released him, only to be hugged once again, this time by Soos.

Susan looked at Mabel, who was rubbing her eyes and frowning at all the brightness around her. It seemed that she even had a limit when it came to color, and Mabeland was well above it. “Aw, man, I never noticed how bright this place is, ugh! Have I actually been listening to the same song for an entire week?”

Before anyone could answer, the judge called attention to himself by meowing in distress. His eyes looked almost feverish as he clawed at the desk in front of him. Mabel took him in and made a face. “Whoa, time to calm you down.” She clapped twice, but unlike all the other times, nothing happened. Susan felt a pit open in her stomach as she took in all the people surrounding them…all the creatures no longer under Mabel’s control.

“Uh, why isn't this working?” Mabel wondered aloud as she started to clap repeatedly in the hope that _something_ would follow.

The judge smiled at Mabel in a viscous way that made Susan grab the younger girl and pull her back. “Because your reign over this land is OVER.”

A cut appeared down his head and body, causing the cat to split open to reveal a nightmarish pile of yarn.  Mabel screamed along with Soos while Susan turned around, taking in the crowds as they turned gray with glowing red eyes.

“We need to leave!” Susan shouted to the others.

Mabel nodded and pointed to the door. “I know a way!”

The group of Susan, Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and Wendy ran for the door as the one colorful world was washed over in gray with nightmarish abominations sticking up in the place of trees and flowers and even houses. But thankfully, a Waddles that was just huge hadn’t changed size and was just waiting for them to get on. “Everyone get on!”

The group didn’t need to be told twice. They got onto the huge sized Waddles which Mabel promptly slapped awake. “Take us to freedom, Giant Waddles! Yah!”

Waddles started to run, and the group held on. Susan, seeing a knitting needle, grabbed it and passed it down to Mabel, who was standing at the front. The girl held up the needle and pointed it as they headed towards the edge of the bubble. “Sorry, Mabeland. It's time to burst your BUBBLE!” As Waddles jumped, Mabel broke the bubble with the needle. There was an explosion of light and rainbow colored confetti…

And then they were all lying on the ground directly beneath where the bubble would have been. Their clothes were once again tattered and dirty and Waddles was small once more.

Dipper and Mabel were the first to get up, with Wendy shortly following. Soos took some time to regain his senses, but soon he was up on his feet as well. And Susan, who was just so tired at this point, somehow found the strength to get to her feet and lean on the handyman while Wendy hugged Mabel.

“We’ve missed you, Mabel,” Soos said, thankfully not running up to hug her as he clearly wanted to and instead support Susan, something that she was grateful for.

Mabel pulled away from the hug to look at Dipper, her face suddenly serious. “Hey, Dipper? I appreciate what you said back there, but if you want to take Ford's apprenticeship, I won't get in your way.”

Dipper shook his head. “Psh. And miss out on your awkward teen years? You wish,” he finished with a laugh.

Mabel looked over at Susan and then at her brother. “I’m sorry for trying to replace you guys, and for replacing Grunkle Ford.” At the mention of Ford, Susan bit her lip and looked down, causing the younger girl to run up to her and hug her. “We’ll get him back,” she promised. “No one messes with the Pines family and gets away with it.”

Susan just laughed. It was so nice to see Mabel back to her usual self and her constant thinking of others. Even as Mabel looked around the new Gravity Falls, she was at least _trying_ to smile. “Man, I went nuts back there. I mean come on. The real world can't be that bad, right?” Turning in a different direction, her mouth fell open as the goat, now giant, was stomping onto whole houses and the black Fearamid floating in air below a crack in the sky. “Oh boy.”

* * *

They had walked back to town and had been horrified by how quiet it was. No one was around, and, even more troubling, there weren’t any _bodies._ It was one thing for there to be dead bodies. As horrifying as that would be to see, it meant that there was some sort of cause…but just nothing meant something far worse had happened.

“Where is everyone?” Mabel wondered, speaking everyone thoughts.

“The town's deserted,” Wendy breathed. Susan paused slightly as she remembered that Wendy had a father and a lot of younger brothers that she loved dearly.

“Did Bill already win?” Soos asked.

Dipper swallowed hard and looked over at Susan. Seeing the imploring look on his face, Susan sighed. “Come on guys. The Mystery Shack is a safe place; we can hide out in there until we come up with some sort of plan.”

* * *

And so they walked some more. Susan had never truly thought about how far the shack was from the town until she was seeing the sign telling them that they were only one mile off. That had prompted everyone to hurry, which was not what she wanted to do. She was far older than the rest of them and while they were all tired, it seemed that she was the only one who felt like they couldn’t go on much longer. Unwanted thoughts popped in her mind at how Ford must be feeling, how he must be suffering at Bill’s hands. She swallowed hard and set her mouth into a firm line. If Ford was putting up with torture, then she could walk a bit more!

And when the shack came into view, Susan couldn’t help but smile at the sight. It was still exactly how they had left it, which meant Bill and his minions hadn’t touched it.

“Yes! It's in shambles! Just like we left it,” Dipper said as he hurried to the porch.

Wendy ran after him. “Oh, man, this is the first time I've ever felt happy going to work.”

Mabel hurried behind him, smiling in her usual way. “Hello, house. Hello, porch. Hello, wads of gum I left stuck to the couch.”

Dipper, who was at the door first, started to reach for the handle when he paused, hearing scuffling and then sharp shushes. He looked over at Susan, who had only now reached the porch and was leaning on the post. “Wait, what was that? Shh.”

Slowly, he leaned to the side and picked up a golf club and hefted it like it was bat. Wendy reached behind her and picked up her crossbow, pointing it at the door. Soos pounded his fist and Mabel grabbed her grappling hook and held it up. Susan grabbed a long piece of wood and also held it like a bat.

“Let's get 'em, dudes,” Soos said, clearly trying to keep his voice low but just not getting the right hushed volume.

Dipper nodded at him and kicked open the door. The group, even Susan, screamed as they ran into the shack, only to be screamed back at by all their friends, all the missing townsfolks, who were hiding in the shack with Stan front and center.

“Stan?” Dipper and Mabel asked together, letting their weapons fall to their sides as they saw their uncle.

“Kids?” Stan dropped the bat to his side and stared at the group.


	9. Weirdmageddon Pt. 3

_Dipper nodded at Soos and kicked open the door. The group of Mabel, Dipper, Soos, Wendy, and even Susan, screamed as they ran into the shack, only to be screamed back at by all their friends, all the missing townsfolks, who were hiding in the shack with Stan front and center._

_“Stan?” Dipper and Mabel asked together, letting their weapons fall to their sides as they saw their uncle._

_“Kids?” Stan dropped the bat to his side and stared at the group._

* * *

“Wait,” Dipper said, his eyes wide as he took in Stan. He looked over at Mabel, who was beaming. They both turned towards Stan once again and shouted, “Grunkle Stan!” as they ran towards him.

Stan readily hugged the twins tight, making Susan smile behind him. She rarely got to see a good side of Stan, and seeing that now made her smile.

“Kids! I can't believe it! I thought I lost you two!” Stan said, the joy clear in his voice.

And suddenly, there was an unwanted fourth person in the hug as Soos threw himself into the embrace. “Mr. Pines! It's really you! I've been hugging strangers to practice for this moment.”

And then even Wendy came over and hugged Stan as well. “We missed you, you old codger.”

Dipper pulled back enough to wave Susan over, and while she did walk over, she didn’t join in with the hug. Instead, she just rested her head on Dipper back. For a moment, they all stayed that way, but then the twins and Wendy, and finally even Soos pulled back. Stan seemed to not be able to stop the chuckle that came from him as he took in the group. “I've missed you knuckleheads, too. It's good to have you back,” he admitted.

Dipper looked around, and then jumped up some as some things that Susan recognized as Lilliputtians ran past the group. “So...what's everyone doing here?”

Mabel nodded. “Yeah there's like monsters and gnomes, and is Pacifica wearing a potato sack?”

“Pacifica Northwest?” Susan asked, the name ringing bells. She and Ford had gone up to Northwest Mansion when she they had found out about the truth of town’s founding and, from the updates Dipper had put in the journal, it seemed that their words had done little. But Dipper had admitted that there seemed to be some hope left for Pacifica.

And then Pacifica responded to Mabel, and Susan realized that the hope for Pacifica was very small. “Hey! Even in a sack I still look better than you.”

Susan glared at the girl in response. Even if Mabel didn’t seem hurt by what she had said, Susan knew that the world of girls was hard to deal with. But since she was an adult, she didn’t respond and instead paid attention to the Multi-Bear as he said, “It's...it's a long story.”

From the vents, Susan heard the voice of Larry King say, “Hey, is anyone gonna feed me? Larry King's disembodied wax head wants num-nums.”

“Disembodied wax head?” she asked Dipper in a hushed voice.

“It’s a long story. Cursed wax figures.”

Susan looked down at the boy, her brow furrowing as she, not for the first time, wondered if the Pines family was insane.

Grenda, Mabel’s friend with an unusually deep voice, was not as weirded out by Larry King as Susan was. In fact, she stormed over to the vents and yelled to him, “We're trying to ration our food, remember?” Larry King, in response, started to chew on Grenda’s hair. She looked around and winced. “Uhhh...it's happening again.”

The Multi-Bear walked over and closed the vents, allowing Grenda to move away and rub at her scalp.

Suddenly, one of the minitours, who had been watching out the door, yelled through the shack, “Hey, everyone! Eye-bat!”

The entire group gasped. A gnome cried out, “Evasive maneuvers!”

Stan ran towards the door and slammed it shut before grabbing Dipper and Mabel in a bear hug. “Shhh, keep it down,” he warned everyone.

Susan, who was the closest to the light switch flipped it off, making the shack go dark as the refugees scattered about for a hiding place. She didn’t really see a reason to hide though, and instead just slid down to the wall so that she was sitting underneath the lights. The entire shack was still. Everyone could hear the wings of the eye-bat as it flew around the shack and then the frantic sounds of a raccoon until it went silent and the wings disappeared.

Still, the shack stayed still until normal sounds resumed outside. The wildlife seemed to be the cue for everyone to breath and for Stan to light a match and throw it until a nearby can. The make-shift candle illuminated the shack and the people sitting around.

“Welcome to what's left of normal around here. Home base,” Stan explained.

Home base really was the only option for a name. Perhaps at one point it wouldn’t have been only humans, but that had changed drastically so that it was now a motely of both human and the magical creatures of Gravity Falls. Despite how often Susan and Ford had been chased away from the woods by some of these creatures, it seemed that everyone was acting in a stable peace. Their common enemy of Bill threatened them all, and so they all worked together to just survive.

Toby Determined was getting the darts from the junk yard pulled out by a gnome. And judging by his yelp of, “Ow!” it seemed to hurt a great deal.

A blonde man started, “We have...”

And then a group of similarly dressed blonde men sang along with him, “Several injuries!” and then they clutched at their injuries with much groaning.

“Ow, my liver, girl!” One added in.

Suddenly, Dipper backed away from someone, causing Susan to head towards him. “Ah! Rumble McSkirmish?”

“The video game character?” Susan checked, frowning.

Rumble seemed to nod, but the way he continuedly swayed made it hard to tell. “Do not be afraid. Weirdmageddon has taught me, there are some battles I cannot win. I am now Humble McSkirmish.” The digital words of ‘-50 despair’ popped up next to the figure.

Mabel turned to Stan, frowning. “Grunkle Stan, how'd this all happen?”

Stan almost seemed thrilled that _someone_ had asked them this question, which made Susan roll her eyes. It seemed that even if there was an apocalypse going on, Stan still wanted to be the center of attention by telling another of his stories.

“So I was hammering signs out back when the sky started vomiting nightmares. I listen to a lot of AM radio so I knew what this meant: the end of the world. What I didn't expect was what happened next. The totem pole came to life and tried to smash me to bits! But this dome of lights appeared around the shack and it fell over and changed back to normal. Turns out whatever you and my brother did to the shack with your unicorn voodoo made the crazy place invincible to weirdness.”

Susan nodded. “Unicorn hair has amazing properties,” she added in as an attempt to explain the ‘unicorn voodoo.’

This time, it was Stan who rolled his eyes. But he didn’t seem as annoyed when Dipper nodded and put in, “That's why this is the only place Bill's magic can't touch.”

“That’s totally correct Dipper,” Susan said with a smile.

Seeing that they were done talking about ‘unicorn voodoo,’ Stan continued with his story. He gestured to McGucket, which made Susan’s heart speed up and for her to jerk down some, as if she could hide herself from him. Stan did not notice this. “That's when Possum Breath over here shows up leading a bunch of injured stragglers through the forest. They needed a place to stay and since the mayor got captured, I elected myself de facto chief. The plan's to stay in here and eat Brown Meat until we run out, then I vote we eat the gnomes.”

“Hey! I'm short, not deaf!” of the gnomes protested. He was standing on a shelf behind Stan, making it so that he was close to being at the same height as Stan’s shoulder.

“Shh! Shh! Stress will make you chewy.” Stan said with what seemed to be a gentle pat on the gnome’s shoulder.

Dipper looked around at the shack and then, momentarily, outside. “Grunkle Stan, we can't all just hide inside the Shack. There's a town in need of saving. Ford, Susan and I tried to do it, but Ford got captured by Bill.”

“We’ll get him back,” Susan promised, looking down. She had no idea what was happening to Ford, but she knew that it could not be good. They were both older now, and there was only so much his body could take.

Stan, however, just shrugged. “Serves that jerk right. My brother's had some stupid plans, but going up against an all-powerful space demon was his worst one yet. Trust me-“

“How dare you!”

Stan blinked at the shrieked interruption. “What?” he asked, the spoon of Brown Meat from the can he had just opened falling away from his mouth.

“Ford is a hero! He is far braver than you are! A _twelve-year-old_ is braver than you! You have no right to sit there acting as if you have single-handily down anything except mooch off the apocalypse. I don’t care if you think you have a ‘sweet thing’ in this shack because people are dying out there! Dipper and I have seen it, and so have Wendy and Soos,” Susan was breathing hard when she was done ranting, and she looked like she was going to say more but Stan scoffed, cutting off whatever she was going to say next.

“I'm sure wherever the rest of the townsfolk are, they're fine,” He said with a roll of his eyes.

Glaring at him, Susan grabbed the remote from his chair and turned the TV on. The shack was filled with the cool blue light and everyone turned to see…

“This is Shandra Jimenez reporting live from the inside of Bill's castle. Here for the first time are images of what's happened to the captured townsfolk. Viewers are advised to look away if they don't want to see their friends turned into a twisted throne of human agony.”

If this had been regular times, most would have focused in on Shandra’s haggled appearance. The newscaster had always been very put together. But this was not regular times, and everyone was staring in horror at the sight of the throne that Bill had built for himself. Statues of their friends, with expressions of terror on their faces, had been twisted so that they could support the weight of the people above them.

“Mom and Dad?” Pacifica said in a soft voice, edging towards the TV.

“My family!” Wendy said, her eyes on both her incredibly large father and all her much younger brothers.

“Deputy Durland!” Sheriff Blubs cried out while he grabbed the TV set and shook it.

Someone pulled him back though, because everyone was able to watch in horror as Shandra looked out at them and asked, “Is there no one who will save the people of this town?” An Eye-Bat flew up behind her and Shandra finished her report with, “I'm Shandra Jimenez and I'm being turned into stone by a flying eyeball.” She had just enough time to finish her sentence before she made a horrifying choking noise and then she was a statue. The camera dropped and the TV turned to static.

Everyone gasped. The sight they had just seen was horrifying to say the least, and it was made worse by knowing they were just sitting in a shack…doing nothing.

“Oh, no. My parents are bad but even _they_ don't deserve to be turned to stone,” Pacifica said with a shake of her head.

Sheriff Blubs had a far more…dramatic reaction. He dropped down on his knees, tilted his head back, and yelled, “Curse you, Bill! Why must you take everything we love?” He then ripped his shirt open before falling into a defeat lump and crying.

“Guys, don't you see?” The shack turned to see Mabel standing on the Multi-Bear’s shoulder. “Our friends need us, but we can only save them if we fight back.”

With a helpful hand from Mabel and a less than gentle push of his paw from the Multi-Bear, Dipper stood next to Mabel and nodded. “Mabel is right. Bill wants us to run and hide. He wants us to think he's invincible. But Ford told me before he was captured that he knows Bill's secret weakness.” Dipper looked over at Susan, who moved forwards so that more people could see her. “Do you know it Susan?” he asked.

Susan nodded. “Ford and I spoke about it as a precaution. But we _need_ to get Ford or else it won’t work.”

“What’s the weakness?” Wendy asked,

Susan, in response, shook her head. “For all we know, Bill might have some eyes here that were placed before the unicorn hair. I don’t want to risk saying it out loud.”

While everyone seemed less than pleased with that response and there was a rise in muttering, it all ceased as Dipper starting to speak once again. “    Now, if we band together, if we combine all of our strength, our smarts, our...whatever Toby has...”

“Various rashes!” Toby put in rather enthusiastically.

“...then we just might be able to rescue Ford, learn Bill's weakness, and save Gravity Falls!” Dipper finished.

As the crowd starting to cheer. Stan suddenly spoke up. His arms were crossed and he was glaring around the room. “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Have you all forgotten who's in charge here? Besides, we're only safe inside! It's not like we can take the Mystery Shack to Bill.”

The person that Susan had been fearing to speak did so. Fiddleford McGucket step forwards. Susan already knew that time had not been good for him. But seeing Fiddleford in such a state made Susan sad. They had been close friends once, after all, and no one wants to see an old friend with a cast on his leg and not very well-kept long beard on his face.

“Wha--Whoa! Holy hootenany! Flapjack and fiddlebanjos!” He started to explain, his casted-foot thumping along with his every word. But then he took a deep breath and started up again, “Sorry, Sorry. Got a little excited.” He finished this apology with another thump of his leg, but he quickly slapped it. “What I meant to say is I think I figured out a way to fight Bill and rescue Ford. I’d be happy to show you but,” He pause and looked over at Susan, “Only if present company is okay with it. I’ve done a lot of damage to you in the past, but I hope you know that I am deeply sorry.”

Susan took a deep breath and then looked down at the floor. Closing her eyes briefly, she allowed herself to smile and then she took a step forwards. “You were scared Fiddleford, and so was I. I do not hold your past actions against you and I am pleased to work with you once again, old friend.”

Fiddleford beamed at her. And then they got to work. He snapped his fingers and a gnome put his glasses on. He and Susan along with Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and Wendy all sat down and started to plan.

* * *

Several hours later, Fiddleford laid out the blueprints for their masterpiece. “Alright. I've made some thingamadiculous robomajigs in my day, but this is the first one that _won't_ be used for evil.”

“I thought your laptops were always interesting,” Susan put in softly. Things were still very awkward and stiff around the two, but they had to make it work for Ford’s sake. 

Dipper picked up the blueprints and gaped at them. Even though he had helped out nearly every step of the way, it was still incredible to see the finished drawings on paper. He could see Susan’s notes and Fiddleford’s notes, and even his notes! It felt like he really had accomplished something big.

“Whoa! These blueprints are incredible, McGucket,” he said after a long pause.

“This is your most amazing invention yet,” Mabel agreed.

“Our invention,” Susan corrected. “We all helped.”

Soos looked down at the blueprints and frowned. “Question, does it have any gun-swords? I watch a lot of anime and, uh, trust me, you're gonna want some gun-swords.”

“What's an ‘anime?’” Fiddleford asked with a frown, which was backed up by a nod from Susan.

Soos just shook his head. “We have much to discuss.”

Stan, who had been watching the proceedings with more and more anger, stormed over and pointed at the blueprints. “Discuss nothing! These scribbles are a bunch of cockamamie balderdash! Excuse my French.          And where would you even find a bunch of idiots who would be crazy enough to build it?”

Mabel stood up and beamed at him. “Grunkle Stan, you're looking at those idiots.” She said rather proudly.

The rest of the shack cheered, and Soos cried out, “Idiots!”

* * *

Despite Stan complaining and general annoyance, the rest of the residents who were hiding in the shack were more than happy to help. Susan and Fiddleford led most of the work, and the two old friends worked as if nothing ever had happened between them. It was almost awe inspiring how the entire town got together. Wendy led a charge of gnomes to the junkyard, and Mabel and her friends ran through the shack, grabbing items that they needed despite Stan’s protests.

Dipper led a group of people to the mines and Susan, out of pure curiosity, tagged along. She watched, laughing behind her hand, as Dipper had to stop people from taking selfies with the dinosaurs.

Finally, after several days of hard work, Mabel climbed up on top of their work and hung a flag up. It was brown and patchwork quality, but on it was a message that brought warmth to all the tired people ‘Take Back the Falls.’

* * *

The night was chilly, a sign that summer was coming to an end. Mabel had, somehow, knitted sweaters for every single person and creature. Most had put theirs on enthusiastically, and even Susan had only grumbled a bit as she pulled it on.

“Thanks for these apocalypse sweaters, Mabel. The end of the world has never been so comfortable,” Soos said, plucking at his own sweater.

Around the fire that they had set up, everyone nodded in agreement. Except for Pacifica. She was curled up on a log, shivering in her sack dress. When Mabel looked over at her, a yellow sweater with a llama on it, Pacifica sighed and reached for the sweater. “Uh! Fine, I'll wear it,” she huffed. She pulled on the sweater and stared down at it and shook her head. “But I'm not gonna like it.”

Mabel just smiled happily. “Admit it. This is the best day of the end of the world. I think we actually have a chance to beat Bill and win back our future.”

Dipper nodded. “Yeah. Getting to actually live to see our 13th birthday party is the only birthday present I want right now.”

“Hey, if we're lucky enough to get there, I guarantee this whole town is gonna throw you the best birthday party you've ever seen,” Soos pointed out with a shrug. By the murmurers of the townsfolk, it seemed like they agreed.

“Thanks, Soos. Hey, has anyone seen Grunkle Stan?” Dipper asked, looking around.

* * *

Stan was sitting a part from the group in a chair, a gnome next to him, when Susan, Mabel, and Dipper walked over to him. Stan looked over at them and then turned his head so he was glaring straight ahead. “This whole plan is bonkers. But of course no one asked the chief what he thinks. After all I've done for everyone!”

“Shmebulock!” the gnome put in.

“Yeah, exactly, it's a total load of Shmebulock,” Stan agreed, though Susan had a suspicion that that wasn’t what the gnome was saying.

Mabel frowned and crossed her arms. “Is something wrong, Grunkle Stan? You're acting grunklier than usual.”

Stan sighed. “It's this darn plan to save my brother. If you didn't notice, I already saved him once from that portal, and he never thanked me! He causes the end of the world, and still somehow it's always ‘Stan's the screw-up. Ford's the hero.’”

“We should never have been saved from that portal,” Susan said in a surprisingly even voice. “If the portal hadn’t been turned on then we wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.”

Stan glared over at her, but his eyes flicked over to Dipper when he spoke up. “Maybe people think Ford’s a hero because he didn’t want to hide in the Mystery Shack,” he snapped.

“Well maybe if he hid in the Mystery Shack, he wouldn't have been captured!” Stan snapped back.

Mabel got in between them and held up her hands placatingly. “Guys! Guys! Trust me, tomorrow's gonna be great! I believe in us,” Mabel promised.

“Help! Leader Mabel! I keep accidentally flexing through my sweater.” One of the minitours yelled as flexed through his sweater. “Augh! It happened again!”

Mabel beamed at Dipper, Stan, and Susan. “Those weird cow-monsters are delightful!” She turned towards the minitour and yelled, “Coming!” as she started to jog over.

* * *

The next morning was filled with palpable tension. Susan, Dipper, Mabel, and Fiddleford were in the control room with Fiddleford and Susan standing on either sides of the controls. “Alright, fellas. Let's hope this turns out better than my other inventions,” Fiddleford said.

“Everybody ready?” Mabel yelled, and then, “Dipper, now!”

Dipper pulled the lever and the occupants of the shack were thrown forwards, but the wheels began to turn and their machine started to stand up shakily. Unfortunately, that shakiness translated to jostling the occupants.

But it worked. The machine, which was a butcher of many objects with the shack on top, walked steadily to the Fearamid.

“We’re coming, Ford,” Susan breathed to herself. “We’re coming.”

* * *

When they reached the Fearamid, Fiddleford had the machine raise its robot-head arm and, with one mighty punch, it swung through the building, causing the bricks to crumble away and leave a gaping hole in the side of it. The head roared in seeming triumph and a cheer went through the shack.

“What?! I just fixed that door!” Bill’s loud shriek was easily heard, and it made Susan smirk.

As Fiddleford had the machine back up, Susan heard Soos from outside yell, “It's the Shacktron, dude!”

“So the mortals are trying to fight back, huh? Adorable! Henchmaniacs, you know what to do! Take them out!” Bill voice rang out the order. And his henchmaniacs followed through. They grew in size and jumped out of the hole the Shacktron had made and glared up at it, clearly preparing for a fight.

“This was a bad idea,” Stan grumbled.

Soos, who was still outside the Shacktron, turned on the microphone. “Uh, hey, dudes. Is this thing on? Test,” Soos must have held out the microphone after he said that, because it picked up the speakers and the horrible high-pitched feedback screeched out, causing everyone to yell and cover their ears. It was the natural response to such a horrible sound, even if it did no good.

“Heh. Uh, I just wanted you monster dudes to hand over Ford or we'll have to, like, fight and junk. Heh. Hey, you're a little cutie,” he finished while pointing to one of the monsters.

The monster that Soos had pointed to buffed up in anger. “I have butchered millions on countless moons,” he proclaimed.

“Paci-Fire,” Susan said with a shake of her heard. “He’s horrible.”

When Fiddleford looked over at her in curiosity, but she shook her head. It would take far too long to explain her and Ford’s incident with the portal.

“Whoa. I liked you better before you talked. Real...real bring down, this guy,” Soos said with a shake of his head.

“Attack!” One of Bill’s monsters, a female one by the looks of it, screamed out. The monsters started to charge the Shacktron, which was, unknown to them, the cue for the next part of their plan to start.

With a yell of, “All right, dudes!” Soos clambered into the shack. Susan and Fiddleford soon joined the small but very brave group of people.

“Like we all planned everyone! Three, two, one, go!”

Candy and Grenda were in charge of operating the arms, which they used quite gleefully to punch away two of the monsters.

Mabel, with a smile as always, used her pet pig Waddle’s mouth to pull a lever that caused the Shacktron to shoot several of the demons away. “Ha ha ha. Good pig,’ she praised, which caused Waddle to squeal happily.

Meanwhile, Fiddleford was operating the reused head of the Gobblewonker, one of, as Susan had found out, a more violent invention than the simple laptops she remembered. “Get em, Gobblewonker!” She could hear him shout as he, hopefully, hit the agreed upon Eye-Bats with fireballs.

Rumble, who was outside, was also killing Eye-Bats. He had needed a pep talk from Dipper to convince him to go back to ‘being violent,’ as he had referred to it. Wendy, who was keeping a careful eye on him, saw that one of the Eye-Bats was sneaking up on him, and, with a carrying shout of, “Oh, no, you don't!”

She jumped out of the Shacktron and, somehow, got on top of the Eye-Bat. Pulling its wings, Wendy got the bat to turn 8 Ball’s head to stone. And then she jumped back into the shack with a smirk.

Xanthar, who had stayed back to watch most of the other demons fail, started to charge towards the shack. He rammed into it and started to push it back, causing the occupants, even Susan, to scream.

Mabel was the one who stopped it. She shouted, “Everybody! Maximum power,” to her favorite band, which made the members start to sprint on the treadmills they had already been running on.

“And...now!” At Dipper’s cue, Susan turned a wheel, causing the Shacktron to grab Xanthar and throw him far, far, far away.

Teeth, the only demon left, ran away on fire and yelling.

“Oh my god, we did it.” Susan looked around the shack, the expression of shock on their faces likely mirrored the one on her own. It was such an alien thought of them succeeding that she really hadn’t let herself believe, must less hope, that they would.

“See, I told you guys if we just believed-“

“Uh dudes,” Soos interrupted, “Sorry Mabel but I think we’re about to have company.”

Just as he finished his sentence, the Shacktron rocked as Bill slammed one giant fist down on top of it. But, as Bill found out as soon as he raised his fist, the Shacktron was shaken but unharmed. “What the? No! No! No! No! No!” As if he was a toddler having a tantrum, Bill grew multiple fists and started to rain them down on the Shacktron, causing it to shake but remain unharmed. It was all thanks to the unicorn hair. It would make an unpoppable bubble appear around only shack. Nothing Bill could do would harm the shack, but the rest of the Shacktron was a different story. Thankfully, Bill, in his rage, did not seem to notice this flaw.

“He’s distracted. We need to attack,” Susan said to herself just as Mabel shouted out:

“ATTACK!”

Grenda punched out, and the T-Rex head mirrored her movement and punched out, hitting Bill hard. Then, the T-Rex’s mouth bit Bill’s one eye and pulled it out, causing the demon to yell out in pain and clutch at the empty hole. “Aah! My eye! Do you have any idea how long it takes to regenerate that?!?”

“We've got him distracted. Now's our chance,” Dipper said to the rest of the Shacktron, who all nodded.

“Rescue team, move out!” Mabel yelled.

The rescue team that Mabel was speaking about was made up of Stan, Susan, Dipper, Mabel, Soos, Wendy, Pacifica, Fiddleford, and Sheriff Blubs. Though some of them, Stan and Pacifica, were apprehensive about jumping out of the Shacktron with the patchwork parachutes that Mabel had sewn together. Other people, Soos and Mabel, were far too excited for Susan’s and Dipper’s more realistic approach of, ‘this has a huge chance of going badly but saving Ford is worth it.’

“Okay everyone. We get in, rescue Ford, get out, save the world. Piece of cake,” Dipper explained, even though Susan, who was opposite of him, could see that his palms were already sweaty.

“Just so we're clear. If I die, I'm suing all of you,” Pacifica snapped.

“Hey, on second thought, maybe we could come up with a plan that doesn't involve us plummeting to our certain death,” Stan put in rather hopefully.

But Susan just shook her head. “No. Now!” She slammed down on the button and they were pulled backwards into the tubes behind him. They were then shot like a cannon out of the Gobblewonker’s mouth, causing all of them to arc into the air and then start to fall towards the opening they had made.

“Oh, man, oh, man...” Dipper was yelling over and over.

Mabel, on the other hand, was doing cartwheels in the air and yelling, “WOOHOO! HAHAHA!”

Somehow, despite all the possible ways that their plan could go wrong, everyone was able to open their parachutes and land in the Fearamid. No one got tangled up and everyone was able to walk away, no longer attached to their parachutes, unharmed.

Despite how much joy they should be feeling, everyone was instead horrified by the sight of Bill’s throne. It was one thing to see it as a grainy image on TV. It was another thing entirely to see the fellow townsfolk of Gravity Falls warped just for Bill’s amusement.

“Oh, man. It looks even worse up close,” Dipper whispered with a shake of his head.

Mabel was the one who had to get the closest to the throne. And she did so with her head held high. She used her grappling hook, which landed on Wendy’s father, Manly Dan, and had it pull her up to Bill’s seat. In only a few minutes her head poked down and she called down to the waiting group, “I found Great Uncle Ford!” She tossed the grappling hook down. “He's golden. But not in the good way!”

“Great Mabel! Just grab him so we can get out before Bill’s no longer distracted!” Susan yelled back.

“But how are we going to unfreeze them?” Dipper asked, making Susan frown. She had not thought about that.

“I know!” At the familiar southern accent, Susan turned, stunned, to see Gideon dancing in a cage and wearing a cute sailor suite with bright pink cheeks and his hair curled and played with. He looked horrible.

“Gideon! What happened to you?” Mabel asked, horrified. She had already been told by Dipper and Susan and Wendy and Soos about how Gideon had decided to help them in a last minute change of heart. She had, of course, forgiven him already for everything he had done because, as she had put it, “He’s just a kid.” Dipper had complained about that by reminding her that Gideon had tried to kill him and her, but Mabel just shrugged, smiled, and had explained how some people are like scratchy sweaters and you just have to figure out a way to deal with the scratchiness are get them out of your life.

But now, Gideon was a very sad and tired sweater. Even as he explained to the group what had happened to him, he still continued to dance. “Bill captured me. He's been forcing me to do cute dances in this cage for all eternity,” He sobbed. “I'm so tired of being cute!

“How do we undo this?” Dipper asked with a hand motion towards Bill’s throne.

“Mayor Tyler. He's the load-bearing human. Pull him out, and the whole thing goes down,” Gideon explained.

Susan walked over to Maylor Tyler with Dipper behind her. The two tugged him out of place. For a second, he shook. But then slowly, he turned human and the throne started to shake and then collapse as all the people supporting it turned back as well with Mabel falling down as well. There was a clang when Deputy Durland hit Gideon’s cage, causing it to fall down as well.

“Ugh. My mouth tastes like nightmares,” Lazy Susan said with a spat as she sat up in the pile.

Robbie, who fell down on his head and was rubbing at it, looked around the room and then closed his eyes to rub at them. “Aah! I think I'm dark and tortured for reals now.”

“This experience will forever scar Tad Strange,” Tad Strange said.

Gideon, who had clambered free from his cage and had kicked it as far as it would go ripped off his sailor suit. “No more SAILOR SUIT!” He cried out before starting to pant.

Manly Dan, who had also woken up, was quickly reunited with Wendy, who hugged him nearly as tight as he hugged her. “Wendy!”

“Guys!” Wendy laughed in relief as all her brother joined in on the hug.

Pacifica, who had spotted her parents, cried out, “Mom! Dad!” She ran over and hugged them, and they hugged her back in a rare show of affection for the family.

But they were soon knocked over by a running and shouting Sheriff Blubs. Who had spotted Deputy Durland and had yelled, “Durland!”

The two hugged tightly, with Deputy Durland crying and saying, “My Blubs!”

“Don't you ever scare me like that again.” Sheriff Blubs said just as tearfully.

The townsfolk, so moved by the reunion, started to clap and cheer at the sight.

The only people not really paying attention were Ford, Susan, Stan, Dipper, Mabel, and Fiddleford. Ford, who had unfrozen, had grabbed Susan in a bear hug.

“I knew I could count on you Susan,” he had said before giving her a kiss.

Susan had laughed and, to her shame, started to cry. Ford had pulled back but had then quickly changed his mind and went back to hugging her.

“I was so worried,” Susan tried to explain. “I had no idea what Ford was doing to you. Each day I was doing something it felt like a waste because you weren’t there.”

Ford had shushed her and had pulled back to motion around the room. “All these people are reunited because of what you did. That’s not a waste, Susan, it’s amazing.”

“Nothing would have happened if it weren’t for Dipper and Mabel,” Susan said. “They’re really the ones that led this entire thing.”

Ford had beamed at that and had pulled away to go praise them when he saw Fiddleford. He stopped and looked over at Susan who, seeing his eyes, had grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “It’s fine, I promise you. We’ve talked quite a bit.”

Ford nodded but then his face fell. “You must hate me,” He said to Fiddleford. Susan knew what he was referring to. The botched first try of the portal. The way Fiddleford had tried to convince Ford to give it up only for him to say ‘no.’

But Fiddleford just smiled at Ford. “I've tried forgettin'. Maybe I should try forgiving. Come here, old friend.” He hobbled over and Ford, letting go of Susan’s hand, walked over so that the two could hug.

Stan, who had been watching the exchange, just huffed and crossed his arms. “Hey, good to see you too, bro. Now let's get outta here, huh?”

No one replied to him. Instead, Dipper ran over to Ford. “Listen, Uncle Ford, we don't have a lot of time. Remember how you told me right before you were frozen that you knew Bill's weakness?”

“Yeah, a secret way to defeat him?” Mabel added in.

“Susan said she knew it but she said we needed you to actually do it.”

Ford blinked and then nodded. “I--I do!” He pulled on his gloves and spoke to Susan in a low voice, “We need something to write with.”

“Does anyone have a pen? Pencil? Anything?” Susan called out.

But Ford had spotted a spray paint can. He lunged over and grabbed it and shook it to make sure it had paint in it left. “Perfect,” he breathed.

By now, everyone was watching him as he started to walk in a large circle and spray the paint onto the floor.

“We have Bill outside and he occupied but I don’t know how long that will be,” Susan warned with a quick turn of her head to check outside.

Ford just hummed in acknowledgement of what Susan had said, which was actually a lot better than him just waving his hand in her direction. Now he actually said, “Yes, yes. Good, good.”

“Drawing a circle on the floor. Well, he's lost his mind,” Stan huffed with a shake of his head.

“No he hasn’t,” Susan snapped. “His mind is perfectly fine. We can beat Bill with this,” she said with a point to the now finished symbol that Ford had drawn.

“The world's most confusing game of hopscotch?” Pacifica asked, frowning.

Ford blinked and looked over at her. “No, a prophecy. Although it would be a pretty fun game of hopscotch. Many years ago, Susan and I found these ten symbols in a cave. Some we recognized then, some we’ve only recognized now.”

“The native people of Gravity Falls prophesied that these symbols could create a force strong enough to vanquish Bill. With Bill defeated, his weirdness would be reversed and the town could be saved,” Susan explained.

Ford nodded over at her with a smile. “This whole time I thought that it was just superstition. But seeing you all here now, I finally understand that it's destiny.”

“Dipper, you’re the pine tree. And Mabel, you’re the shooting star,” Susan said.

The twins looked over at each other and then stepped onto their spots.

“The question mark. This one's unsolvable,” Soos said even as he looked down at his own shirt, which had a question mark on it.

As it was starting to take far too long to get everyone in place, Susan started to help out. She got Wendy into the ice bag spot, and had placed herself in the glasses one. Fiddleford went to the broken heart one because, as she explained to him, he had broken so many hearts, especially his own, but was becoming whole again through having his memories back. 

 “The Tent of Telepathy sign! That must be Gideon,” Dipper said when he spotted one of the symbols.

Gideon had beamed and had hurried over to the spot. “Whoo! An excuse to stand next to Mabel.”

“Don't turn this into a big deal,” Mabel quickly reminded him.

Gideon just smiled back. “Oh, I won't!” He promised, even though he followed this up with an audible whisper of, “I will.”

“Hold hands, everyone. This is a mystical human energy circuit,” Ford instructed. He had taken his own spot and was looking around the circle with a smile at the sight of everyone coming together, a smile that Susan shared.

Pacifica, who was still wearing the llama sweater, stepped onto the llama symbol and then looked down at her sweater. “This is freaky.”

“Guys, we need to hold hands now,” Susan reminded with a worried look outside.

Pacifica looked over at Mabel and Susan and, with a sigh, took their hands. As everyone else locked hands, the circle and its occupants started to glow blue with the energy it was creating. Outside, thunder crackled.

“Great Uncle Ford! It think it's working!” Dipper yelled over to Ford.

“Hoohoo! Heehahahaha!” Fiddleford cried out, his leg thumping.

“Yes! This is it!” Ford yelled.

“The rest of you, get out! It’s too dangerous to be in here!” Susan ordered the townsfolk. They had no clue if the energy would act like lightening and give a heart attack to anyone nearby.

Thankfully, no one questioned the ordered and they all ran out.

“We just need one more person...Stanley! Stanley, get over here. You're the only one left.” Ford yelled over to his brother, who was standing just outside the circle with his arms crossed and an angry frown on his face.

“You realize this is a bunch of hogwash, right? You really think some caveman graffiti is gonna stop that monster?” Stan huffed.

The others in the circle glared at Stan and started to yell at him in response.

“Dang it, old man! Now's not the time!” Gideon had snapped.

“Come on!” Wendy had put in.

And even Pacifica protested with, “What are you doing? You're gonna ruin this!”

Stan held up his hands in what was probably him trying to be placating. “Whoa. Hey. I'm not the enemy here, people. Don't forget who literally created the end of the world.”

Ford looked down, the words hitting him. He looked over at Stan and pleaded, “I'm sorry, Stanley. I know. Just help me fix it. Please.”

“Fine,” Stan huffed. “Just do one thing. Say ‘thank you.’”

“What?” Ford spluttered.

“I spent thirty years trying to bring you, and Susan, back into this dimension and you both still haven't thanked me! You want me to shake your hand? Say ‘thank you.’”

“Thank you Stanley,” Susan shouted over with a grit of her teeth.

Ford just shook his head. “Fine. Thank you.”

Calm for now, Stan finally took his place between Ford and Soos and took their hands. “Now, see. Between me and him, I'm not always the bad twin.”

Ford rolled his eyes. “Between ‘him and me,’” He corrected before, after a pause, added, “Grammar, Stanley.”

That was what set Stanley off. He ripped his hand out of Ford’s and Soos’ and yelled, “I'll ‘grammar Stanley’ you!” and then he punched Ford, knocking him away from the circle. “You stuck up son of a gun! I mean come on!”

“Don't jeopardize this, you idiot! Everything's on the line!” Ford yelled back.

“Guys stop it!” Mabel yelled.

She and Dipper ran over and started to pull Ford and Stan apart from each other. Susan quickly joined them and grabbed Ford and dragged him forcibly backwards.

“Join hands!” Dipper tried to yell over Ford’s and Stan’s unintelligible yelling at each other.

Everyone froze, though, when Bill suddenly pressed his face into the opening of the Fearamid. “Oh no, it's Bill! Right? Isn't that what you're all thinking? Hey, Gideon, why aren't you dancing? Chop chop, huh?”

Bill started to laugh. “Ha ha ha ho! This is just too perfect! Didn't you brainiacs know the zodiac doesn't work if you don't all hold hands? And what's better, you've brought every threat to my power together in one easy-to-destroy CIRCLE!” He boasted as he set the circle _on fire._

“Oh no!” Dipper cried out, jumping away from the flames.

Pacifica let out a cry of “Ah! My hair!” as her hair caught on fire.

The cry was echoed by Robbie, who started to pat at his hair. “Ah! My hair also!”

Bill ignored everyone else in favor of grabbing Susan, Stan, and Ford. “You guys wanna see what happens to your friends when you can't get along?” he taunted the two brothers.

McGucket glared at Bill and stepped forwards. “ Hey! You give them back!” He demanded.

“You've gone too far, Cipher!” Gideon put in.

“Yeah! We're not scared of you!” And just to back up her statement, Wendy grabbed her axe with a glare.

McGucket, nodding, grabbed his banjo and waved it about in a vaguely threatening manner.

“Oh, but you should be,” Bill said. He snapped his fingers and everyone except for Mabel, Dipper, Stan, Ford, and Susan floated up into the air.

“Ah!” Mabel cried out.

“Oh no!”

“You know, this castle could really use some decorATIONS” The people who were floating changed to tapestries with their faces screaming. Below them where their symbols from the circle.

“Looks like it's too late for your friends,” Bill sneered.

On the floor, the Dipper and Mabel cried out as a cage surrounded them.

“Ah! Kids!” Stan called down, now trying to get out of the first he, Ford, and Susan were trapped in.

“But you can still save your family. Last chance: tell me how to take Weirdmageddon global and I'll spare the kids!” Bill offered.

“No! Don’t do it!” Dipper protested.

“Yeah! Bill makes bad deals!”

Bill glared down at Mabel. “Don't you toy with me, Shooting Star. I see EVERYTHI--!” Just as his eye was showing an image the galaxy, Mabel spray painted him. Bill stumbled back in pain, his free hand reaching blindly out to rub at his eye. “Ow! Not again! Why?! Every time!”

Distracted, Bill let go of Ford, Stan, and Susan, dropping them to the floor.

“I just regenerated that eye!” Bill cried out.

Mabel smirked victoriously. “I k _now_ that hurts because I've accidentally done it to myself! Multiple times!” She said proudly, not noticing Susan eyeing Mabel’s eyes with evident worry.

From his backpack, Dipper pulled out the height-altering crystal flashlight and enlarged the cage, allowing himself and Mable to jump out of it. All the while, Bill, oblivious, screamed in pain.

“Save yourselves. Run! We'll take care of Bill!” Dipper promised.

Ford shook his head. “What? That's a suicide mission!” He pointed out.

Dipper just smiled. “Trust us. We've beat him before...”

“...and we'll beat him again!” Mabel finished. The twins fist bumped, smiling at each other. Turning away, Mabel yelled to Bill, “Hey! Bill! Come and get us, you pointy jerk!”

Not bothering to check if he was following them, Mabel and Dipper ran into the rest of the Fearmid, though Mabel did turn around the blow a raspberry at the literally _growling_ Bill.

Susan shook her head. “They are not going without us!” She snapped. She started to run after the twins, Stan and Ford behind her when Bill turned around and put them in a cage.

“Not so fast. You three wait here!” Bill ordered. He then turned _red_ and grew six arms. “I've got some children I need to make into corpses.” His voice went deep and dark as he said, “Seeya real soon.” And then he flew off.

“No! Wait! No! No! Oh, what do we do? What do we do?!” Stan shouted, looking over at his brother.

Ford banged on the bars of the cage. “Kids!”

The trio sat down on the ground, Ford and Susan on one side and Stan on the other. Stan was refusing to meet Ford’s eyes, instead choosing to look down at the ground miserably. “Oh, I can't believe this. The kids are gonna die and it's all my fault. Because I couldn't shake your stupid hand! Uh, dad was right about me. I am a screw-up.”

“Ah, don't blame yourself. I'm the one who made a deal with Bill in the first place. I fell for all his easy flattery. You would have seen him for the scam artist he is,” Ford pointed out with a shake of his head.

“We both fell for Bill, Ford,” Susan corrected with frown. “Even with two heads we fell for it.”

Stan sighed, looking at his brother. “How did things get so messed up between us?” He asked with a motion to the space between them.

“We used to be like Dipper and Mabel. The world's about to end and they still work together. How do they do it?” Ford asked, shaking his head.

Susan smiled weakly. “They’re kids and they’re all each other have,” she pointed out with a shrug. “Split them apart and they crumble.”

Stan stared down at his feet and then looked over at Susan. He could see the knowing glint in her eye, the way she was staring at him. He knew that the part about being split apart and crumbling was just as much about them as it was the kids. Still, he had to save her.

It had taken a long time, to long, for him to realize he loved Susan. He didn’t notice it until one day Susan smiled at him, the sun hitting her black hair and making it light up like a star. It had hit him all at once, how much he would do for her – how much he cared about her.

Giving himself up to Bill would be easy if he knew that Susan would be safe.

So he stood up, making Stan stare up at him in shock and exclaim, “Whoa, where you goin'?”

“He’s going to give himself up to Bill,” Susan responded, looking over at Ford, who was firmly keeping his back to them. “Bill will take over the world but he might let us go.”

Stan jumped to his feet. “ What?! Are you kiddin' me?! Are you honestly telling me there's nothing else we can do?!” He protested, looking over at Susan in the wild hope that she would back him up.

Ford turned to face his brother, a hopeless frown on his face. “Bill's only weak in the mind space. If I didn't have this darn plate in my head we could just erase him with the memory gun when he steps inside my mind.”

Stan blinked for a moment. “What if he goes into my mind? My brain isn't good for anything,” he suggested.

Susan also got to her feet with a shake of her head. “It has to be Ford, there’s nothing in your mind that he wants.” She turned to Ford. “I could also work, I suppose.”

Ford shook his head firmly. “I was the one that made the deal with him in the first place. He’ll just use you to get to me.” He sighed. “It's the only way he'll agree to save you and the kids.”

Stan crossed his arms. “Do you really think he's gonna make good on that deal?” He asked.

“What other choice do we have?”

* * *

Susan was looking at Ford and Stan, trying to make sure they had caught all the mistakes, when Bill reentered the room with Dipper and Mabel in his hand. “Alright, Ford. Time's up. I've got the kids. I think I'm gonna kill one of 'em now just for the heck of it! EENIE..MEENIE...MINEE…” his eye started to switch between the pine tree symbol that represented Dipper and the shooting star symbol that represented Mabel. Just as the eye landed on the star and Bill roared, “YOU,” Ford’s voice called out:

“Wait! I surrender.”

Smirking, Bill turned towards the cage. “Go choice,” he praised. He carelessly dropped Mabel and Dipper onto the ground.

Susan grabbed onto Stan’s, who was pretending to be Ford, hand. “I won’t let you do this,” she protested, not even bothering to hide the shaking in her voice. Stan looked identical to Ford, to the point where she could almost image it was actually Ford doing this.

“Don't do it, Ford, it'll destroy the universe!!” The actual Ford, disguised as Stan, added in.

The fake Ford just looked down, gently extracting himself from Susan’s hand. “It’s the only way,” he reminded.

Bill started to laugh. “HAHAHAHA! Oh, even when you're about to die, you Pines twins can't get along.” He grabbed the fake Stan and Susan and tied them up, leaving the fake Ford standing in front of Bill with a lifted head.

“My only condition is that you let my brother, Susan and the kids go!”

Bill shrugged. “Fine,” he agreed easily.

“No, Grunkle Ford! Don't trust him!” Dipper cried out desperately from the ground.

The fake Ford and Bill ignored the cry. Instead, fake Ford held out his hand as Bill crowed, “It's a...DEAL!” and the two shook hands.

As soon as Bill’s attention diverted to the mindscape, Ford and Susan were able to quickly get out of the bonds, with Ford knocking Stan’s fez off with a frown at the hat. His attention was soon gotten by Susan, who had pulled out the memory gun, when she handed it Ford, who started to carefully put in ‘Stanley Pines’ and then aim it at Stan’s forehead.

Susan slowly took Ford’s free hand, squeezing it tightly as Ford pulled the trigger.

A bright light shone around the room, but Ford kept the gun pointed at his brother until Stan slumped forwards, his mind completely gone.

Ford dropped the gun and turned to Susan, hugging her tightly as everything returned to normal until they were in the pre-Weirdmageddon time in the forest.

Stan was still slumped forwards on the ground. He opened his eyes just in time for Mabel to run up to him, fez in hand. She threw the fez on him and then gave him a huge hug before Susan or Ford could stop her. “Oh, my gosh! Grunkle Stan, you did it!” She cheered.

Stan awkwardly patted her on the back. “Oh, uh, hey there...kiddo. What's your name?” He asked, the confusion clear in his voice.

Mabel pulled back from the hug, a frown on her face. “Eheh. Grunkle Stan?”

Stan blinked and chuckled. He looked around the forest. “Who you talkin’ to?”

“C-cmon. It's me. It's me, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel pleaded, her eyes welling up. Dipper, who had been watching the exchange along with Ford and Susan, stepped forwards and tugged his sister back, giving Stan more space even as Mabel protested with a, “Grunkle Stan, it's me!”

Ford took a step forwards, looking down at his brother. “We had to erase his mind to defeat Bill. It's all gone. Stan has no idea, but he did it. He saved the world. He saved me.” He knelt down in front of Stan, trying not to wince at the lack of recognition in his brother’s eyes. “You're our hero, Stanley,” he said, and then gave him a hug.

Mabel sat down and started to cry; Dipper placed a hand on Mabel’s shoulder as if to comfort her, but he too had tears running down his face. Susan knelt down next Ford and pulled him into a hug, feeling Ford press his face into her shoulder and start to cry as well.

The only person not crying was Stan, who was looking at the group with confusion on his face.

* * *

They walked, quietly and somberly, to the Mystery Shack. Dipper and Mabel refused to let go of Stan’s hand, helping him stand despite his claims that he was perfectly fine. The shakiness and the way he nearly fell over said otherwise.

Ford walked hand-in-hand with Susan, his hand gripping her tightly. His eyes were firmly on Stan’s back, and the way he was eyeing him Susan knew that he was ready to jump in and grab his brother should the twins’ help prove to be too little.

When they found the Mystery Shack, Mabel let out a little gasp. The shack was in ruins. It was covered in leaves with vines growing around it. It was a leftover from Weirdmageddon, another reminder of all they had lost.

The door was locked, but Dipper quickly kicked it down, an action that made Susan smile despite everything going on around them. Dipper had been so scrawny, so young when she and Ford had first met him, and now he was kicking down locked doors and being so mature.

Dipper and Mabel led Stan into the living room of the shack, Ford and Susan behind them. Just like the outside of the shack, the inside was in disarray as well.

“Hey, this is a real nice place you got here,” Stan commented, sounding so sincere.

The old Stan would never had said that.

Dipper frowned and turned to Stan. “It's your place, Grunkle Stan,” he corrected.

“Don't you remember? Even a little?” Mabel asked, a twin frown on her face.

Stan sat down in the recliner and pulled it back. “Nope. But this chair hugs my butt like it remembers. Ah.” He frowned as he looked around at the group, who were staring at him with long, drawn faces. He frowned even more-so when he saw another, man, Soos, sobbing in the corner. “Hey, why the long faces? You guys look like it's someone's funeral.” He lowered his voice to a whisper to ask, “Who's that big guy crying in the corner?”

Soos turned away, sobbing loudly. Susan, who was the closest to him, patted the man on the back awkwardly.

Dipper shook his head at the scene. “We saved the world, but what's the point? Grunkle Stan's not himself anymore.”

Mabel shook her head. “There's gotta be something we can do to jog his memory.” She protested.

Ford shook his head. “There isn't. I'm sorry. Stan's gone.”

Susan nodded in agreement. “Ford and I know everything about the memory gun. There’s no erasing it.”

Mabel shook her head once more, a determined frown on her face. “I know my Grunkle is in there somewhere. There's gotta be something around here that can help bring him back.” She ran upstairs and came clattering down with her scrapbook and sat down next to Stan and opened it. “This'll work! This has to work! Here's the first day we came to Gravity Falls, Grunkle Stan. And here's a macaroni interpretation of my emotions.”

Mabel started to flip through the pages, and Dipper pointed at the few of the pictures, recalling the memory. “That time we went fishing? That Summerween we spent together? Don't you remember anything?”

Stan shook his head. “I'm sorry. I don't know what this is or who you are or-“ His voice cut off as Waddles the pig jumped up into his lap. Stan glared down at the pig. “Gah! Quit it, Waddles! I'm trying to remember my life story!” He scolded.

Dipper and Mabel gasped while behind them, Ford and Susan exchanged shocked expressions. Stan hadn’t even remembered Ford, so how did he remember Waddles?

“What did you say?” Dipper asked slowly.

Stan shrugged. “I said get _Waddles_ off of me,” he repeated.

Ford gasped, shaking his head in disbelief. “It's working. Keep reading.”

Soos hurried forwards, not even bothering to wipe up his tears. “Skip to my page! He needs to remember our boss-employee relationship.”

Stan rolled his eyes, though a small smile flickered across his face. “Hey, just cuz I have amnesia, don't go tryin' to give yourself a raise, Soos,” he scolded.

“It’s happening! Keep going!” Dipper cheered Mabel on.

Mabel nodded. “Okay. Okay.” She flipped back in the book, landing on the second page and started to read aloud. “’ Day two. Grunkle Stan smells weird but we're starting to bond. He told us a lot about being a business man in the '80s and seemed happy when we pretended to listen. He also gave me a grappling hook which everyone is impressed by. And in more important news, I met some neighborhood hotties.’” She started to laugh and soon everyone joined in, even Stan.

* * *

About a week later, Gravity Falls was back to normal. The mayor had passed a law that Weirdmageddon was _not_ allowed to be mentioned and, should anyone come asking, everyone was supposed to respond with ‘never mind all that.’ Susan had tried to argue against it, pointing out that everyone responding the same way would make anyone suspicious…but she had only gotten a chorus of ‘never mind all that,’ in response.

She walked through the Mystery Shack, hearing Mabel and Dipper moving around in their room. It was the second to last day the twins had in Gravity Falls and they were packing before the party Stan was throwing them.

She walked into the den, smiling as she saw Ford and Stan slumped over next to each other. Ford had called their younger sibling, Dipper’s and Mabel’s great-grandparent, and had gotten a shipment of old family videos. He had watched the entire box with Stan, watching his brother’s face as he recalled both the bitter and the sweet moments.

She turned on the TV, lowering the volume so she could watch the news without disturbing the two.

_“Good morning, Gravity Falls. It's another beautiful day, but every day is beautiful now that the...unpleasantness is over,”_ Shandra greated with a shudder. She went through the news, reminding everyone of the new law in place. _“In other news, the Northwest family has gone broke. After pledging his allegiance to Bill and then placing all his savings in weirdness bonds, Preston Northwest had to sell his mansion to preserve his family fortune. But fortunes have also turned for local maniac, Fiddleford McGucket, who, after regaining his sanity, has made millions overnight submitting his patents to the US government.”_

Susan smiled. Fiddleford had visited Stan to see the progress. He had written down some notes and then started to thump his foot in excitement. He explained, rushed, that he could change the gun to restore memories.

If his theory was correct, it would greatly aid those with dementia.

_“In other good news, town hero, Stanley Pines, has fully recovered his memory and will be throwing a party to celebrate his niece and nephew's thirteenth birthday and final day in town. But other than that, I can safely say our beloved Gravity Falls is back to normal. And now, Bodacious T, with sports.”_

Susan shook her head as Toby Determined appeared on screen decked in gothic garb and holding a skull and a bat. “It's called, ‘death ball.’”

Susan switched off the screen and smiled. For once in her life, she didn’t feel a pull to go and adventure, to find the next mystery, with Ford. Instead, she was content.

* * *

Later that day, at Dipper’s and Mabel’s birthday party, Susan, Ford, Stan, Soos, Wendy, and the rest of the townsfolk all finished the birthday song with a cheer.

“I can't believe you all got together just to throw a party for us,” Mabel exclaimed with a shake of her head.

Tyler shrugged. “After all the Pines family has done for the town, it's the least we could do. You've helped everyone here.”

Gideon nodded. “Thanks to y'all savin' us, I'm gonna learn to open my heart to kindness. No more evil-doin'. From now on, I'm gonna try to be Li'l Gideon, regular ol' kid.”

“Dude! Make a wish, dawg.” Soos called to the twins, an eye on the cake.

Dipper looked around at the group, smiling at his family and friends. “You know, on my first day here, if you had asked me what I wanted, I would have said, ‘adventure, mystery, true friends.’ But looking here at all of you I realize that every wish came true.” He laughed and shrugged. “I have everything I wanted.”

“If I had only one wish it would be to shrink all of you with the shrink ray and bring you home with us in my pocket. But since that's impossible...” she paused and looked over at Ford and Susan. “Is that impossible?”

Susan frowned. “Technically no, but I wouldn’t recommend it.”

Mabel nodded. “Since it’s not recommended, my only wish is for everyone to sign my scrapbook. I'll never forget you guys.”

Everyone smiled and cheered as the twins leaned forwards and blew the candles out together.

Wendy walked forwards and hugged the two. “I now officially declare you technically teenagers. Welcome to angst and acne forever.”

Wendy and the teen group surrounded the twins and started to chant, “One of us! One of us!”

Blubs and Durland, now a couple, fired their cannon with a cry of, “WOOPEE!”

As the rest of the town started to mill about, Soos, Stan, Ford, and Susan gathered around the twins.

“So how do you feel?”

Mabel smiled. “Same-y, but different-y.”

Pacifica suddenly shouldered her way to them. “ Hey, you two. When are you gonna open your presents already? I broke a nail wrapping them.”

Mabel and Dipper exchanged looks and then laughed. “Pacifica,” Mabel said with a smile.

As the twins each grabbed a present, Ford pulled Stan aside and hissed, “Stanley, I need to talk to you.” He led his brother to the back-end of the shack and smiled over at Susan, who had followed them. “I didn't wanna say anything with everyone listening, but we've got a problem. Weirdmageddon has been contained but I'm detecting some strange new anomalies near the arctic ocean.” Lifting his wrist, he showed a holographic world map with red dots blinking on it. “I want to go investigate it but Susan feels we might be too old to go without someone else.”

Stan crossed his arms. “       Are you sayin' you need someone to help you sail around the world in the adventure of a lifetime?”

Ford shook his head. “      I don't just want someone to come with me Stanley, I want it to be you,” he corrected. He pulled out a photo of the two of them as kids posing next to the _Stan-o-War._ “Will you give me a second chance?”

Stan looked down at the picture. “ You think we'll find treasure? And babes? Not that you’re interested in the last one.”

Ford laughed. “Heh! I'd say there's a high probability. But, what should we do with the Mystery Shack?”

Stan looked over at the building behind him. “I think the town's had enough mystery for one lifetime. Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin?’”

Susan smiled as she listened to Stan’s plan. The town deserved a break from everything mysterious.

* * *

A bit later, Ford, Susan, Stan, Dipper, and Mabel stood on the porch of the Mystery Shack. Stan grabbed a Pitt Cola bottle and tapped on it, getting everyone’s attention. “Everyone, I have an announcement to make. Me and my...heh!... nerdy bro over here have some catchin' up to do. We're gonna be away for a while, and his girlfriend is coming with. That's why I'm shutting down the Mystery Shack for good.”

As the crowd gasped and started to mutter to each other, Soos stormed forwards. “You shut down your mouth for good!” he paused and then rushed to add in, “I'm sorry, Mr. Pines. It's just that this shack is the most magical place on Earth. Sure, the attractions are all fake, but dreams aren't fake!” He held up a Fiji Mermaid figure and shook it in the air. “Like, this mermaid. It's not just a dead fish butt sewn to a monkey carcass. It's a marvelous creature that makes us believe that anything is possible. You shut down this shack, and you shut down our dreams! At least...my dreams.”

Stan sighed. “I'm sorry, Soos. It's just, there's no one around to run it. At least, there wouldn't be if I hadn't just found the perfect replacement.” He walked down to Soos and placed his fez onto the other man’s head. “Ladies and gentleman, the Mystery Shack is under new management,” he announced to the crowd, causing much cheering.

Soos looked over at Stan, tears welling up in his eyes. “You...you mean it, Mr. Mystery?”

“You're Mr. Mystery now, Soos. Try not to burn the place down.”

* * *

There was one last thing that had to be done before the twins left. That evening, after the party had ended and the moon had risen up, Susan and Ford stood at a makeshift altered as Stan married them. Mabel and Dipper stood by, smiling. It was the perfect wedding, and both Susan and Ford were beaming as they kissed.

* * *

The next day, the Pines family, now including Susan, Soos, Wendy, Candy, Grenda, and Waddles stood at the bus stop.

“Do you really have to go? There's still so much we haven't done together,” Candy asked Mabel.

Mabel gave her friend a smile and a hug. “Summer's over, Candy. It's time for us to grow up.”

“But not too much,” Dipper added in with a nudge to his sister.

Grenda stomped her foot. “Aaah! I hate my dumb heart for making me feel things.” She yelled. She punched herself in the chest. “Cut. It. Out. Heart!”

“Hey, can you punch my heart, too?” Soos asked.

“No, mine! Punch my feelings away,” Candy asked.

Mabel just hugged the two girls. “Candy and Grenda, thank you for being my people. You'll always be my best friends.” She turned to Stan and smiled at the man, who was wearing a bright pink sweater with ‘Goodbye Stan’ stitched on it. “Grunkle Stan, thanks for wearing my goodbye sweater.”

Stan shrugged and scratched the back of his head. “Ah, it's cold out. I had to.”

Soos frowned. “What? But it's like eighty-something degrees out today.”

“Can it, Soos!” Ford and Stan yelled together, causing the kids to laugh and Susan to rolled her eyes.

Wendy stepped forwards from the group and knelt down next to Dipper. “Hey, you mean a lot to me, man.”

Susan watched as Dipper smiled and fist-bumped Wendy. “You, too,” he replied, sounding…platonic. Susan had seen how he had reacted when he first saw Wendy during Wirdmageddon, hugging her tightly. And she had watched as he desperately tried to act like Stan to get over her on the road trip. But now he just seemed normal around her – he had finally gotten over his puppy crush and had matured from it.

Though he still blushed when Wendy traded hats with him, giving Dipper her old one and taking Dipper’s pine tree one. “Something to remember me by,” she explained. She pulled a letter from her pocket and handed it to the boy. “Oh, and this. Read it the next time you miss Gravity Falls.”

A bus pulled up to the stop and the bus driver opened the door and looked down at the group with clear disinterest. “Last bus leaving Gravity Falls. All aboard.”

Mabel and Dipper turned to the group at large as Waddles the pig took a hesitant step forwards. Mabel looked down at the ground. “Guess we've said goodbye to everyone except...Waddles. I...I don't know how to explain this but...” she sighed and shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. “Mom and Dad won't let me bring a pig home to California so... you have to stay here!”

Waddles walked towards Mabel and started to chew on her skirt, tugging her over from the bus. This, of course, made Mabel start to cry as she tried to push her pet pig away. “Come on. Come on. I have to go. I'm...I'm sorry, Waddles.”

Susan and Ford exchanged looks, both wanting to intervene…but then Stan stepped forwards and crossed his arms. “ Agh! You know what? Forget it! I lived with this pig all summer, now your parents are gonna have to.” He picked up Waddles and placed him onto the bus step. The pig, clearly pleased, trotted up happily to stand next to the less-than pleased bus driver. “Hey, bus guy! This pig is comin' with the kids.”

The bus driver shook his head, a frown started to form. “Now, hold on a second. Bringing animals aboard a moving vehicle is strictly prohibited by—"

His voice cut off as Stan held up his first, showing his brass knuckles, Ford pulled his jacket aside to reveal his gun with Susan doing the same.

“Wah...w-w-welcome aboard. You can sit in the front row, pig,” the bus driver hurried to say. Waddles oinked in approval and Stan, Ford, and Susan relaxed.

Seeing Stan moving to the kids, Ford and Susan took a step back.

“I can’t believe they’re leaving,” Susan murmured with a shake of her head. “It feels like everything just flew by.”

Ford nodded, smiling as Stan hugged Dipper and Mabel. “It’s been amazing watching Dipper and Mabel grow up.”

“They’ll always be back next summer,” Susan reminded, hearing a hint of sadness in Ford’s voice. “I’m sure Dipper will be interested in whatever theories you’ve come up with.”

“And Mabel will have matching sweaters for the three of us.”

The two took hands as Dipper and Mabel got onto the bus. Their friends ran after them as they drove off, the twins sticking their heads out the window to shout farewells. But Ford, Susan, and Stan stayed behind, Ford placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder.

* * *

_"If you've ever taken a road trip through the Pacific Northwest, you've probably seen a bumper sticker for a place called Gravity Falls. It's not on any maps, and most people have never heard of it. Some people think it's a myth. But if you're curious, don't wait. Take a trip. Find it. It's out there somewhere in the woods. Waiting.”_

And somewhere, deep in the woods, a statue of Bill Cipher laid abandoned, petrified and useless.


End file.
